River so Wide
Let us never forget, freedom is NOT FREE20 total reviews
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
Wonderful! Wonderful! Patriotic poetry stirs the soul. Thank you for writing this.
Not intending to offend, but I see two corrections and have one suggestion:
First stanza: Dear brother's should be "brothers"
Third stanza, third line, should be "that were shed"
Could this be shorter, but still fit your poem?
Instead of "The river Saigon, of the song we have sung."
how about "The river Saigon, of the song we sang."
I would love for you to place in the contest. Please don't be offended.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Wonderful! Wonderful! Patriotic poetry stirs the soul. Thank you for writing this.
Not intending to offend, but I see two corrections and have one suggestion:
First stanza: Dear brother's should be "brothers"
Third stanza, third line, should be "that were shed"
Could this be shorter, but still fit your poem?
Instead of "The river Saigon, of the song we have sung."
how about "The river Saigon, of the song we sang."
I would love for you to place in the contest. Please don't be offended.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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thaities, please know I am forever grateful and always welcome suggestions for improvement, as I do strive for perfection in every effort. Thank you so much for being so honest and reflective.
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You're quite welcome.
Comment from RShipp
Your picture was a very poignant remember of all the 'work' done as soldiers and not just the gun battles.
We do need to remember to honor those who returned from the lands abroad as much as we honor those who gave thier lives.
Best of luck in the In Their Memory writing prompt contest.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Your picture was a very poignant remember of all the 'work' done as soldiers and not just the gun battles.
We do need to remember to honor those who returned from the lands abroad as much as we honor those who gave thier lives.
Best of luck in the In Their Memory writing prompt contest.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2020
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Thank you.
Comment from Gail Denham
Because of those who served - indeed - always ready to go at a command. And into such horror at times - unimaginable. Some wars were useless as it turned out and how that hurts even now
Good poem
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Because of those who served - indeed - always ready to go at a command. And into such horror at times - unimaginable. Some wars were useless as it turned out and how that hurts even now
Good poem
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Gail, thank you! War in America, has become far too political and far to many have made the ultimate sacrifice - for a zero sum gain.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem about the fight and the struggle to ensure a country's freedom that cost many brave men's lives and his it seems the new generation wants to give it all away.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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A very well-written free verse poem about the fight and the struggle to ensure a country's freedom that cost many brave men's lives and his it seems the new generation wants to give it all away.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Sandra, I do thank you and yes youth of America are blind to the what freedom costs.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello mystery writer. The war was undeclared but the loss of 58,000 Americans is real. The Viet Nam war changed America.
The following phrase is rich in meaning. I hope all readers recognize what you're saying: "The jungles were not the home of the brave, but it was the blood of the brave that was shed..."
This is a great piece. Well Done and good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Hello mystery writer. The war was undeclared but the loss of 58,000 Americans is real. The Viet Nam war changed America.
The following phrase is rich in meaning. I hope all readers recognize what you're saying: "The jungles were not the home of the brave, but it was the blood of the brave that was shed..."
This is a great piece. Well Done and good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Robert, that is the line that I hope most capture. War in America has become far too political and far too many have made the ultimate sacrifice - for a zero sum gain.
Comment from RodG
The Vietnam War was fought by young men of my generation. I appreciate your tribute to those who fell over there and those who survived. May I just suggest you make it BROTHERS in arms in your opening line as you refer to THOSE (plural) lost and in your closing stanza. Rod
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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The Vietnam War was fought by young men of my generation. I appreciate your tribute to those who fell over there and those who survived. May I just suggest you make it BROTHERS in arms in your opening line as you refer to THOSE (plural) lost and in your closing stanza. Rod
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Rod thank you,of course , a most welcome and necessary suggestion!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written poem you have penned for the In Their Memory writing prompt. You are so right that freedom is to free. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose. Blessings Teri
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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This is a very well written poem you have penned for the In Their Memory writing prompt. You are so right that freedom is to free. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose. Blessings Teri
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Teri, I do thank you so much!
Comment from papa55mike
May we never forget the sacrifice of our fallen soldiers or the families left behind. What a wonderfully written poem and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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May we never forget the sacrifice of our fallen soldiers or the families left behind. What a wonderfully written poem and I love the picture.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Mike, I thank you sincerely!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow poet. Thank you for sharing your poem, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Hello fellow poet. Thank you for sharing your poem, I think you executed well within the rules of the writing prompt. Good job and good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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My dear friend, I do thank you most sincerely.
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Thank you for sharing this poem. Freedom is not free; we must never forget... One phrase that I was stuck on each time I read this piece was: "so sadden;" -- Should this be "so saddened"? Anyways, I appreciate the important subject matter and your attention to the presentation of the piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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Thank you for sharing this poem. Freedom is not free; we must never forget... One phrase that I was stuck on each time I read this piece was: "so sadden;" -- Should this be "so saddened"? Anyways, I appreciate the important subject matter and your attention to the presentation of the piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2020
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KY Colonel Randal, ROGER THAT, and rightly so!
