Wishing Well
The search for wellness and fulfilment.18 total reviews
Comment from Gail Denham
Well done - I do like the comparing desert to one's life -and carrying the hope on a rope - great inner rhyme. Empty husk blown around, wanting someone to take their hand - all of these most descriptive of how some feel. And the project you're involved in sounds good - where would this exhibit take place? Interesting.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
Well done - I do like the comparing desert to one's life -and carrying the hope on a rope - great inner rhyme. Empty husk blown around, wanting someone to take their hand - all of these most descriptive of how some feel. And the project you're involved in sounds good - where would this exhibit take place? Interesting.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thanks for your review Gail.
(The exhibition is going to be held here in Dunedin, New Zealand, at a main street art gallery in a few months time.)
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The poem resonates with the lonely souls and sometimes our own bereft lives. It is succinct in its message. The metaphors used are powerfully apt. The repeated red stanza says it all. Great job here.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
The poem resonates with the lonely souls and sometimes our own bereft lives. It is succinct in its message. The metaphors used are powerfully apt. The repeated red stanza says it all. Great job here.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thanks very much for your comments.
Comment from MamaBebop
Lisa,
This is a fantastic poem. As I read it, I sort of could see it being a song. Maybe it was the repeating stanza. The title as well is perfect. The repeating stanza obviously has the wishing part, but then you wrote "I carry my bucket of hope on a rope" which was the most beautiful part to me. Your project you are working on in the author's notes sounds amazing. Good luck with that.
Blessings to you,
Beth
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
Lisa,
This is a fantastic poem. As I read it, I sort of could see it being a song. Maybe it was the repeating stanza. The title as well is perfect. The repeating stanza obviously has the wishing part, but then you wrote "I carry my bucket of hope on a rope" which was the most beautiful part to me. Your project you are working on in the author's notes sounds amazing. Good luck with that.
Blessings to you,
Beth
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review and your supportive comments.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is an unusual poem in many ways. It has a rhythm all its own that is not closely tied to either syllable count or classical metre. As such it works like free verse but, possessing a repeated rhyme scheme, it cannot be categorised thus. It uses rhyme in a very modern way, similarly to that used by the English Poet, Philip Larkin. Although I don't recall him using a refrain. With the third stanza being more hopeful I think you were absolutely right to leave out the refrain after the final verse.
This is very well-written and I wish it luck in the contest for which it is entered.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
This is an unusual poem in many ways. It has a rhythm all its own that is not closely tied to either syllable count or classical metre. As such it works like free verse but, possessing a repeated rhyme scheme, it cannot be categorised thus. It uses rhyme in a very modern way, similarly to that used by the English Poet, Philip Larkin. Although I don't recall him using a refrain. With the third stanza being more hopeful I think you were absolutely right to leave out the refrain after the final verse.
This is very well-written and I wish it luck in the contest for which it is entered.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thanks for your comments. Must say I'm delighted to have Larkin's name mentioned as a style similarity.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about seeking something good in our lives but it seems not to be easy to find. We go everywhere to find it with the bucket if luck around our neck.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
A very well-written poem about seeking something good in our lives but it seems not to be easy to find. We go everywhere to find it with the bucket if luck around our neck.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Ever hopeful!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Loneliness is a terrible thing and I know many women who live alone who are never lonely and they enjoy life, but loneliness can spiral and bring you down. Your project sounds worthwhile Lisa and I liked your pome with the chorus, it reads like a song, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
Loneliness is a terrible thing and I know many women who live alone who are never lonely and they enjoy life, but loneliness can spiral and bring you down. Your project sounds worthwhile Lisa and I liked your pome with the chorus, it reads like a song, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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I spend many hours alone and in silence but I relish that time as my creative space. I don't think about being lonely because if I did it might sneak in. We are what we think.
(Thanks for reviewing. I've been away from home for over 2 weeks and am wildly behind in responding to reviews and reading. I appreciate your support Dolly.)
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Not having time to be lonely is a good attitude, I feel the same, love Dolly x
Comment from Sankey
Well done and so relevant to Aussieland atm. Glad the rain has finally come at last. You did really well with this and I hope you do ok in the contest. No spags and great layout.
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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
Well done and so relevant to Aussieland atm. Glad the rain has finally come at last. You did really well with this and I hope you do ok in the contest. No spags and great layout.
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Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Thanks for reviewing. We have a serious drought in the north of NZ at the moment, after flooding episodes in the South Island. Nature is kicking up a fuss.
Comment from kahpot
" I carry my bucket of hope" excellent, if I had to critique on anything it would be " I still am God's creature" to me this interrupted the flow, maybe something like ( I still stand as God's creature?) none the less, I enjoyed poem very much, loneliness is terrible, very well done****kahpot
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
" I carry my bucket of hope" excellent, if I had to critique on anything it would be " I still am God's creature" to me this interrupted the flow, maybe something like ( I still stand as God's creature?) none the less, I enjoyed poem very much, loneliness is terrible, very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Thanks for your terrific review. i had a rethink about the line you mentioned, then changed it to "I am still God's creature".