Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Branching Points"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
34 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
It sounds like you had the worst possible parents. They were the adults and you were the child, and whatever happened is on them, not on you. It's a credit to you that you were able to do so well in school in spite of it all.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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It sounds like you had the worst possible parents. They were the adults and you were the child, and whatever happened is on them, not on you. It's a credit to you that you were able to do so well in school in spite of it all.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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Cindy, I am profoundly aware that God and great mentors have been alongside me on this life journey. I hope that, if only one person, is is the throws or has had an abusive experience, that my words will give them a glimmer of hope that they walk not alone.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This poor lad had been through it all. A near death experience in the lake, a drunken father, and a mother after being drunk took liberties with him. Thank God he had a teacher that saw his worth and talent. This is good work and I enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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This poor lad had been through it all. A near death experience in the lake, a drunken father, and a mother after being drunk took liberties with him. Thank God he had a teacher that saw his worth and talent. This is good work and I enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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Jeffrey, I am profoundly aware that God and great mentors have been alongside me on this life journey. I hope that, if only one person, is in
the throws or has had an abusive experience, that my words will give them a glimmer of hope that they walk not alone.
Comment from Pam Norris
I felt so many emotions reading this piece, it is very well written and somewhat heartbreaking. I hope you have forgiven your mother and find happiness going forward in life.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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I felt so many emotions reading this piece, it is very well written and somewhat heartbreaking. I hope you have forgiven your mother and find happiness going forward in life.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
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Pam, I will be honest, it took time and healing, But yes I was able to --I do my best everyday to see all people like I imagine God wants us to see --"I AND THO." I am profoundly aware that God and great mentors have been alongside me on this life journey. I hope that, if only one person, is is the throws or has had an abusive experience, that my words will give them a glimmer of hope that they walk not alone.
Comment from Gideon300
The things that scar us never heal easily. This is really a well written piece, though the subject saddens me. I just wish we all had some joyful secrets to help balance out the crappy ones. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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The things that scar us never heal easily. This is really a well written piece, though the subject saddens me. I just wish we all had some joyful secrets to help balance out the crappy ones. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Gideon, I find life much like the field trials with low and high hurdles. If we do our very best and pick ourselves up every time we miss a hurdle we soon learn to soar higher. Such was the case for me. I did find God and He presented me with a lifetime of solid mentors who helped me grow-up.
Comment from Gail Denham
Oh My stars - what a story - It's in your autobiography - and I'm so very sorry for this terrible long-term abuse you must have endured. It's hard to imagine the grief and fear you and your siblings went through. Blessings and I'm glad you were able to let it go, turn to God for cleansing of your mind and heart.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Oh My stars - what a story - It's in your autobiography - and I'm so very sorry for this terrible long-term abuse you must have endured. It's hard to imagine the grief and fear you and your siblings went through. Blessings and I'm glad you were able to let it go, turn to God for cleansing of your mind and heart.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Gail, I find life is much like the field trials with low and hurdles. If we do our very best and pick ourselves up every time we miss a hurdle we soon learn to soar higher. Such was the case for me. I did find God and He presented me with a lifetime of solid mentors who helped me grow-up.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
Nice piece of Biographical Non-Fiction having lucid wording, smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
'Sink or swim' and 'Bathroom' scenes are particularly noteworthy.
Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Hello Friend,
Nice piece of Biographical Non-Fiction having lucid wording, smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
'Sink or swim' and 'Bathroom' scenes are particularly noteworthy.
Best of Luck!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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RPSaxena, Thanks for taking the time to read and comment onm y efforts.
Comment from Minglement
Wow, a lot of horrific secrets, all heartbreaking. It rings so true, it held me spellbound. My heart goes out to you. I hope this write was cathartic and I hope you have found peace. I wish you luck in the contest. God bless.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Wow, a lot of horrific secrets, all heartbreaking. It rings so true, it held me spellbound. My heart goes out to you. I hope this write was cathartic and I hope you have found peace. I wish you luck in the contest. God bless.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Minglement, All writing in some manner is cathartic. I writ in order than others who may stumble upon my writings who have been wounded in childhood, know that they walk not alone. We each and everyone, in our own ways, rise up through the challenges cast in our paths.
Comment from Frank Jauregui
Your writing read like an open sore that just kept widening with every word. I pray that you would find it in your heart to forgive your parents, which I know is hard to do, but I can tell you from my own experience that you will also find forgiveness for yourself by doing so. I am a Pastor in my church, and I preach and counsel the words of my Lord Jesus, Matthew 6:14 "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." Not everyone I've counseled has heeded these words, but those who did, were truly transformed and set free. I pray you too, will be set free.
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Your writing read like an open sore that just kept widening with every word. I pray that you would find it in your heart to forgive your parents, which I know is hard to do, but I can tell you from my own experience that you will also find forgiveness for yourself by doing so. I am a Pastor in my church, and I preach and counsel the words of my Lord Jesus, Matthew 6:14 "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you." Not everyone I've counseled has heeded these words, but those who did, were truly transformed and set free. I pray you too, will be set free.
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Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Dear Frank, trust in knowing that I rest in the palm of God's Grace and know that it was my parents who suffered wounds that I will never know. God in all souls' and I find great Peace knowing that they did the best they knew how, alcoholism is a pathway they traveled and I can rest in Peace knowing they knew not what they were doing. While they are long deceased, I have been able to thrive and in my retirement am able to write, in order than, perhaps someone who is being abuses might on this writing and realize they are not alone.
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Dear Jimmy,
You describe your work as "A secret buried with childhood scars." In effect, however, you have admirably presented "The secrets buried beneath my childhood scars."
Your personal stories are told simply and with a vividness of detail that brings them alive. It is an act of courage to be able to tell the stories of how you were abused (not just once but many times) by both your Mam and Da. What I find missing is your "raw anger" and how you were emotionally crippled by these childhood events.
I'm pleased that you managed to shuffle in Ms. Benner into your "secrets." You may not have intended it, but the story of Ms. Benner provides some "emotional relief" for me as a reader. My suspicion is that Ms. Benner demonstrated the kind of parenting that you so surely missed at home. I give thanks for all the Ms. Benners that you discovered along the way.
As for the craft of writing, here are some specifics:
your text = First, I try to just stay afloat, and then, little by little, the dock comes a bit closer and closer until I finally grasp a worn-out rope hanging over the rail off the dock. I am exhausted, shivering from fear positively, but shivering more from knowing I can never trust Da again.
my rewrite = I manage to stay afloat, and my splashing in the water serves, little by little, to bring me closer to the dock. Exhausted, I finally grasp a half-rotten rope attached to the dock. I use it to pull myself up onto the dock. The heat radiating from the planks gradually heals my shivering from the fear and the cold. No amount of heat from the sun, however, can cure my shivering from the stark realization that I will never trust Da again.
Peace and joy in writing your life story,
Aaron
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Dear Jimmy,
You describe your work as "A secret buried with childhood scars." In effect, however, you have admirably presented "The secrets buried beneath my childhood scars."
Your personal stories are told simply and with a vividness of detail that brings them alive. It is an act of courage to be able to tell the stories of how you were abused (not just once but many times) by both your Mam and Da. What I find missing is your "raw anger" and how you were emotionally crippled by these childhood events.
I'm pleased that you managed to shuffle in Ms. Benner into your "secrets." You may not have intended it, but the story of Ms. Benner provides some "emotional relief" for me as a reader. My suspicion is that Ms. Benner demonstrated the kind of parenting that you so surely missed at home. I give thanks for all the Ms. Benners that you discovered along the way.
As for the craft of writing, here are some specifics:
your text = First, I try to just stay afloat, and then, little by little, the dock comes a bit closer and closer until I finally grasp a worn-out rope hanging over the rail off the dock. I am exhausted, shivering from fear positively, but shivering more from knowing I can never trust Da again.
my rewrite = I manage to stay afloat, and my splashing in the water serves, little by little, to bring me closer to the dock. Exhausted, I finally grasp a half-rotten rope attached to the dock. I use it to pull myself up onto the dock. The heat radiating from the planks gradually heals my shivering from the fear and the cold. No amount of heat from the sun, however, can cure my shivering from the stark realization that I will never trust Da again.
Peace and joy in writing your life story,
Aaron
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Aaron, very wise counsel on the suggested rewrite. As a novice writer, I am always grateful for such supportive counsel. In my early retirement years, I write openly about abuse. My hope is that someone may stumble across these writings who are in or have been in the throws of abuse realize they are not alone or a freak of nature. God's grace and great mentors are there at every turn to cling to.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
It's told in such frank, direct language and of a different time period than I remember. I'm reading them all but, this one is by far the most sobering. Presentation adds to the story. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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It's told in such frank, direct language and of a different time period than I remember. I'm reading them all but, this one is by far the most sobering. Presentation adds to the story. Good luck. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 09-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2020
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Kiwi, thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope that someone may stumble across these writings who are in or have been in the throws of abuse and realize they are not alone or a freak of nature. God's grace and great mentors are there at every turn to cling on.