Reviews from

Aaron's Dragons

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Goodbye Purple"
An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs

16 total reviews 
Comment from Mistydawn
Excellent
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The babies are getting older, leaving the nest, how sad. At least they can still visit her. I'm so glad everyone is doing alright, black is getting better, improving. This is a well-written chapter, interesting. A little tearful at the end but I hate goodbyes.

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
    Thanks. That ending was hard to write. I couldn't have Aaron riding around carrying a purple dragon. She will be OK.
Comment from JudyE
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I enjoyed reading about the dragons and how they're learning new skills. Scan the piece as I might, I couldn't find any typos or glitches so well done you. This is a very engaging story.

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
    Thanks for the six! They're growing up. They have some challenges ahead.
Comment from brenda bickers
Excellent
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OH Cindy,
this is so sad. What a shame purple has to leave. I am glad black is getting stronger again. I have become quite attached to these little dragons. I love this story and once the book is finished will probably go back and read it all again in one go.
Keep 'em coming.
Brenda.x

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
    Thanks. Purple has to live where she was meant to. She can't be walking around in the snow. She'd leave quite a trail. She will be OK.
Comment from Alex Rosel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I haven't read many previous chapters of this, so I come to it more or less cold.

Your narrative provides an easy, flowing read. In particular, I like how you're characterizing the different dragons with their own personalities {thumbs up}.

Here are a few points you might like to consider:

He watched Black turning over small rocks and twigs. -- This doesn't seem quite right to me. Do you "turn over" twigs? Twigs are small, thin, and have no default top and bottom. Perhaps a dragon would root, snuffle or nose among twigs.

"So you know." -- Spag. This is a question; terminate it with a question mark.

Mountain, Yellow, and Sky dove in with her -- You use of "dove" here struck me as incorrect, until I look it up and found that American English uses it in places where British English uses "dived". Thank you for highlighting this difference, I'm always on the lookout for differences between American English and British English {thumbs up}.

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 Comment Written 25-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
    Thanks. I'll fix that right away.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Awe! How sad to watch purple have to go off on her own. I love the way you describe the interactions of the dragons with each other, with Duane and Aaron and with their environment. I'm so happy to see black is recovering so well. Looking forward to enjoying more! xoxo

 Comment Written 24-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2019
    Thanks! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Yes, it was a bit sad and hard to write. The little dragons are growing up. They have some challenges ahead.
reply by Diana L Crawford on 25-Nov-2019
    xoxo! I so appreciate this story!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Brown has been with Purple for so long he'll really miss her. What's this about a fire? Does Aaron plan to burn the cabin? Well, all the dragons should be able to move on now, so maybe it's time.

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 Comment Written 24-Nov-2019


reply by the author on 24-Nov-2019
    Thanks. Aaron will not burn the cabin. He's afraid the enemy will. Even some of Dylan's men wanted to because they're afraid of the witch. Dylan wouldn't let them for fear of a forest fire.