Aaron's Dragons
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Dylan"An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs
15 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I really love stories about knights and dragons, in this case many dragons. The descriptive nature of this episode is a very well thought out and your imagination is very sound, the fact that you have concocted a genuine plan for your characters, is quite impressive, well done, good episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : Perfectly good hunter(')s cabin
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
I really love stories about knights and dragons, in this case many dragons. The descriptive nature of this episode is a very well thought out and your imagination is very sound, the fact that you have concocted a genuine plan for your characters, is quite impressive, well done, good episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : Perfectly good hunter(')s cabin
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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Thanks for catching that. I'll fix it right now.
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Well done Cindy
Comment from Sallyo
hunters cabin."
hunters' cabin."
The quiet before a storm, I suspect. I liked Aaron's "hiding in plain sight" tactic with his old friend, and the twins are a new interest. I'm feeling sorry for poor Black, and hope he's a reformed character.
As usual, not much more to say except... getonwithit!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
hunters cabin."
hunters' cabin."
The quiet before a storm, I suspect. I liked Aaron's "hiding in plain sight" tactic with his old friend, and the twins are a new interest. I'm feeling sorry for poor Black, and hope he's a reformed character.
As usual, not much more to say except... getonwithit!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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Thanks for catching that. It's fixed. I can't reform Black too much; can't let him and red get dull! He won't be trying to eat any more horses, tho. He does learn.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I counted 12 times the name Aaron was used in the beginning of your story before I stopped. Perhaps you might consider replacing some mentions of this character with a pronoun.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
I counted 12 times the name Aaron was used in the beginning of your story before I stopped. Perhaps you might consider replacing some mentions of this character with a pronoun.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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Thanks. I may need to take another look at that.
Comment from Alex Rosel
I haven't read the previous chapters of this, so I come to it cold.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
Same as you, I recon. -- Spag? Do you mean "Same as you, I reckon."
But I want you to know, I know the tax collectors are taking more than folks can spare. I know those folks are hiding a chicken coop or two in the forest.-- There's a lot of "knowing" going on here. If this was mine, I'd reword it to something like ""But I want you to know, the tax collectors are taking more than folks can spare. Folks are hiding a chicken coop or two in the forest."
The little dragon stretched out along his forearm, and though his tail dangled a bit, he was about the same length. -- Nice imagery {smiles}.
By noon, the dragoyles, -- I like the name, dragoyles {smiles}.
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reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
I haven't read the previous chapters of this, so I come to it cold.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
Same as you, I recon. -- Spag? Do you mean "Same as you, I reckon."
But I want you to know, I know the tax collectors are taking more than folks can spare. I know those folks are hiding a chicken coop or two in the forest.-- There's a lot of "knowing" going on here. If this was mine, I'd reword it to something like ""But I want you to know, the tax collectors are taking more than folks can spare. Folks are hiding a chicken coop or two in the forest."
The little dragon stretched out along his forearm, and though his tail dangled a bit, he was about the same length. -- Nice imagery {smiles}.
By noon, the dragoyles, -- I like the name, dragoyles {smiles}.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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Thanks for the suggestions. I'll take another look at that. I'll fix 'reckon' right away.
Comment from beizanten
A very interesting past chapters summary. Intriguing opening paragraph. Interesting characters and I like how you potray their action and emotion well. please keep up the great work
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reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
A very interesting past chapters summary. Intriguing opening paragraph. Interesting characters and I like how you potray their action and emotion well. please keep up the great work
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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Thanks. I think the two new 'dragoyles' should be a lot of fun.