St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "St. Louis Chapter 13 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
18 total reviews
Comment from Tootsie55
This was a great chapter. Really getting to the crux of Mac. Now spags and suggestions "What('s) she talking abour
say (a) prayer
Might be different where you are we call em "restraining orders"
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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This was a great chapter. Really getting to the crux of Mac. Now spags and suggestions "What('s) she talking abour
say (a) prayer
Might be different where you are we call em "restraining orders"
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
You didn't list Simon's wife in the character list. She's interesting and has some good advice for Mac. Wonder of having two children and being pregnant with a third will make marriage a selling point for Mac? How terrible that Mac's mother was beaten her grandfather and beat Mac too. Could he be responsible for thw threats on Logan? Sounds like he might be too old and if he's alcoholic not capable of too much thinking about plotting anything. Great work! judi
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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You didn't list Simon's wife in the character list. She's interesting and has some good advice for Mac. Wonder of having two children and being pregnant with a third will make marriage a selling point for Mac? How terrible that Mac's mother was beaten her grandfather and beat Mac too. Could he be responsible for thw threats on Logan? Sounds like he might be too old and if he's alcoholic not capable of too much thinking about plotting anything. Great work! judi
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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I will add Sheila to the character list. She will be a friend to McKenzie, but I think I need to add more of her in the story. I need to rewrite parts. LOL Thank you.
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You're welcome. Good. Sheila made quite an impression. She has a common-sense approach to things. judi
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
How attitude, love and romantic element could influence a process of investigation, where mysteries reveal of old murders intervene, a soft stand would come on light; well done.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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How attitude, love and romantic element could influence a process of investigation, where mysteries reveal of old murders intervene, a soft stand would come on light; well done.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement. I do appreciate it.
Comment from Gert sherwood
I will tell you barbara.wilke (Barb)
I found that is well worth reading about how McKenzie's and Sheila told each other of inner thoughts, made the dialogue
between the two yes, made me feel very emontial of what of what deep down was bothering them.
Was to me very well written by you.
Gert
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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I will tell you barbara.wilke (Barb)
I found that is well worth reading about how McKenzie's and Sheila told each other of inner thoughts, made the dialogue
between the two yes, made me feel very emontial of what of what deep down was bothering them.
Was to me very well written by you.
Gert
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement. It's greatly appreciated.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good episode. Seems that Logan's friend can tell by looking that they are a couple. Why hasn't he said anything to Mac, I wonder? Good idea to have the other couple in the story. They can help Mac and Logan make sense of things. :)
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Good episode. Seems that Logan's friend can tell by looking that they are a couple. Why hasn't he said anything to Mac, I wonder? Good idea to have the other couple in the story. They can help Mac and Logan make sense of things. :)
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Mackenzie keeps protesting that Logan and sha aren't an item, but Sheila can see right through her, as can everyone else. To Logan she's someone special. But Simon and Sheila have had their problems as she explains to Mac. Great episode, perhaps Simon has provided an answer? Well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo : I'm (a) horrible cook.
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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Mackenzie keeps protesting that Logan and sha aren't an item, but Sheila can see right through her, as can everyone else. To Logan she's someone special. But Simon and Sheila have had their problems as she explains to Mac. Great episode, perhaps Simon has provided an answer? Well done, Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo : I'm (a) horrible cook.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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I will that little wayward word. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome Barbara,
Comment from Sylvia Page
Everyone thinks that Logan and Mac are a couple. Maybe they are best suited but Mac is cautious. Can't blame her. Well written.
This did not sound right...
Logan punched his buddy's arm. "Then whose fault it is?"/Logan punched his buddy's arm. "Then whose fault is it?"
Best to you as always
Sylvia
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reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Everyone thinks that Logan and Mac are a couple. Maybe they are best suited but Mac is cautious. Can't blame her. Well written.
This did not sound right...
Logan punched his buddy's arm. "Then whose fault it is?"/Logan punched his buddy's arm. "Then whose fault is it?"
Best to you as always
Sylvia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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I fixed it. Thank you for the catch and the review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this is a great chapter and I'm sure romance is on the cards. I only found a few minor points:
"No, but we can all move to the dining room." = you'll need to double space before this.
Anyway, few days later, = Anyway, a few days later,
I like Sheila a lot. All best. Ulla xx
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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Hi Barbara, this is a great chapter and I'm sure romance is on the cards. I only found a few minor points:
"No, but we can all move to the dining room." = you'll need to double space before this.
Anyway, few days later, = Anyway, a few days later,
I like Sheila a lot. All best. Ulla xx
Comment Written 15-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
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I like her too. We will be seeing Sheila again. I'd like to see her more than we do. I'm going to try to rewrite a few areas and get her in more. LOL Thank you for the kind review. I fixed those areas. Matter-a-fact I read the second one over and over again, before I could figure out what I did wrong. I kept read the 'a' there.
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I know how it is. You just don't see it. I'm glad you're going to involve Sheila more. She's a lovely character. :)))
