St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "St. Louis Chapter 12 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
18 total reviews
Comment from susand3022
Hi Barbara! It's moving right along... personally, I wish, once again, that a person could put up an entire chapter at once... and not have to put it up in pieces. I wouldn't mind reading a few thousand words of this in one chapter. I've got a feeling that it would go quickly, as this always goes by too quickly. The sign of a good story. :)
Just one glitch... I think you were typing too fast! In the paragraph that begins with... "A druggy, who was looking for an easy mark,"... there's a sentence with what I think is an extra word... -Why were they (were) meeting?- see? typing too fast... lol That was the only one I found. :)
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Hi Barbara! It's moving right along... personally, I wish, once again, that a person could put up an entire chapter at once... and not have to put it up in pieces. I wouldn't mind reading a few thousand words of this in one chapter. I've got a feeling that it would go quickly, as this always goes by too quickly. The sign of a good story. :)
Just one glitch... I think you were typing too fast! In the paragraph that begins with... "A druggy, who was looking for an easy mark,"... there's a sentence with what I think is an extra word... -Why were they (were) meeting?- see? typing too fast... lol That was the only one I found. :)
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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I will fix it. LOL Thank you for the catch
Comment from royowen
An interesting episode, and it looks like the a definite cover up in Meghan's murder, too many gaps in the evidence, so Logan and Mack are discovering, going to the actual scene that wasn't roped off for one. They find a cell phone which probably didn't belong to Meghan, well done Barbara, an excellent episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : Gave the camera to Logan to hold as (she) pulled...2: but (in) real life...
3 : we don't know for (a) fact... 4: Shoot(,) that guy could...
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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An interesting episode, and it looks like the a definite cover up in Meghan's murder, too many gaps in the evidence, so Logan and Mack are discovering, going to the actual scene that wasn't roped off for one. They find a cell phone which probably didn't belong to Meghan, well done Barbara, an excellent episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : Gave the camera to Logan to hold as (she) pulled...2: but (in) real life...
3 : we don't know for (a) fact... 4: Shoot(,) that guy could...
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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I have made the corrections. Thank you for the catches.
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Well done
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, another great chapter. II like the story. It's well written and I'm looking forward to reading on.
"We don't know for fact that she was pregnant, only that she thought she could be." I think it should read: "We don't know for a fact that... or "We don't really know whether she was pregnant, ... Just a thought.
All the best. Ulla xx
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Hi Barbara, another great chapter. II like the story. It's well written and I'm looking forward to reading on.
"We don't know for fact that she was pregnant, only that she thought she could be." I think it should read: "We don't know for a fact that... or "We don't really know whether she was pregnant, ... Just a thought.
All the best. Ulla xx
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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I will check that area. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello barbara.wilkey (Barb)
One thing you do keep us readers interesting in reading this chapter, you are so good to give us very clear evidence that
McKenzie she doesn't leave anything upturned.
Gert
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Hello barbara.wilkey (Barb)
One thing you do keep us readers interesting in reading this chapter, you are so good to give us very clear evidence that
McKenzie she doesn't leave anything upturned.
Gert
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
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Barb you are welcome
Gert
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is another well penned addition to the ongoing story. The offside conversation about the Megan's phone was a nice break in the tension you were building. I enjoyed it and really like the way you are developing the relationship between these two characters. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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This is another well penned addition to the ongoing story. The offside conversation about the Megan's phone was a nice break in the tension you were building. I enjoyed it and really like the way you are developing the relationship between these two characters. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I really liked this chapter. You manage to keep the reader at the edge: who do you trust? Is the police covering up for somebody? Who and why will somebody kill a teacher? thanks for sharing and good luck with your book publishing.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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I really liked this chapter. You manage to keep the reader at the edge: who do you trust? Is the police covering up for somebody? Who and why will somebody kill a teacher? thanks for sharing and good luck with your book publishing.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good episode. Sure sounds like the cops are hiding evidence for some reason. Where is Megan's phone? They should have it to be checking her calls. Maybe that throw-away phone WAS hers, because she didn't want her calls on record. And surely the autopsy showed if she was pregnant or not, and if so, the guy's DNA would be close to the baby's. So where is all this major info?
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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Good episode. Sure sounds like the cops are hiding evidence for some reason. Where is Megan's phone? They should have it to be checking her calls. Maybe that throw-away phone WAS hers, because she didn't want her calls on record. And surely the autopsy showed if she was pregnant or not, and if so, the guy's DNA would be close to the baby's. So where is all this major info?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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They're hiding it, but why? Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Barbara,
good solid chapter here. Making some headway with the case and the easiness that is coming from Mac & Logan is a joy.
Not sure what's happened with the formatting here but there's no lines between the paragraphs.
I think when you read through this in its entirety you'll notice a lot of letting dogs in and out. I'm not sure it's needed.
Rather than the silence continued (which was used to end the last chapter as well) you could change it about to things such as 'They fell into an easy silence.' or The rest of the journey was quiet. It's a bit odd to say the silence continued just after someone speaks.
make sense. It's still and active investigation." - an rather than and here.
None was mentioned in the police report. - perhaps none were or Nothing was.
"Who would rob a teacher? They don't make much money?" - the second sentence didn't feel like a question.
"Is there any way we could stop for some ice cream on the way home? I sure could use a turtle concrete about now?" - same thing here.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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Hi Barbara,
good solid chapter here. Making some headway with the case and the easiness that is coming from Mac & Logan is a joy.
Not sure what's happened with the formatting here but there's no lines between the paragraphs.
I think when you read through this in its entirety you'll notice a lot of letting dogs in and out. I'm not sure it's needed.
Rather than the silence continued (which was used to end the last chapter as well) you could change it about to things such as 'They fell into an easy silence.' or The rest of the journey was quiet. It's a bit odd to say the silence continued just after someone speaks.
make sense. It's still and active investigation." - an rather than and here.
None was mentioned in the police report. - perhaps none were or Nothing was.
"Who would rob a teacher? They don't make much money?" - the second sentence didn't feel like a question.
"Is there any way we could stop for some ice cream on the way home? I sure could use a turtle concrete about now?" - same thing here.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2019
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I have made the corrections. I hate making so many mistakes when I did edit. Honestly I did. Thank you.
