Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Suicide or not?"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
12 total reviews
Comment from BigPoppaJrock
Great story, I love the characters names McGee and Short, you hit guidelines of the prompt using all words. Great interaction early on between the partners. I really enjoyed the flow of your story it was easy to follow. I did enjoy the twist. Thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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Great story, I love the characters names McGee and Short, you hit guidelines of the prompt using all words. Great interaction early on between the partners. I really enjoyed the flow of your story it was easy to follow. I did enjoy the twist. Thanks for sharing.
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Comment Written 05-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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thank you very much
Comment from Y. M. Roger
This is a good idea for an offering for this writing prompt contest -- just gotta love those names...good choice!! ;) :) I would only suggest that there are a number of punctuation and grammar errors throughout...I have noted some through the first three paragraphs for you. I would suggest, perhaps, reading it out loud including making noted pauses where you have commas and see if you can find a few more corrections throughout the remainder... :) :) Thanx so much for sharing and good luck in the contest! ;) :)
Seemingly, it always happened to Peebles McGee and his partner Ralph Shorts, 2 police officers. Known --> It always seemed to happened to Peebles McGee and his partner Ralph Shorts: 2 police officers known
ringing, set the stage, for what looked like it would be another --> ringing set the stage for what looked to be another
the Eastside and was informed --> the East side. He was informed
disgust, realizing, not one --> disgust as he realized not one
explain, that as a result of the call the --> explain that, as a result of the call, the
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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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This is a good idea for an offering for this writing prompt contest -- just gotta love those names...good choice!! ;) :) I would only suggest that there are a number of punctuation and grammar errors throughout...I have noted some through the first three paragraphs for you. I would suggest, perhaps, reading it out loud including making noted pauses where you have commas and see if you can find a few more corrections throughout the remainder... :) :) Thanx so much for sharing and good luck in the contest! ;) :)
Seemingly, it always happened to Peebles McGee and his partner Ralph Shorts, 2 police officers. Known --> It always seemed to happened to Peebles McGee and his partner Ralph Shorts: 2 police officers known
ringing, set the stage, for what looked like it would be another --> ringing set the stage for what looked to be another
the Eastside and was informed --> the East side. He was informed
disgust, realizing, not one --> disgust as he realized not one
explain, that as a result of the call the --> explain that, as a result of the call, the
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2019
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I pulled this, baes on your honest input, for editing. Thank you, I have much to work to do I will release when I clean it up thank you very much!
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You are welcome. :)