The Eternal Sweater
Free style24 total reviews
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Ciliverde,
Your exceptionally well-crafted and moving poem speaks to me on many levels: gifts given and received, finding a memento from a lost or deceased loved one, "spring cleaning" but stumbling upon memories - so much so that the cleaning never transpires...
Wonderfully rendered...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Hello Ciliverde,
Your exceptionally well-crafted and moving poem speaks to me on many levels: gifts given and received, finding a memento from a lost or deceased loved one, "spring cleaning" but stumbling upon memories - so much so that the cleaning never transpires...
Wonderfully rendered...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for this very nice review.
Carol
Comment from royowen
Yes, there are genuinely no answers to these questions, it depends on the person I guess, so there are as many answers as there are people. A beautifully written free verse poem, that poses many questions but very few satisfactory answers, well done Carol, sorry. Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Yes, there are genuinely no answers to these questions, it depends on the person I guess, so there are as many answers as there are people. A beautifully written free verse poem, that poses many questions but very few satisfactory answers, well done Carol, sorry. Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much, Roy. I appreciate your review and understanding...
Carol
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Well done
Comment from barkingdog
God only knows what to do with such a memory. That's what it is. Him wrapped in plastic, forever remembered. Forever there to remind you of the loss. I have such things. Unable to part with them.
You touched a part of me that I mostly choose to forget.
:) e
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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God only knows what to do with such a memory. That's what it is. Him wrapped in plastic, forever remembered. Forever there to remind you of the loss. I have such things. Unable to part with them.
You touched a part of me that I mostly choose to forget.
:) e
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Ellen, and sorry about touching a sore spot. We all have them...I hope you are well (other than this, lol).
xx, Carol
Comment from dragonpoet
This is so sad. It tells of a broken relationship that can't really be totally forgotten no matter how deep you hide it away. It could be in your closet or in your mind. How could he not understand how much love was put into the sweater. Maybe he did and didn't want to remember in either.
Maybe you could use a picture of a dusty attic with a few boxes in the corner.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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This is so sad. It tells of a broken relationship that can't really be totally forgotten no matter how deep you hide it away. It could be in your closet or in your mind. How could he not understand how much love was put into the sweater. Maybe he did and didn't want to remember in either.
Maybe you could use a picture of a dusty attic with a few boxes in the corner.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Well, he actually died and his family gave me the sweater back. If HE had given it back to me it would be a lot easier to throw it away, lol. Thanks Joan,
Carol
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You're welcome, Carol.
Joan
Comment from Mark Valentine
It doesn't need an image - even if one is not familiar with the backstory, the words evoke so much emotion. I love the line "but this you'll never let go." - it has such a great double-meaning that cuts to the heart of the poem.
And then there's the contrast between the hope of then ("weaving hope into each blue stitch"), and the distance from that hope so many years later ("tucked away in a box, in a closet, somewhere, alive only in the tiniest, darkest, forgotten corner of your heart.") is so heart-wrenching.
And in-between, there is so much nuanced emotion expressed with great, poetic lines about "the stillness of forgetting" and the loving care it takes to weave something with slow fingers, and pain coming in awful waves.
Nobody writes from the soul with as much elegance as you do.
Loved this.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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It doesn't need an image - even if one is not familiar with the backstory, the words evoke so much emotion. I love the line "but this you'll never let go." - it has such a great double-meaning that cuts to the heart of the poem.
And then there's the contrast between the hope of then ("weaving hope into each blue stitch"), and the distance from that hope so many years later ("tucked away in a box, in a closet, somewhere, alive only in the tiniest, darkest, forgotten corner of your heart.") is so heart-wrenching.
And in-between, there is so much nuanced emotion expressed with great, poetic lines about "the stillness of forgetting" and the loving care it takes to weave something with slow fingers, and pain coming in awful waves.
Nobody writes from the soul with as much elegance as you do.
Loved this.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Mark. I wished that his mom had not given me the sweater back. I mean, what am I supposed to do with it? It's not something you can just throw away, or give away. Thanks so much for understanding :))
Carol
Comment from Joan E.
My, my--you were up late! But I was glad to see your name pop up on my screen this morning. I too have memories like this in "darkest, forgotten" corners--I am a hoarder! Your use of "dusty embrace" said it all. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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My, my--you were up late! But I was glad to see your name pop up on my screen this morning. I too have memories like this in "darkest, forgotten" corners--I am a hoarder! Your use of "dusty embrace" said it all. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I have a lot of old items like this one that I've kept. I suppose I'll never get rid of it, someone else will have to ;)
Thanks Joan! I hope your summer is going well,
Carol
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I worry about my son having to get rid of all my memories!
We have been cool on the coast--only 72 degrees today! -J
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Right now I have big stacks of my mom's books, and I already gave tons of them to the Malibu Library. I also have a big box of letters from my grandmother. My mom never got rid of them so now I've got them :))
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You've reinforced my worry about burdening my son with my "stacks". Thanks for mentioning the Malibu Library in terms of reducing book collections. -Joan
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is a very touching story in free verse Carol.
It's only human to want to keep something to remind you of love that was shared and taken away too soon. This spoke of the pain and sorrow. Well done, Nancy:) xxx
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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This is a very touching story in free verse Carol.
It's only human to want to keep something to remind you of love that was shared and taken away too soon. This spoke of the pain and sorrow. Well done, Nancy:) xxx
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, Nancy,
Carol
Comment from William Andrews
The metaphor of the discarded sweater: A terrific symbol that describes the tragedy of loss that the poet has obviously suffered. And the slow knitting suggests to me the slow and careful building of a relationship that was, apparently, ended suddenly by some terrible accident (The broken body). And now the sweater would be too much of a reminder after years and years of trying to achieve the "calm of years passed" and the "stillness of forgetting." (Both beautiful images), I wonder why you choose the "you" approach (as if speaking to someone else or else to yourself as a third party) rather than the "I." But then perhaps the "I" point-of-view would disrupt that calmness and forgetting. A poem that could be trite and maudlin is anything but. Well done and heartfelt without the "poor me" quality of which much of writing such as this is often guilty.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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The metaphor of the discarded sweater: A terrific symbol that describes the tragedy of loss that the poet has obviously suffered. And the slow knitting suggests to me the slow and careful building of a relationship that was, apparently, ended suddenly by some terrible accident (The broken body). And now the sweater would be too much of a reminder after years and years of trying to achieve the "calm of years passed" and the "stillness of forgetting." (Both beautiful images), I wonder why you choose the "you" approach (as if speaking to someone else or else to yourself as a third party) rather than the "I." But then perhaps the "I" point-of-view would disrupt that calmness and forgetting. A poem that could be trite and maudlin is anything but. Well done and heartfelt without the "poor me" quality of which much of writing such as this is often guilty.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Some of these things are easier to write about as if it happened to another person - removing the immediate emotion. Or maybe I was trying to put the reader into my shoes. It's just how the poem appeared to me. Thank you for these thoughtful comments!
Carol
Carol
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
I'd search for an image of an old, battered gift box as that is what this piece speaks to - quite eloquently I might add. This is very well penned and a most enjoyable, if sad reading experience. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I'd search for an image of an old, battered gift box as that is what this piece speaks to - quite eloquently I might add. This is very well penned and a most enjoyable, if sad reading experience. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I could, but I kind of hate that we have to always find an image to go with the poem. Sometimes I enjoy the search but other times I just don't... but thank you so much for reading my poem :))
Carol
Comment from RodG
But is it ever forgotten? No. I have a closet that's like an attic, where I've "tucked away in boxes" or on shelves not sweaters but books and writings. I can easily visualize the Speaker knitting that sweater and then getting it back years later. Many readers who have lost someone will respond to this poignant poem with gratitude to you for having written it. Rod
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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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But is it ever forgotten? No. I have a closet that's like an attic, where I've "tucked away in boxes" or on shelves not sweaters but books and writings. I can easily visualize the Speaker knitting that sweater and then getting it back years later. Many readers who have lost someone will respond to this poignant poem with gratitude to you for having written it. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Sadly I got the sweater back only a year after I knitted it. My friend died in a tragic accident and his mother gave it back to me :/
Carol
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That is a heartbreaking story. Hopefully, good memories will replace the sad ones. Rod