Sheldon and Shelly
Just your garden variety love story.15 total reviews
Comment from Michele Harber
This is a charming story, made particularly cute by the couple being snails with all the romance and affection of human couples. I love the little "inside" snail humor, i.e., Sheldon's "oozing with charm," and their topics of conversation being roses and fruits. You tell a complete story, with perfect meter and flow and excellent rhymes, and your characters are very appealing. I'm entered in this contest as well, and I think I just saw my chance of first place ooze out the window. Seriously, good luck in the contest. You did a great job!
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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This is a charming story, made particularly cute by the couple being snails with all the romance and affection of human couples. I love the little "inside" snail humor, i.e., Sheldon's "oozing with charm," and their topics of conversation being roses and fruits. You tell a complete story, with perfect meter and flow and excellent rhymes, and your characters are very appealing. I'm entered in this contest as well, and I think I just saw my chance of first place ooze out the window. Seriously, good luck in the contest. You did a great job!
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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So glad you took the time to review this. I'm also glad you caught some of the snails insider stuff. Did you know the part they use to travel is called a foot? - Wendy
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
A love story of Sheldon and Shelley leaves a message of love if love is afoot all trails lead to the heart, truly shown; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing. Write to inspire changes for years--DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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A love story of Sheldon and Shelley leaves a message of love if love is afoot all trails lead to the heart, truly shown; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing. Write to inspire changes for years--DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Thanks for the review and it is fun to be back writing again. - Wendy
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Wendy
Lovely to see you back here again.
Oh, this poem is priceless!
The fabulous photograph is enough to inspire those suffering from the most chronic bout of writer blockage.
Your meter is spot on and your imaginative story-poem is a delight to read.
I particularly enjoyed the last two lines that sum up the love-struck pair.
agreed that despite dwelling hours apart,
if love is afoot, all trails lead to the heart.
Bravo!
I wish all the very best of luck, Wendy.
kind regards
trimple :)
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reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Hello there, Wendy
Lovely to see you back here again.
Oh, this poem is priceless!
The fabulous photograph is enough to inspire those suffering from the most chronic bout of writer blockage.
Your meter is spot on and your imaginative story-poem is a delight to read.
I particularly enjoyed the last two lines that sum up the love-struck pair.
agreed that despite dwelling hours apart,
if love is afoot, all trails lead to the heart.
Bravo!
I wish all the very best of luck, Wendy.
kind regards
trimple :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Hello Tracey. Thanks so much for the review and you are right about the photo cure. How could I resist the challenge put forth by my friend who sent it to me? I am trying to spend more time here and need to get back in the habit. Hope friends send more photos ;) - Wendy
Comment from kiwisteveh
Aaahhh!
Cute story poem of the two snails proving that differences can still work together. Lots to like in the construction of this with strong rhyme throughout and some lovely imagery suited to snails - right down to the clever use of 'trails' at the end.
The meter is not always perfect e.g. 'of his night time travels' is a hiccup for me. Would 'of travels at night time' work better?
Love the picture!
Steve
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
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Aaahhh!
Cute story poem of the two snails proving that differences can still work together. Lots to like in the construction of this with strong rhyme throughout and some lovely imagery suited to snails - right down to the clever use of 'trails' at the end.
The meter is not always perfect e.g. 'of his night time travels' is a hiccup for me. Would 'of travels at night time' work better?
Love the picture!
Steve
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
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Hey Steve, thanks for the suggestion. It always helps to have other tongues and ears involved in the rhythm thing. I am glad you enjoyed both the poem and the picture. A friend sent it with a challenge to write about it. Probably should put in the author notes that Land Snails move by gliding along on their muscular foot.
Comment from L. A. Stanley
What a wonderful love story about two snails! How creative to even think of that scenario to write about! When I first saw the picture, I didn't know what to think because I don't find snails "pretty." But the moment I began reading the poem I changed my mind because, with your story, they came alive to me. Now, when I look at the picture, they are so cute and whomever captured this in a photo...what a great shot!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
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What a wonderful love story about two snails! How creative to even think of that scenario to write about! When I first saw the picture, I didn't know what to think because I don't find snails "pretty." But the moment I began reading the poem I changed my mind because, with your story, they came alive to me. Now, when I look at the picture, they are so cute and whomever captured this in a photo...what a great shot!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
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Thanks so much. I too have no fondness for these slimy creatures, but the photo was so perfect, and a friend sent it to me with a challenge to write a poem to match. It is a photoshop, but shhh don't tell anyone. - Wendy