St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "St. Louis Chapter 4 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
20 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
As in previous parts, the dialogue is a strength. It moves the action along and reveals quite a bit about the characters. It doesn't sound as if they all have their eye on the cue ball! LOL
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2019
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As in previous parts, the dialogue is a strength. It moves the action along and reveals quite a bit about the characters. It doesn't sound as if they all have their eye on the cue ball! LOL
Comment Written 08-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2019
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They didn't. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from 24chas
I enjoyed this chapter, Barbara. It was well-paced and I liked the action of the chapter. I think you did a good job with the billiard scene and with Jose. Can't wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2019
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I enjoyed this chapter, Barbara. It was well-paced and I liked the action of the chapter. I think you did a good job with the billiard scene and with Jose. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
This was great. I thought I already reviewed this, maybe on Tootsie so it should not be allowed on here with Tom's Firewall thing he has going. Sassy chapter as I said elsewhere.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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This was great. I thought I already reviewed this, maybe on Tootsie so it should not be allowed on here with Tom's Firewall thing he has going. Sassy chapter as I said elsewhere.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Tootsie55
What a sassy chapter this was. Not usual from you, cheeky lady. A great read again. A couple of suggestions. "I guess(ed??) you wouldn't.
(')I never understood why anybody would jump from a perfectly good airplane(')
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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What a sassy chapter this was. Not usual from you, cheeky lady. A great read again. A couple of suggestions. "I guess(ed??) you wouldn't.
(')I never understood why anybody would jump from a perfectly good airplane(')
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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I made the changes. Thank you for the catches.
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I am going to get Sallyo (Sally Odgers in Tasmania) to publish my autobiography. I need to find some others' stuff she has worked on. Also needing to read more of her own stuff too. Cheers.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very vivid chapter and active. Your writing lets me visualize the scene easily. I didn't find a thing to recommend. Great job and have a great evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Very vivid chapter and active. Your writing lets me visualize the scene easily. I didn't find a thing to recommend. Great job and have a great evening. Shirley
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from susand3022
Well, gotta wonder what that was all about... go surreptitiously to a bar, use that T&A to your best advantage, win a couple of games of pool and then leave? I'm scratching my head here! I guess I'm going to have to wait and see... ;)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Well, gotta wonder what that was all about... go surreptitiously to a bar, use that T&A to your best advantage, win a couple of games of pool and then leave? I'm scratching my head here! I guess I'm going to have to wait and see... ;)
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Yes, you are. They were wanting to more acquainted with George. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, McKenzie is doing a great job showing she's one of the hard girls. It's very well written, and the dialogue comes fast and to the point. Yes, I like it a lot. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Hi Barbara, McKenzie is doing a great job showing she's one of the hard girls. It's very well written, and the dialogue comes fast and to the point. Yes, I like it a lot. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from Ben Colder
Sounds like some places I have spent time in when a soldier. 82nd 173, I bet you hubby is acquainted with crazy bunch, Good one Barb. Been a day or so since
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Sounds like some places I have spent time in when a soldier. 82nd 173, I bet you hubby is acquainted with crazy bunch, Good one Barb. Been a day or so since
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. I've a got a grandson with the 82nd now.
Comment from royowen
Mckenzie puts on s good show for the "boys" pretending to be a slutty girl with revealing clothes, and false Tatts, to impress the boys at the pool hall, playing with their emotions. An undercover cop named Jose is her pool partner. Well done Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo : "She's a looker, that's (foreshore) for sure? 2: Fall into Jake(')s hands. 3: the six, two, eleven seven balls went (it) in? 4:,"All I need is the eight ball (it)the side pocket." In?
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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Mckenzie puts on s good show for the "boys" pretending to be a slutty girl with revealing clothes, and false Tatts, to impress the boys at the pool hall, playing with their emotions. An undercover cop named Jose is her pool partner. Well done Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo : "She's a looker, that's (foreshore) for sure? 2: Fall into Jake(')s hands. 3: the six, two, eleven seven balls went (it) in? 4:,"All I need is the eight ball (it)the side pocket." In?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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WOW!! Thank you for the catches. I have made the corrections. I guess my brain took a nap while editing.
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Well done Barbara.
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Barbara,
Another intriguing chapter you have penned, my friend. Your story is very well written.
Just one typo:.
""All I need it the eight ball in the side pocket," "
I think you meant is the eight ball.
Thanks for an entertaining read.
Jan :-)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Hi Barbara,
Another intriguing chapter you have penned, my friend. Your story is very well written.
Just one typo:.
""All I need it the eight ball in the side pocket," "
I think you meant is the eight ball.
Thanks for an entertaining read.
Jan :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the catch. I can't believe with all the editing I missed it. Oh my!!!
