Comment from tbacha58

Excellent

Your grieving and weeping gave the picture a huge place in your poem. Yes, you are so right in writing this message for your contest so that all writers will value your poetry. Very well done. Terry xoxo

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, terry.

Steve

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Oh my goodness, yes, we get attached to those trees. They are so glorious. However, sometimes they grow in the wrong direction of wires and traffic views. I'm all for relocating them. We had to take down two evergreens on our property because the roots broke our sewage pipes underground. Our basement hosted all the neighbor poop and toilet paper. It was disgusting to see and smell. The trees had to go.

Good cinquain form with an outstanding message. Well done. I'm thinking this one will claim a top spot in the contest results.

Joy xx

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Joy.

yes, we have experienced trees and sewer damage as well - but these ones were not causing that sort of problem and it was sad to see them go.

Steve

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Sad but now the day.
Very nicely done cinquain, perfectly done and reminds us of how much we are losing these days. What will be gone in this new year?

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Barb.

Yes, it was very sad to see this whole line of trees dispatched in a single day, quite changing the landscape.

Steve

Comment from Sasha

Exceptional

YOu did a marvelous job with this beautifully written cinquain poetry contest. I lived on a street that had beautiful cherry blossom treed growing for several block. We woke one morning to discover they were all gone. It took us several weeks to learn who had done it and they were fined a large amount for the damage. We all cried when the trees were cut down, it was a beautiful street and seemed dead without them.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Sasha, thanks so much for the lovely words and the six star rating.

These trees were on the farmer's land and he was within his rights to have them cut down, but in our eyes it was still a tragedy.

Steve

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

How horrible. I hate hearing about more trees being cut down. I guess it's not understood what that does to the environment or maybe they just don't care. Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I wish you luck with the contest and getting your point across.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Barbara.

Our new government has made a pledge to plant one billion trees over the next few years. I guess they will have to add forty more to that ambitious goal now!

Steve

Comment from 24chas

Excellent

This was a good read, kiwisteveh. It had a good flow to it and the message was really quite sad. It's a shame that so many of nature's creations are sacrificed for human "advancement." When I first saw the picture, I thought maybe some tree huggers were included in the sacrifice because of the way the blade looks.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Chas.

i chose the picture to emphasise the 'murder' of the trees. It was one of the more subtle images that came up when I googled 'chainsaw' and 'blood'!

Steve

Comment from JudyE

Excellent

It is so sad when old trees - or young ones for that matter - are cut down. Grieving is the only word to describe the emotion when these specimens are brought crashing to the ground.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Judy.

There were about forty of these beautiful poplars and yes, we heard every one crashing down - a depressing day.

Steve

Comment from geetha silvaratnam

Excellent

Excellently written. A really good entry for the cinquain poetry contest. Thats a great picture to match the poem. The last line is touching. Thanks for sharing and all the best.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Geetha.

There were about forty of these beautiful poplars and we heard every one crashing down - a depressing day.

Steve

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Very sad. Very powerful. Killed instead of felled is an apt choice. Humans have been destroying the planet for decades. The rain forests being murdered is like a genocide of ecosystems...

Thanks for voicing this. I am not a fan of cinquain form, but this is a superb one...one of the best I've read.

Superb assonance of A and EE.

One suggestion to use commas here:


Forty-year spires that graced,

each day, the lane below.

Bravo and good luck.

Warmly,
rd

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Rama. Your comma suggestion is a good one that assists in the reading of this, I think.

The Cinquain can be an effective form, I believe, but just like the haiku, it can be poorly done if all the writer is thinking of is getting those syllables right.

Steve

reply by rama devi on 14-Mar-2019

Exactly...agreed!

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Nice pacing for dramatic effect. I like the way you've constructed this Cinquain. The subject matter will be close to the hearts of many. The wilful destruction of established trees is always a cause of sadness.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

Thanks, Tony.

There were about forty of these beautiful poplars and yes, we heard every one crashing down - a depressing day.

Steve