St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "St. Louis Chapter 1 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
33 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, great continuation to your new novel. I find it a little strange that the bartender didn't try to help her. Now, I'm looking forward when she's coming to in a strange hotel bed. All best. Ulla:)))
Logan watched as McKenzie paralleled park. = ... parallel parked ...
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Hi Barbara, great continuation to your new novel. I find it a little strange that the bartender didn't try to help her. Now, I'm looking forward when she's coming to in a strange hotel bed. All best. Ulla:)))
Logan watched as McKenzie paralleled park. = ... parallel parked ...
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. I have made the correction.
Comment from estory
I think there's good attention to detail in your writing, and we get the emotions roiling inside this guy as he shadows McKenzie. It's a bit creepy, and interesting in that he seems to have all kinds of motives. There's a tense scene in the bar between Logan and the guys trying to make off with her. It seems a little unbelievable that the bartender wouldn't intervene there. He says he thinks the two are up to no good, so why didn't he help her? Also, if he cares so much about her, why does he so easily give her up to Logan, knowing nothing about him? Just something for you to think about; an angle another perspective on your premise. estory
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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I think there's good attention to detail in your writing, and we get the emotions roiling inside this guy as he shadows McKenzie. It's a bit creepy, and interesting in that he seems to have all kinds of motives. There's a tense scene in the bar between Logan and the guys trying to make off with her. It seems a little unbelievable that the bartender wouldn't intervene there. He says he thinks the two are up to no good, so why didn't he help her? Also, if he cares so much about her, why does he so easily give her up to Logan, knowing nothing about him? Just something for you to think about; an angle another perspective on your premise. estory
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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The bartender never saw Mac before and either did the two men. A bartender is going to mind his own business in order to remain in business. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is such a good start to your new novel, Barbara, I wonder what she will say when she wakes up in Logan's bed! LOL. Now, where is my new dog? Logan hasn't been too impressed with Mac so far. I bet they'll make a great team! lol. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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This is such a good start to your new novel, Barbara, I wonder what she will say when she wakes up in Logan's bed! LOL. Now, where is my new dog? Logan hasn't been too impressed with Mac so far. I bet they'll make a great team! lol. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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I think they have a few issues to work out. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Barbara,
I enjoy longer posts in the novels. I've been testing the waters and once you get your audience hooked, you can get away with posts of around 1200 words.
I love the car. My brother had a '69 Candy Apple Blue Roadrunner. Same body style and the great horn that sounded like the cartoon character.
This chapter gives us insight into Logan's growing concern and maybe interest in Mac. Just hoping she doesn't shoot him when she wakes up in the morning.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Hi, Barbara,
I enjoy longer posts in the novels. I've been testing the waters and once you get your audience hooked, you can get away with posts of around 1200 words.
I love the car. My brother had a '69 Candy Apple Blue Roadrunner. Same body style and the great horn that sounded like the cartoon character.
This chapter gives us insight into Logan's growing concern and maybe interest in Mac. Just hoping she doesn't shoot him when she wakes up in the morning.
Looking forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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I now have three votes for longer posts and two for the same. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Stephanie Launiu
This was a surprising turn of events. I'm interested to see what happened to McKenzie in the bar. I liked the length of this excerpt. It was just long enough to digest and give the reader the necessary information to hook them for the next chapter. Good job.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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This was a surprising turn of events. I'm interested to see what happened to McKenzie in the bar. I liked the length of this excerpt. It was just long enough to digest and give the reader the necessary information to hook them for the next chapter. Good job.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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I have now three for longer and three for remain the same. Oh my!! Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sandragee
"Can't wait to hear your story," Logan said to the passed out Mac. It better be a good story she had to tell because Logan had been questioning her ability as a private investigator even before the pub incident.
I want to know what happened to Mac in that pub. Like Logan, I can't wait to hear the story.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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"Can't wait to hear your story," Logan said to the passed out Mac. It better be a good story she had to tell because Logan had been questioning her ability as a private investigator even before the pub incident.
I want to know what happened to Mac in that pub. Like Logan, I can't wait to hear the story.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
She's got some 'splainin' to do. Good thing he went to the bar. What kind of dog does she have, anyway? Probably a good idea for a woman living alone to have a big scary dog. :)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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She's got some 'splainin' to do. Good thing he went to the bar. What kind of dog does she have, anyway? Probably a good idea for a woman living alone to have a big scary dog. :)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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We will meet this new dog all in good time. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rhonda Skinner
This was a very interesting chapter. The only thing that caught me off guard was: He watched her lifeless body. It sounded like she was dead.
To answer your question, I don't mind reading longer posts. Bring 'em on! :)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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This was a very interesting chapter. The only thing that caught me off guard was: He watched her lifeless body. It sounded like she was dead.
To answer your question, I don't mind reading longer posts. Bring 'em on! :)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Now I have 4 votes for longer posts and 3 for remain the same. LOL Thank you for the kind review..
Comment from Dawn Munro
I think that first phrase should be parallel park(ed).
Macho man, huh? Too much car for the little lady? Already your male protagonist is 'under my skin'. LOL
I can't wait to hear her story too! What the heck happened? (BTW, nice detail, Barbara, the keys... Good one!)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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I think that first phrase should be parallel park(ed).
Macho man, huh? Too much car for the little lady? Already your male protagonist is 'under my skin'. LOL
I can't wait to hear her story too! What the heck happened? (BTW, nice detail, Barbara, the keys... Good one!)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. Logan really is a good guy, just a little opinionated.
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:)) It was my pleasure, Barbara.
Comment from c_lucas
Logan will have his hands full when Mac wakes up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Logan will have his hands full when Mac wakes up. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
