Our Friend Michael Cahill
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Michael Cahill R.I.P."Prose or Poetry
31 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This was a very nice eulogy for Michael Cahill, who was a popular and important member of the Fanstory site. This Dahquain Plus plots your entire history with Michael in an abbreviated but appropriate way.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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This was a very nice eulogy for Michael Cahill, who was a popular and important member of the Fanstory site. This Dahquain Plus plots your entire history with Michael in an abbreviated but appropriate way.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Thanks for looking in on this and reviewing it. Popular and important about sums the guy up. He will be sorely missed.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I wish he'd told us that he hated to be called 'Mikey', he might have done and I missed it. I think I'll go and edit mine and give him his full name, I don't want him cringing as he peeps down to read what we've said about him! lol. This is such a lovely tribute to him, Jim, and I agree with you, he would have appreciated that little change, I know I prefer it that way. I enjoyed it, my friend, and so would he. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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I wish he'd told us that he hated to be called 'Mikey', he might have done and I missed it. I think I'll go and edit mine and give him his full name, I don't want him cringing as he peeps down to read what we've said about him! lol. This is such a lovely tribute to him, Jim, and I agree with you, he would have appreciated that little change, I know I prefer it that way. I enjoyed it, my friend, and so would he. Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Michael's dislike of the name Mikey was something he apparently he grew into. He mentioned it to a few individuals of whom I was one, buy a lot of people had no idea that he disliked it and he certainly had not always done so. Thank you for reviewing this.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for using this modified Dahquain to salute Michael Cahill. I did not know he was ill and happily congratulated him for being recognized as Poet of the Month in January. I especially enjoyed your pointing out his mischievousness. May he rest in peace- Joan
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Thank you for using this modified Dahquain to salute Michael Cahill. I did not know he was ill and happily congratulated him for being recognized as Poet of the Month in January. I especially enjoyed your pointing out his mischievousness. May he rest in peace- Joan
Comment Written 06-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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It was a shock to most of us, myself included. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this.
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello PANTYGYNT,
Nicely written four stanzas and a couplet. for this diverse poem of many types of poetry, I will tell you why? I had to look up these two types of poems you wrote, "A Dahquain Plus Valedictory & Biographical poems." First, very interesting image, "RIP" changed from the typical "Rest In Peace" to " Return If Possible." How different? Great image!! I love that you used his full name and not Mickey since he didn't like his nickname.
You use features of a unique rhyming pattern that uses repeating rhyme words (word refrains), such as came/same, bright/right, and game/came. You use enjambment in your stanzas well without a pause. Your poem seem also more free verse. Also, you used stressed and unstressed syllables. I believe the jest of this poem is, when you begin this poem, the language was already there before you started. There were many things that you described as a "No-No"; no yelling with upper case writing, but to be gentle in your writing. You tried to write and say in this poem, were done before. "Nothing new under the sun", a old biblical scripture. Great job....Great punctuations....not enough to just write, but with purpose and with a story..... end rhymes of the subsequent first lines (coo.) You did this! Very interesting poem with a great meaning about writing prose & poetry or just rhyming your lines (the couplet), nice iambic lines. Thanks. Happy Writing.....Nicely done.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Hello PANTYGYNT,
Nicely written four stanzas and a couplet. for this diverse poem of many types of poetry, I will tell you why? I had to look up these two types of poems you wrote, "A Dahquain Plus Valedictory & Biographical poems." First, very interesting image, "RIP" changed from the typical "Rest In Peace" to " Return If Possible." How different? Great image!! I love that you used his full name and not Mickey since he didn't like his nickname.
You use features of a unique rhyming pattern that uses repeating rhyme words (word refrains), such as came/same, bright/right, and game/came. You use enjambment in your stanzas well without a pause. Your poem seem also more free verse. Also, you used stressed and unstressed syllables. I believe the jest of this poem is, when you begin this poem, the language was already there before you started. There were many things that you described as a "No-No"; no yelling with upper case writing, but to be gentle in your writing. You tried to write and say in this poem, were done before. "Nothing new under the sun", a old biblical scripture. Great job....Great punctuations....not enough to just write, but with purpose and with a story..... end rhymes of the subsequent first lines (coo.) You did this! Very interesting poem with a great meaning about writing prose & poetry or just rhyming your lines (the couplet), nice iambic lines. Thanks. Happy Writing.....Nicely done.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for your detailed review of this poem and the six star grading. I always think that looking things up that you didn't know is great fun, and we are so lucky nowadays that it can be done in a few key strokes to the Internet.
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you for this beautifully written tribute to Michael in dahquain form. My favorite line was:
"but gentle be like fairy's spell."
I didn't really know him but he seemed to have a very well loved presence here. Perhaps he'll return.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Thank you for this beautifully written tribute to Michael in dahquain form. My favorite line was:
"but gentle be like fairy's spell."
I didn't really know him but he seemed to have a very well loved presence here. Perhaps he'll return.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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He did indeed. Many thanks for this appreciative review.
Comment from Gloria ....
I have read a few of the Dahquain form and am still trying to put a "reason" for it. I must admit I do like the repeating rhyme, but I'm guessing homonyms might work better. I do like what you have done by repeating the same rhyme from the first line in the last line. That lends a sense of completion to the poem.
Yep Mike decided after a period of time he didn't like to be called Mikey. I always respect people's wishes when it comes to their own name.
A lovely tribute to a fine man and excellent contribution to Yvonne's book dedicated to Michael.
Gloria
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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I have read a few of the Dahquain form and am still trying to put a "reason" for it. I must admit I do like the repeating rhyme, but I'm guessing homonyms might work better. I do like what you have done by repeating the same rhyme from the first line in the last line. That lends a sense of completion to the poem.
Yep Mike decided after a period of time he didn't like to be called Mikey. I always respect people's wishes when it comes to their own name.
A lovely tribute to a fine man and excellent contribution to Yvonne's book dedicated to Michael.
Gloria
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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I agree with you regarding the Dahquain - have I said that before? Just to be different could be an answer. I am glad you felt that some of my remedial treatment of the form was effective. It owes something to both the terza rhyma and the rubaiyat. I am surprised how many people did not realise that he did not like the diminutive of his name. I remembered his telling me but he does not seem to have told many. One reviewer said they had been told by him that he did like it. I guess one is allowed to change ones taste.
Many thanks for the review.
Comment from seaglass
Your post is so true. He was my mentor from my first go at it and his suggestions always gentle and encouraging. He was truly a Baby, a troubadour, a gentle teacher.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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Your post is so true. He was my mentor from my first go at it and his suggestions always gentle and encouraging. He was truly a Baby, a troubadour, a gentle teacher.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
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A great loss to the site indeed. Many thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment from ciliverde
Thank you for this tribute to our friend Michael Cahill who influenced many on this site with his humor and talent. He will indeed be sorely missed. I feel sad that I never knew he hated being called Mikey. Nonetheless, that diminutive never diminished my deep respect for him.
Carol
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Thank you for this tribute to our friend Michael Cahill who influenced many on this site with his humor and talent. He will indeed be sorely missed. I feel sad that I never knew he hated being called Mikey. Nonetheless, that diminutive never diminished my deep respect for him.
Carol
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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Six stars for this is very generous and probably has more to do with the nature of the content than than the quality of of the poetry. I was not fond of the original and was trying to improve upon it but those word refrains don't work for me. Anyway very many thanks for the review and the stars.
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Ah well, I feel a bit the same about mine. Let's see what you say :)
Comment from Mark Valentine
A nice tribute - I did not know Michael very well, but I certainly recognized and admired his talent.
Another form that I haven't come across before - my poetic universe is expanding just like the real one!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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A nice tribute - I did not know Michael very well, but I certainly recognized and admired his talent.
Another form that I haven't come across before - my poetic universe is expanding just like the real one!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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I can't say I like this form or the original Dahquain. Those word refrains never worked for me. I was trying to make it a bit better by forcing people to read it to the punctuation rather than like a lot of rhymed poetry, line by line. Thanks for reviewing it anyway.
Comment from aryr
What a wonderful tribute to Michael, that is all I ever knew him as. He offered great suggestions and tips in his review of my work. He was always honest in his words. I liked both your poem and your narrative. Well done. I agree with the R.I.P., he will be missed.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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What a wonderful tribute to Michael, that is all I ever knew him as. He offered great suggestions and tips in his review of my work. He was always honest in his words. I liked both your poem and your narrative. Well done. I agree with the R.I.P., he will be missed.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
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That was Mike all over. Thanks so much for your review.
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smile
