But I thought
Broken promises14 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a very good poem for the Under Ten competition. I think the meaning of your verse is poignant and apt. When a young person is disappointed in someone for the first time, it is devastating. Good write.
Melissa
  |
This is a very good poem for the Under Ten competition. I think the meaning of your verse is poignant and apt. When a young person is disappointed in someone for the first time, it is devastating. Good write.
Melissa
Comment Written 20-Dec-2018
Comment from Earl Corp
I actually had another takeaway from this poem. Forever sometimes ends quickly could also refer to an overdose or suicide, because when we're young forever is a long time. Good luck in the contest.
|
I actually had another takeaway from this poem. Forever sometimes ends quickly could also refer to an overdose or suicide, because when we're young forever is a long time. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2018
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon
Very, very good. An exact 'message' in a very small space exploring a sentiment that EVERYONE can relate to, regardless of age or background.
The casual use of words. It is a challenge - in my own family I tried so hard with my children to get them to use the word 'love' sparingly: once you love "toast" or "that shirt" there's little meaning to the word. I failed, of course, but I tried.
It is difficult to stand out in these contests, but perhaps the universality of your point will connect: I hope so.
I wish you well with this (well presented too)
cheers
phill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Hello Anon
Very, very good. An exact 'message' in a very small space exploring a sentiment that EVERYONE can relate to, regardless of age or background.
The casual use of words. It is a challenge - in my own family I tried so hard with my children to get them to use the word 'love' sparingly: once you love "toast" or "that shirt" there's little meaning to the word. I failed, of course, but I tried.
It is difficult to stand out in these contests, but perhaps the universality of your point will connect: I hope so.
I wish you well with this (well presented too)
cheers
phill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2018
Comment from Mary Alderete
I love this poem. Ah, the hard lessons of life and love. Reminds me of the line in Legends of the Fall movie: "Forever turned out to be too long."
Good luck with the contest.
 |
I love this poem. Ah, the hard lessons of life and love. Reminds me of the line in Legends of the Fall movie: "Forever turned out to be too long."
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2018