Short
Viewing comments for Chapter 84 "Pedestrian"Shorter stories
26 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Bill,
I wonder how well Mary was actually received when the news broke. Poor old Joseph.
these days, this is exactly how it would play out.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Hi Bill,
I wonder how well Mary was actually received when the news broke. Poor old Joseph.
these days, this is exactly how it would play out.
All the best
G
Comment Written 20-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2018
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Thsnks,G
Comment from Sugarray77
Bill, I was confused at first and then with the silly words, I knew it was a humorous write.... but I do take issue with portraying Mary in this irreverent manner. I truly do not see any humor here... just an attempt. Just my observation.
Melissa
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Bill, I was confused at first and then with the silly words, I knew it was a humorous write.... but I do take issue with portraying Mary in this irreverent manner. I truly do not see any humor here... just an attempt. Just my observation.
Melissa
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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It wasn?t meant to be humorous. The nurses represent the disrespect for the downtrodden and the innocent girl our disconnection with faith.
Comment from Spitfire
"somebody has been at this intersection and left a pedestrian." --what a great line.
Talk about revising the Bible to make it teen readable. This is quite clever.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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"somebody has been at this intersection and left a pedestrian." --what a great line.
Talk about revising the Bible to make it teen readable. This is quite clever.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Shari, for the posi5ive review. Bill
Comment from Miss Sherry
Again - great stuff. I love the take on this. I always felt sorry for Mary,she was so young and fragile, yet God chose her to mother His son. Your modern take on this just pleased me no end.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Again - great stuff. I love the take on this. I always felt sorry for Mary,she was so young and fragile, yet God chose her to mother His son. Your modern take on this just pleased me no end.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thank you, OP, for the upbeat review. Bill
Comment from lyenochka
Well, you sure put the Christmas story in a completely new light. Good thing there weren't any wisecracking nurses in the stable. That would probably make it even more uncomfortable. Well done with the 100 words.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Well, you sure put the Christmas story in a completely new light. Good thing there weren't any wisecracking nurses in the stable. That would probably make it even more uncomfortable. Well done with the 100 words.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thanks, lyenochka
Comment from nomi338
People often judge what they do not know or understand. People are often wrong in their assumptions. People will never change and that is why the world will be screwed up for the foreseeable future.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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People often judge what they do not know or understand. People are often wrong in their assumptions. People will never change and that is why the world will be screwed up for the foreseeable future.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thanks, nomi (I think)
Comment from Cass Carlton
Do you know, I have often wondered about how Mary coped with her situation once she became with child. Joseph was visited by an angel who told him to marry Mary, but what about everyone else? Did she suffer the scorn and censoring an unmarried pregnant woman would have experienced? The Bible doesn't say. Which if you ask me says an awful lot.Your brief piece shows in clear relief just how she must have been treated by some of her contemporaries. Well done cheers Cass
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Do you know, I have often wondered about how Mary coped with her situation once she became with child. Joseph was visited by an angel who told him to marry Mary, but what about everyone else? Did she suffer the scorn and censoring an unmarried pregnant woman would have experienced? The Bible doesn't say. Which if you ask me says an awful lot.Your brief piece shows in clear relief just how she must have been treated by some of her contemporaries. Well done cheers Cass
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Cass. Merry Christmas.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well done. I like the humor in it, and that Mary comes off as truly humble (poor/uneducated). And Scrooge fed his dog a piece of chicken. THAT did it for me... he has been redeemed! Anyone who is nice to doggies is a saint in my book. :)
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Well done. I like the humor in it, and that Mary comes off as truly humble (poor/uneducated). And Scrooge fed his dog a piece of chicken. THAT did it for me... he has been redeemed! Anyone who is nice to doggies is a saint in my book. :)
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Phyllis, for the nice review. You lost me on the second part. Merry Christmas.
Comment from Rob Caudle
You Do a great job in so few words. I am reminded of the song lyric what if god was one of us just a slob like one of us. A perfect tale for the Christmas season. I Love the use of pedestrian here. well done, you flash fiction guys have my total respect.
Rob
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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You Do a great job in so few words. I am reminded of the song lyric what if god was one of us just a slob like one of us. A perfect tale for the Christmas season. I Love the use of pedestrian here. well done, you flash fiction guys have my total respect.
Rob
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Rob, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from judiverse
This is quite a story, a redneck version of the birth of Christ. Hospital personnel should refrain from personal comments. They certainly see their share of illegitimate births. (That seems to be the majority in the county where I live.) I hope the angel told the staffers off. Reminds me of an episode from the TV series "House." You did great telling the story within the word count. judi
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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This is quite a story, a redneck version of the birth of Christ. Hospital personnel should refrain from personal comments. They certainly see their share of illegitimate births. (That seems to be the majority in the county where I live.) I hope the angel told the staffers off. Reminds me of an episode from the TV series "House." You did great telling the story within the word count. judi
Comment Written 19-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Judi.
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You're very welcome. judi