The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Safe Haven"A Novel
30 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. The more the story develops, the more there are reason to suspect everyone involved in this quest. When we trust too easily we can be fooled easily too.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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A very well-written chapter. The more the story develops, the more there are reason to suspect everyone involved in this quest. When we trust too easily we can be fooled easily too.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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I appreciate your review, Sandra, and your comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
>I read a statement the about adverbs and certain great writers who use them.
> Hemingway for 10,000 words only used eight adverbs while Stephen King used 325 foot 10,000 words.
> Tony you just used five adverbs in your whole writing. I think that's very impressive!
>Madame Durand was kind of sad and to find out that the journal was and where they headed back at the apartment. And the landlady wasn't worse for wearers to know what exactly happened upstairs in the apartment.
>landlady started off looking like she was a little slow but I think she's aware what's happening.
> On the other got the passports and other documents they can leave.
>I like Helen's character a lot and she is quite humorous and not stuck up with an attitude, but she is sarcastic at times.
>I enjoyed the interaction between the characters in your well documented and good grammar in writing the quotes.
> I really enjoyed sitting back and reading it without any hiccups or syntactical breaks and then jam it or the context of your writing.
> Thanks for sharing and caring and take care and have a good one Tony.
Alx
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Cheers, Tony;
>I read a statement the about adverbs and certain great writers who use them.
> Hemingway for 10,000 words only used eight adverbs while Stephen King used 325 foot 10,000 words.
> Tony you just used five adverbs in your whole writing. I think that's very impressive!
>Madame Durand was kind of sad and to find out that the journal was and where they headed back at the apartment. And the landlady wasn't worse for wearers to know what exactly happened upstairs in the apartment.
>landlady started off looking like she was a little slow but I think she's aware what's happening.
> On the other got the passports and other documents they can leave.
>I like Helen's character a lot and she is quite humorous and not stuck up with an attitude, but she is sarcastic at times.
>I enjoyed the interaction between the characters in your well documented and good grammar in writing the quotes.
> I really enjoyed sitting back and reading it without any hiccups or syntactical breaks and then jam it or the context of your writing.
> Thanks for sharing and caring and take care and have a good one Tony.
Alx
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Hi Alex. First of all, thank you for your fine and detailed review, and for awarding this chapter six stars. I read that statement about the use of adverbs, too. It was interesting to note how great a variation there was between established and well-recognised writers. I thought the message was that it is not so much a matter of avoiding the adverb, but in using it appropriately and wisely. A weak verb supported by an adverb is still a weak verb. Nonetheless, they are often over-used by beginning writers.
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You're very welcome, Tony. Yes I did find it fascinating that a weak Berbeer stilly reverb no matter if you have an adverb with it. I like your writing because it offers thinking and promotes it while you're reading it. It's not spelled out.
Good luck in your endeavors, Tony.
Alx
Comment from Adri7enne
Helen and Madeleine and Mme Biset... I had to keep going back to keep the characters straight. I've been off line for several days and have a lot of catching up to do. Trying to keep everybody straight in my head. So looks like we're taking this show on the road to England. Lol! Still with you, Tony. Hanging on for dear life. Well done!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Helen and Madeleine and Mme Biset... I had to keep going back to keep the characters straight. I've been off line for several days and have a lot of catching up to do. Trying to keep everybody straight in my head. So looks like we're taking this show on the road to England. Lol! Still with you, Tony. Hanging on for dear life. Well done!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Helen's landlady, Mme Madeleine Bisset was a new character introduced in this chapter - a very minor character in the overall scheme of things, though it was fun giving her a little time under the spotlight! I've been reading a bit about the development of character in stories recently and one of the chapters was about making minor characters real, not just cardboard cutouts.
Comment from Spitfire
I can tell you had great fun writing the dialogue with the sexual innuendoes. Good character build-up with Helen and Charles. They seen at odds when it comes to trusting Jeanne.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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I can tell you had great fun writing the dialogue with the sexual innuendoes. Good character build-up with Helen and Charles. They seen at odds when it comes to trusting Jeanne.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Shari. Yes, it was entertaining, putting together Madeleine Bisset's character! You are right - there does seem to be a hairline crack developing in the relationship between Charles and Helen, when it comes to their opinions of Mme Durand.
Comment from Lady Jane
"By flirting, you mean(?)" - is he questioning her? Or making a blanket statement? Wasn't sure, so I offered this edit suggestion.
Madeleine let out a squawk of laughter. "Oh, she's a tease, that one! Pleased to see me! I doubt it. Mind you, there used to be a time when I had tits like Mae West - but they've slipped a little now." She cupped her hands under her bra and hoisted her ample bosom. "See?" - brilliant writing and intro to this character's personality, LOL
"Dear(,) me!
Yes, what chance does he have with those two? Haha. The banter is great between Helen and her beau! The dialogue between characters was smooth, not choppy. The sleuthing portion of this series is well composed and realistic. The entire write was well presented and solid. Nothing to detract a star for ... Just clean, fun writing with great pacing. I am loving getting to know these characters. And, the landlady...now she's a hoot! haha.
Janelle
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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"By flirting, you mean(?)" - is he questioning her? Or making a blanket statement? Wasn't sure, so I offered this edit suggestion.
Madeleine let out a squawk of laughter. "Oh, she's a tease, that one! Pleased to see me! I doubt it. Mind you, there used to be a time when I had tits like Mae West - but they've slipped a little now." She cupped her hands under her bra and hoisted her ample bosom. "See?" - brilliant writing and intro to this character's personality, LOL
"Dear(,) me!
Yes, what chance does he have with those two? Haha. The banter is great between Helen and her beau! The dialogue between characters was smooth, not choppy. The sleuthing portion of this series is well composed and realistic. The entire write was well presented and solid. Nothing to detract a star for ... Just clean, fun writing with great pacing. I am loving getting to know these characters. And, the landlady...now she's a hoot! haha.
Janelle
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Yes, much better with that question mark - now incorporated. Thanks! Appreciate your comments and support. All the best, Tony
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed reading this chapter, Tony. I liked the quick thinking of a trial honeymoon in Bermuda. I also liked the idea of lying about the recovery of the journal. One never knows who to trust in situations like what you wrote. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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I enjoyed reading this chapter, Tony. I liked the quick thinking of a trial honeymoon in Bermuda. I also liked the idea of lying about the recovery of the journal. One never knows who to trust in situations like what you wrote. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Jan. Glad you are continuing to enjoy it. I think the general rule in these situations is to trust no-one! LOL
Comment from royowen
Madame Bisset is a delightful worldly character. And their adventures are becoming a little more convoluted, with some of your expressions quite Australian, but that suits me fine. But people are clever, they latch on, now, they are taking off for Bermuda, (they must be well off) with Madam Durand in tow. Well done Tony, blessings, Roy
Typo : The only one in the running, do you(?)
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Madame Bisset is a delightful worldly character. And their adventures are becoming a little more convoluted, with some of your expressions quite Australian, but that suits me fine. But people are clever, they latch on, now, they are taking off for Bermuda, (they must be well off) with Madam Durand in tow. Well done Tony, blessings, Roy
Typo : The only one in the running, do you(?)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Roy. I appreciate your keen eye, picking up the typo. They?re not actually going to Bermuda. That was a blind. The chapter ends with them heading for the Eurostar train to London.
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Heh heh, missed that one!
Comment from damommy
It seems Madame is very interested in where the journal is. Ma be TOO interested. It will interesting to see how things play out once they're back in England. Good chapter. Not too long. 8-)
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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It seems Madame is very interested in where the journal is. Ma be TOO interested. It will interesting to see how things play out once they're back in England. Good chapter. Not too long. 8-)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Yvonne. I think you might be right!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was absolutely NOT too long!! I was thoroughly enjoying this chapter. I loved Madeleine, what a wonderful character! I think Charles might be right about Jeanne, I don't trust her either. This is really coming together, Tony, there was loads of humour in this, as well as the serious side. Now they have the journal, perhaps some clue will come from it. Superb, my friend!! :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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That was absolutely NOT too long!! I was thoroughly enjoying this chapter. I loved Madeleine, what a wonderful character! I think Charles might be right about Jeanne, I don't trust her either. This is really coming together, Tony, there was loads of humour in this, as well as the serious side. Now they have the journal, perhaps some clue will come from it. Superb, my friend!! :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Lovely to get your review, Sandra, and thanks so much for the sixth star. Glad you enjoyed the humour. It was fun creating Helen?s landlady!
Comment from giraffmang
Another very nice instalment. The interlude with the landlady was very well handled and gave more depth to Helen's character.
She's probably just gone to powder her nose - need opening speech marks here.
Sometimes I have a sixth sense / Sometimes I think you have no sense - touche Helen...lol
You want this gentleman to think he's the only one in the running, do you. - maybe a question mark in here.
no doubt with dollar signs spinning around in his eyes - given that Charles is English maybe this should be pounds, or euros if in France?
"Yes, you know... 'In three hundred metres turn left onto Boulevard de Clichy. Turn now. I said left, you idiot..." - the quote neds to be closed off here inside the speech marks.
Yes, what chance indeed, Charles? lol nicely ended.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Another very nice instalment. The interlude with the landlady was very well handled and gave more depth to Helen's character.
She's probably just gone to powder her nose - need opening speech marks here.
Sometimes I have a sixth sense / Sometimes I think you have no sense - touche Helen...lol
You want this gentleman to think he's the only one in the running, do you. - maybe a question mark in here.
no doubt with dollar signs spinning around in his eyes - given that Charles is English maybe this should be pounds, or euros if in France?
"Yes, you know... 'In three hundred metres turn left onto Boulevard de Clichy. Turn now. I said left, you idiot..." - the quote neds to be closed off here inside the speech marks.
Yes, what chance indeed, Charles? lol nicely ended.
All the best
G
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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Thanks, G. I appreciate your sharp eye. I don't seem to be very good at spotting those speech mark errors - I keep making them! I've changed 'dollar signs' to 'euros'. as suggested. I'm not sure about it though. People are so familiar with the cartoon character dollar signs. I might re-write that bit. As always, a very helpful review. Appreciated! All the best, Tony