I Skip Among the Stars
A Quatrain with an ALMOST Chain Rhyme33 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
This is so delightful, Yvonne. It deserves six stars, but alas I am out this time of the week. It is a frolic that boggles the mind.
"The planets laugh at my audacity
in sailing 'round the heavens recklessly
while by my bed, the Sandman waits for me."
Bravo! my friend. Good job. Bob
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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This is so delightful, Yvonne. It deserves six stars, but alas I am out this time of the week. It is a frolic that boggles the mind.
"The planets laugh at my audacity
in sailing 'round the heavens recklessly
while by my bed, the Sandman waits for me."
Bravo! my friend. Good job. Bob
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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I'm so happy you like it. Thank you so much.
Comment from judiverse
I love your word choices in this--freedom flight, comet tail swooping, shooting asteroids. Space is really a happening place! "Xylophonic rings" is great. Lots of imagery to convey the images of space. I enjoyed the humanization of the moon smiling and the planets laughing. Excellent magical cosmic tour. Great work with the rhyme and flow. judi
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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I love your word choices in this--freedom flight, comet tail swooping, shooting asteroids. Space is really a happening place! "Xylophonic rings" is great. Lots of imagery to convey the images of space. I enjoyed the humanization of the moon smiling and the planets laughing. Excellent magical cosmic tour. Great work with the rhyme and flow. judi
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Thank you, Judi. I'm happy you like it.
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You're welcome. Great poem. judi.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Okay, I see you've braved a daring feat,
a challenge many poets couldn't meet,
and as you always do, you have excelled -
penned verse that's just extraordinary treat!
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Okay, I see you've braved a daring feat,
a challenge many poets couldn't meet,
and as you always do, you have excelled -
penned verse that's just extraordinary treat!
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Awww, thank you so much, Dawn. I really appreciate that.
Comment from victor 66
I think your poem "Skip Among the Stars" , that's A Quatrain with an ALMOST Chain Rhyme, is quite charming. Much like stopping to smell the roses, appreciating the night sky is incredibly enjoyable. Also, thank you for the lesson about the different moons.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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I think your poem "Skip Among the Stars" , that's A Quatrain with an ALMOST Chain Rhyme, is quite charming. Much like stopping to smell the roses, appreciating the night sky is incredibly enjoyable. Also, thank you for the lesson about the different moons.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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I'm happy you like that. Actually, it was Jannypan that pointed out the Hunter's moon tonight.
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Well, I don't always pay attention. So I'm still giving you credit for enlightening me on "A Hunter's Moon". And, you are welcome.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Damommy;
> You miraculously achieve writing the proper rhyming format and to the rhythmic iambic pentameter emjambment or context That flowed smoothly throughout the writingWithout so much of a pickup or syntactical break in the meaning and the understanding of your conceptual theme.
> I enjoyed being whisked away into the unknown and that part of the universe that illusively is just out of reach, but still insight!
>Thank you for sharing this, Damommy, And take care and have a good one especially there are days that you deserve it.
Alx
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Cheers, Damommy;
> You miraculously achieve writing the proper rhyming format and to the rhythmic iambic pentameter emjambment or context That flowed smoothly throughout the writingWithout so much of a pickup or syntactical break in the meaning and the understanding of your conceptual theme.
> I enjoyed being whisked away into the unknown and that part of the universe that illusively is just out of reach, but still insight!
>Thank you for sharing this, Damommy, And take care and have a good one especially there are days that you deserve it.
Alx
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Thank you for this. However, it's been pointed out to me that it isn't a true chain rhyme. As usual, I got something wrong. I'm so happy you enjoyed the trip. 8-)
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I can see we got something wrong I'll go back and look as I enjoyed it immensely.
Alx
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It wasn't a true chain rhyme, but I call it an ALMOST chain rhyme. I'm going to leave it as it is for now.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I haven't seen anything from you for a while. It's good to see the Queen of Poetry is still blessing us with her poetry. The second stanza is mesmerizing. Your genius really shines through. This need to be sent to a publisher.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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I haven't seen anything from you for a while. It's good to see the Queen of Poetry is still blessing us with her poetry. The second stanza is mesmerizing. Your genius really shines through. This need to be sent to a publisher.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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My goodness, that's quite a compliment. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you like it.
Comment from harmony13
Excellent Poem! The author's words are delightful, creative and
interesting. The reader pondered on the word of this poem.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the theme and
words of this poem.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Excellent Poem! The author's words are delightful, creative and
interesting. The reader pondered on the word of this poem.
The artwork is perfect and compliments both the theme and
words of this poem.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Thank you. I appreciate that.
Comment from June Sargent
Well, you certainly met this challenge with a well crafted quartrain. I haven't tried one with a chain rhyme. As usual, you make it seem so easy! Lovely fantasy ride to moon and back. Great artwork as well. I enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Well, you certainly met this challenge with a well crafted quartrain. I haven't tried one with a chain rhyme. As usual, you make it seem so easy! Lovely fantasy ride to moon and back. Great artwork as well. I enjoyed this.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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I'm so glad you did. Thank you for this wonderful review.
Comment from Pantygynt
Well yes but this is not quite as your #4) chain rhyme describes it. The First stanza is fine but it defines 'b' as 'cap', therefore your second stanza's first two and last lines should rhyme with 'cap'
**************clap 'b'
**************tap 'b'
**************the new one 'c'
**************slap 'b'
And similarly in subsequent stanzas. The Chain is created by the third lines rhyme being utilised in the next stanza.
The grading is for the poem as it stands. As an example of chain rhyme it ought to be '4' :((
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Well yes but this is not quite as your #4) chain rhyme describes it. The First stanza is fine but it defines 'b' as 'cap', therefore your second stanza's first two and last lines should rhyme with 'cap'
**************clap 'b'
**************tap 'b'
**************the new one 'c'
**************slap 'b'
And similarly in subsequent stanzas. The Chain is created by the third lines rhyme being utilised in the next stanza.
The grading is for the poem as it stands. As an example of chain rhyme it ought to be '4' :((
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Thanks for being honest.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written quatrain poem with chain rhyme and a great fantasy topic about skipping among the stars until it is time to sleep skipping from one great planet to the next.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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A very well-written quatrain poem with chain rhyme and a great fantasy topic about skipping among the stars until it is time to sleep skipping from one great planet to the next.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2018
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Thank you. I appreciate that.
