Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Bear Who Haunted Garnet"Free verse poems
30 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Your free verse poem was like a well woven short story full of wonderful imagery. She sounds more intriguing and scary than a real ghost. Did she just injure the drunk? Seems like she's just getting ready to hibernate. How do bears do surive pregnancy while hibernating? Great storytelling in verse!
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
  |
Your free verse poem was like a well woven short story full of wonderful imagery. She sounds more intriguing and scary than a real ghost. Did she just injure the drunk? Seems like she's just getting ready to hibernate. How do bears do surive pregnancy while hibernating? Great storytelling in verse!
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
-
I think you're right, a giant grizzly would be more scary than a ghost! The mothers have their babies in the middle of their hibernation and the babies spend their first weeks (2-3 months maybe) in the den with mama :))
Carol
Comment from F. Wehr3
Really great work, Carol. I enjoyed this story and the depth of your words used to describe it. It brought to life those old mining towns and vivid through the eyes of the bear. Well done!
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
 |
Really great work, Carol. I enjoyed this story and the depth of your words used to describe it. It brought to life those old mining towns and vivid through the eyes of the bear. Well done!
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
-
Thank you so much, Russell! Much appreciated :))
Carol
Comment from royowen
Loved this Carol, told from the POV of the old bear. A Stirling job, reads almost like a short excerpt from tales of the wilderness. It's an excellent piece, scribed in imagery befitting the story, I found it most enjoyable. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
|
Loved this Carol, told from the POV of the old bear. A Stirling job, reads almost like a short excerpt from tales of the wilderness. It's an excellent piece, scribed in imagery befitting the story, I found it most enjoyable. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
-
Many thanks, Roy, I do appreciate your support. Yes, it is a story, or a scrap of a story, in a poem.
Carol
-
Well done
Comment from Impromptu Scribe
This is a beautiful depiction of the wild on the one hand (with its clearly acknowledged pecking order): 'She'd seen the wolves scatter like starlings from their carcass when she roared, and they waited, circling and howling while she tore into the meat'...and competing domesticity on the other: 'Close ahead the town glowed like coals in the almost-night. Cooking-smoke scent drifted, and a dull buzz of voices emerged through silence'. Ultimately, we are shown that the sovereignty of the wild prevails, if and when given some space from the rampage of urbanisation. I love the choice of words to portray the bear's temperament : 'ambled down...shuffled with soft footfalls...snout snuffing the mead of fresh decay...sensed the long sleep coming and the tiny cubs already growing in her belly...she eluded even the best hunters....she'd grown wise to the ways of men...small eyes squinting into the night. Her nose caught a scent...lumbered back into the pines, with that peculiar shuffling gait that grizzlies have...' So visual and synonymous with the species: unhurried, unruffled, unaware of her own formidable strength, seemingly slow until challenged, a witness to changing times but ultimately a survivor. I also love the 'man-made' perceptions and accounts of her unseen nocturnal visits, no doubt embellished by alcohol-fuelled story telling around a camp fire (she is after all a legend in the making): ' The miners had seen her paw-prints, big as dinner plates...claw marks dug deep into damp soil...slabs of bark torn off the trunks of fir trees...whiskey-soaked voices whispered tales about a giant bear - the grizzly who haunted their tiny town'. Ultimately, I see this poem as a true celebration of survival, of the fittest no less. The bear, despite all challenges to its habitat and food source outlives and outsmarts the majority of inhabitants in Garnet, who due to changing economic circumstances, irrelevant in nature, have had to move on or die a slow painful death. The poem is positively brimming with sensory delights that kindle all five senses and more: 'soft footfalls crackling in yellow leaves....felt in her bones the lowering light of fall, the snow that would soon pelt down in smothering drifts...clouds blew around her, like scudding sea foam....she knew the taste of their chickens; the aromatic garbage tossed carelessly behind saloons....' Stunning imagery skilfully deployed in a masterful fashion. Good luck in the contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
|
This is a beautiful depiction of the wild on the one hand (with its clearly acknowledged pecking order): 'She'd seen the wolves scatter like starlings from their carcass when she roared, and they waited, circling and howling while she tore into the meat'...and competing domesticity on the other: 'Close ahead the town glowed like coals in the almost-night. Cooking-smoke scent drifted, and a dull buzz of voices emerged through silence'. Ultimately, we are shown that the sovereignty of the wild prevails, if and when given some space from the rampage of urbanisation. I love the choice of words to portray the bear's temperament : 'ambled down...shuffled with soft footfalls...snout snuffing the mead of fresh decay...sensed the long sleep coming and the tiny cubs already growing in her belly...she eluded even the best hunters....she'd grown wise to the ways of men...small eyes squinting into the night. Her nose caught a scent...lumbered back into the pines, with that peculiar shuffling gait that grizzlies have...' So visual and synonymous with the species: unhurried, unruffled, unaware of her own formidable strength, seemingly slow until challenged, a witness to changing times but ultimately a survivor. I also love the 'man-made' perceptions and accounts of her unseen nocturnal visits, no doubt embellished by alcohol-fuelled story telling around a camp fire (she is after all a legend in the making): ' The miners had seen her paw-prints, big as dinner plates...claw marks dug deep into damp soil...slabs of bark torn off the trunks of fir trees...whiskey-soaked voices whispered tales about a giant bear - the grizzly who haunted their tiny town'. Ultimately, I see this poem as a true celebration of survival, of the fittest no less. The bear, despite all challenges to its habitat and food source outlives and outsmarts the majority of inhabitants in Garnet, who due to changing economic circumstances, irrelevant in nature, have had to move on or die a slow painful death. The poem is positively brimming with sensory delights that kindle all five senses and more: 'soft footfalls crackling in yellow leaves....felt in her bones the lowering light of fall, the snow that would soon pelt down in smothering drifts...clouds blew around her, like scudding sea foam....she knew the taste of their chickens; the aromatic garbage tossed carelessly behind saloons....' Stunning imagery skilfully deployed in a masterful fashion. Good luck in the contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
-
Wow, thank you so much for this detailed review, I really appreciate you taking the time to do this - and your very kind comments about my poem. I am so happy that you liked it! Thanks again :))
Carol
-
Hi Carol, you are very welcome :) I felt that your poem warranted the attention that it so richly deserves. Thankyou so much for your Reviewer nomination. Much appreciated. Reading your poem was a gift in itself. Best wishes.
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
What a beautiful poem that combines the deep history of an old town with the legends of the people, the gold rush, saloons, and the bear. I loved your description of her roaming.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
|
What a beautiful poem that combines the deep history of an old town with the legends of the people, the gold rush, saloons, and the bear. I loved your description of her roaming.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
-
I enjoyed writing about the bear, and her easy amble through the forest. Thank you so much for the read and review!
Carol
Comment from damommy
This is beautifully written with great imagery. It has a slow way of pulling the reader into the story before they realize it. The pace of the story was much like the bear, moving slowly about, checking things out. Also, good notes on the history of the place.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
|
This is beautifully written with great imagery. It has a slow way of pulling the reader into the story before they realize it. The pace of the story was much like the bear, moving slowly about, checking things out. Also, good notes on the history of the place.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
-
Thanks so much :))
Carol
Comment from Y. M. Roger
What a wonderful write -- I have a tear in my eye (and I am not joking)! :) If I had six stars left, you would have them, but you'll have to settle for a virtual six. :( :( You have a easy way about your writing, Carol, that brings the reader ever-so-gently into your atmosphere and fills them with visions and emotions that heretofore had not existed....thank you! :) :) The author notes were a nice touch, but the bear will forever be with a small part of me now -- great job! ;) :) Yvette
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
|
What a wonderful write -- I have a tear in my eye (and I am not joking)! :) If I had six stars left, you would have them, but you'll have to settle for a virtual six. :( :( You have a easy way about your writing, Carol, that brings the reader ever-so-gently into your atmosphere and fills them with visions and emotions that heretofore had not existed....thank you! :) :) The author notes were a nice touch, but the bear will forever be with a small part of me now -- great job! ;) :) Yvette
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
-
Wow, thank you Yvette! Sometimes I wonder if the words are too plain, but people seem to like it...
I think that bear will be a part of me too. I made sure that she would not be hurt and she only gave that old drunk a scratch!
Thanks again, I appreciate your support!
Carol
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Another excellent poem.
Her belly full from recent feeding,
she was content.
She'd seen the wolves scatter
like starlings from their carcass
when she roared, and they
waited, circling and howling
while she tore into the meat.
Was this a bear or a pig?
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
|
Another excellent poem.
Her belly full from recent feeding,
she was content.
She'd seen the wolves scatter
like starlings from their carcass
when she roared, and they
waited, circling and howling
while she tore into the meat.
Was this a bear or a pig?
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
-
Lol, people used to say that bears were related to pigs but of course they're not. They do taste slightly similar, my dad is a hunter and years ago he shot a bear and had sausage made out of it. He also told me about a time he was going after a bear - it climbed up a tree and was hugging the tree looking down at him. He said it was so cute he couldn't shoot it... :))
Carol
Comment from nancy_e_davis
There is a spot called Garnet Hill just west of my place on the mountain. You can pick up Garnets after a heavy rain. This is a sad story my friend. Made me feel sorry for the aged bear. It seems there was always more saloons than houses in the gold mine towns of the west. Good story. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
|
There is a spot called Garnet Hill just west of my place on the mountain. You can pick up Garnets after a heavy rain. This is a sad story my friend. Made me feel sorry for the aged bear. It seems there was always more saloons than houses in the gold mine towns of the west. Good story. Nancy:)
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
-
The bear has had a good life, she's old and smart, the hunters will never catch her :))
I remember one summer I spent in Red Lodge, MT, there were so many saloons on main street! Every other building was a bar.
Thanks, Nancy :))
Carol
Comment from LIJ Red
Some of the best westerns were about rogue grizzlies, and Lord Grizzly (the best telling of the Revenant thing) was one of my first books...excellent story in free verse, especially the images...
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
|
Some of the best westerns were about rogue grizzlies, and Lord Grizzly (the best telling of the Revenant thing) was one of my first books...excellent story in free verse, especially the images...
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2018
-
My dad gave me a book about grizzly bears, written by an old hunter/trapper guy many years ago. I learned a lot about them, although I preferred the non-hunting parts the most.
Carol