What Not to Be
Watching My Dad19 total reviews
Comment from zanya
Sooo sad but unfortunately a reality of childrens' lives every day in the times we live in - life hurts and hurts so much more when one is a child and doesn't really understand adult issues-well done in this poetic portrayal
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Sooo sad but unfortunately a reality of childrens' lives every day in the times we live in - life hurts and hurts so much more when one is a child and doesn't really understand adult issues-well done in this poetic portrayal
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from Hugh McDowell
A sad story that is all too common these days. The real victims are the children, and no matter what is said, they often feel they are to blame for their parents splitting up or leaving. Very good pacing and flow. Rhyming very good also. Hugh
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A sad story that is all too common these days. The real victims are the children, and no matter what is said, they often feel they are to blame for their parents splitting up or leaving. Very good pacing and flow. Rhyming very good also. Hugh
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from Kelly Grim
Oh this just left me feeling so sad! I sure hope he gets through.... and that he has learned what not to be! A sad reality for so so so many children... breaks one's heart! Really good title. Good meter and rhyme. Is Bubby his brother? I think you achieved your desired outcome here. Well done!
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Oh this just left me feeling so sad! I sure hope he gets through.... and that he has learned what not to be! A sad reality for so so so many children... breaks one's heart! Really good title. Good meter and rhyme. Is Bubby his brother? I think you achieved your desired outcome here. Well done!
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from Debbie Pope
This poem is such a blessing. I love that you portray such a hard life moment through the eyes of a child. Why do so many people forget the children? There is hope in your poem though. These children have a life still, and they know how to do it better. This is a "sad tale," but it is not the end.
I love your poem. Thank you.
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This poem is such a blessing. I love that you portray such a hard life moment through the eyes of a child. Why do so many people forget the children? There is hope in your poem though. These children have a life still, and they know how to do it better. This is a "sad tale," but it is not the end.
I love your poem. Thank you.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written sad children's poem about parents that seem to be out of control of their emotions and seem that they put their children's lives and futures on the line for their bad choices they made in their lives.
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A very well-written sad children's poem about parents that seem to be out of control of their emotions and seem that they put their children's lives and futures on the line for their bad choices they made in their lives.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from WildWithWords
I'm not so sure that I'd call this a children's poem, but it surely is about them.
Such a poignant message delivered through the mouths of babes. It's scary what some families are put through by selfish parents (both sexes) who think of nothing but themselves. I'm so fortunate that I come from a long line of unbroken families who show unconditional love to each other always.
Wouldn't want to stand in their shoes for 2 minutes.
You've portrayed the innocent viewpoints of kids very well in this. It's verses like the last two here that could teach many parents the right way to handle things.
Good luck.
Bill (WildWithWords)
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I'm not so sure that I'd call this a children's poem, but it surely is about them.
Such a poignant message delivered through the mouths of babes. It's scary what some families are put through by selfish parents (both sexes) who think of nothing but themselves. I'm so fortunate that I come from a long line of unbroken families who show unconditional love to each other always.
Wouldn't want to stand in their shoes for 2 minutes.
You've portrayed the innocent viewpoints of kids very well in this. It's verses like the last two here that could teach many parents the right way to handle things.
Good luck.
Bill (WildWithWords)
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from Boogienights
This poem is very well written, with excellent rhyming and with a subject that I'm sure many kids deal with. I think though, just my opinion, is that poems for children should deal with happy subjects . It does a great job of addressing a serious subject from a childs perspective, I just wonder if because there is so much unhappiness in the world already, that kids need to read about it in a poem or book. Other then that, I think the poem is perfect.
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This poem is very well written, with excellent rhyming and with a subject that I'm sure many kids deal with. I think though, just my opinion, is that poems for children should deal with happy subjects . It does a great job of addressing a serious subject from a childs perspective, I just wonder if because there is so much unhappiness in the world already, that kids need to read about it in a poem or book. Other then that, I think the poem is perfect.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from Mary Hollingsworth
You know writer I love your technique of describing a breakup drom a childs perspective. You know although pain has no empathy becuse everyone. Involved suffers but Ithe children REALLY feel the deeoesr impact. Mainly because they are confused and feel that its their fault. I love your choice of colors the bright yellow background and the red letters. The picture of the 2 kids walking together teamed up as their own SUPPORT group. Sharing their stories. Most accommodating for this piece.
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You know writer I love your technique of describing a breakup drom a childs perspective. You know although pain has no empathy becuse everyone. Involved suffers but Ithe children REALLY feel the deeoesr impact. Mainly because they are confused and feel that its their fault. I love your choice of colors the bright yellow background and the red letters. The picture of the 2 kids walking together teamed up as their own SUPPORT group. Sharing their stories. Most accommodating for this piece.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
Comment from Taylor W.
You really struck a chord in my heart on this one. It's always difficult for a child to have parents that are constantly fighting. It's even more difficult when one of them isn't in the picture on a regular basis. I can definitely relate to both. This was sad, but I appreciate the honesty. Sometimes, we do just get through and maintain and survive. It's all apart of the process. Thanks for taking the time to share this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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You really struck a chord in my heart on this one. It's always difficult for a child to have parents that are constantly fighting. It's even more difficult when one of them isn't in the picture on a regular basis. I can definitely relate to both. This was sad, but I appreciate the honesty. Sometimes, we do just get through and maintain and survive. It's all apart of the process. Thanks for taking the time to share this.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
