Postponed introduction 101 words
Jadyn has second thoughts.18 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written flash fiction. When we are grown up and we know we are not doing what we were taught to do, we feel reluctant to meet with our parents who will notice whatever is wrong in your life.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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A very well-written flash fiction. When we are grown up and we know we are not doing what we were taught to do, we feel reluctant to meet with our parents who will notice whatever is wrong in your life.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Spitfire
Spilled garbage, peeling stucco, used syringes on the floor.
dilapidated building, soiled sheet clothed the window. Sordid details of the life her real mother had. Good decision not to seek her out. An excellent entry. Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Spilled garbage, peeling stucco, used syringes on the floor.
dilapidated building, soiled sheet clothed the window. Sordid details of the life her real mother had. Good decision not to seek her out. An excellent entry. Good luck.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Thanks, Shari. Hope sll is well eith you and Frank.
Comment from cajunjoe
A story that could well be very true in today's world, especially in Los Angeles , from what I have heard. It is good fiction because it feel real and that is good and a good entry for a contest.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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A story that could well be very true in today's world, especially in Los Angeles , from what I have heard. It is good fiction because it feel real and that is good and a good entry for a contest.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thank you for reviewing.
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welcome
Comment from Jacqueline O.
I loved everything about this! For one thing, your description was exquisite, each word carefully chosen for maximum impact, and I got an immediate sense of time, place, and character. The narrator was compelling and sympathetic, and I found myself invested in her outcome. But by far my favorite part was the last line- there's nothing I love more than literary irony, and this delivered perfectly! It was a completely unexpected outcome and I read it twice just for the joy of it. Thanks so much for sharing- I hope to encounter more of your work soon!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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I loved everything about this! For one thing, your description was exquisite, each word carefully chosen for maximum impact, and I got an immediate sense of time, place, and character. The narrator was compelling and sympathetic, and I found myself invested in her outcome. But by far my favorite part was the last line- there's nothing I love more than literary irony, and this delivered perfectly! It was a completely unexpected outcome and I read it twice just for the joy of it. Thanks so much for sharing- I hope to encounter more of your work soon!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much for the outstanding review and the bonus star. I don't think I have ever run into you on this site. Haven't been on much in the last few months.. Very busy, trying to promote my book. That and family matters are taking precedence right now.
Thanks for becoming a fan.
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
This is the best 100 word flash fiction I have read--ever. Incredible use of images, your protagonist and conflict are crystal clear and the picture is spot on. Wish I had a six left!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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This is the best 100 word flash fiction I have read--ever. Incredible use of images, your protagonist and conflict are crystal clear and the picture is spot on. Wish I had a six left!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thanks for the great review.
Comment from Raul1
Nice. A story that talks about a building and someone's life. This person is not up for meeting his mother. Something must have happened between them. I think it's how the story is. I don't know. Interesting story.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Nice. A story that talks about a building and someone's life. This person is not up for meeting his mother. Something must have happened between them. I think it's how the story is. I don't know. Interesting story.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thanks for reviewing. it is about a girl who thought she wanted to meet her birth-mother.
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You're welcome! I understand now, thanks for sharing your story!
Comment from kiwijenny
I thought this was about someone going to meet a birth parent? Seeing the dilapidation decided to try it another day
Well penned flash fiction good use of 100 words
God bless
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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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I thought this was about someone going to meet a birth parent? Seeing the dilapidation decided to try it another day
Well penned flash fiction good use of 100 words
God bless
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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You got it. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I wasn't expecting the ending. You started out by telling a story of hope and what was possible and ended on a sad note. Unfortunately, this is too often true. Only American movies have happy endings. Europeans know better.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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I wasn't expecting the ending. You started out by telling a story of hope and what was possible and ended on a sad note. Unfortunately, this is too often true. Only American movies have happy endings. Europeans know better.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Ha ha. Thanks for reviewing.