In The Olden Days
Acrostic Poetry Contest Entry61 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Idamarty, it's good to see you in print again. I enjoyed reading your poem and traveling down memory lane with you. I, too, have some of those same memories.
I especially liked:
Endless hours of household chores, but I never heard her complain,
(Your poem, and the line above, reminded me of my own grandmother. Just sharing here ... every Sunday, she prepared dinner for her four children and their spouses, her 13 grandchildren, and her sister-in-law, Aunt Kitty. Ida, I don't know how she did it. These were the days before air-conditioning or microwaves, and pealed or frozen vegetables. There was always a roast with all the trimmings, and leftovers for Aunt Kitty who lived alone, and leftovers for all of her children to take home to help them get through the week. My grandfather did help. He pealed the endless potatoes and all the other veggies. I just did the math 24 people for dinner every single Sunday. Amazing. The grandchildren played hard, and I'm sure she had a lot of tidying up to do as well as mountains of dishes. This was the 1950's - 1960's. There was no dishwasher.)
Silky rhyming. Good acrostic format - smooth reading from line to line. Perfect complementary artwork choice. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
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Hello Idamarty, it's good to see you in print again. I enjoyed reading your poem and traveling down memory lane with you. I, too, have some of those same memories.
I especially liked:
Endless hours of household chores, but I never heard her complain,
(Your poem, and the line above, reminded me of my own grandmother. Just sharing here ... every Sunday, she prepared dinner for her four children and their spouses, her 13 grandchildren, and her sister-in-law, Aunt Kitty. Ida, I don't know how she did it. These were the days before air-conditioning or microwaves, and pealed or frozen vegetables. There was always a roast with all the trimmings, and leftovers for Aunt Kitty who lived alone, and leftovers for all of her children to take home to help them get through the week. My grandfather did help. He pealed the endless potatoes and all the other veggies. I just did the math 24 people for dinner every single Sunday. Amazing. The grandchildren played hard, and I'm sure she had a lot of tidying up to do as well as mountains of dishes. This was the 1950's - 1960's. There was no dishwasher.)
Silky rhyming. Good acrostic format - smooth reading from line to line. Perfect complementary artwork choice. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Idamarty: I honor your spirit and your family who lived on the land.
Our family also honored the land and helped people in the community.
My grandfather took in teens to learn how to farm and be a carpenter.
Seems like people loved to rest in the chair after all the chores, cleaning
and cooking. They always loved to have family near by and share garden
harvest. Your poem reminds me of my family. Enjoy FS. flylikeaneagle
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Idamarty: I honor your spirit and your family who lived on the land.
Our family also honored the land and helped people in the community.
My grandfather took in teens to learn how to farm and be a carpenter.
Seems like people loved to rest in the chair after all the chores, cleaning
and cooking. They always loved to have family near by and share garden
harvest. Your poem reminds me of my family. Enjoy FS. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hi, lovely acrostic, it reads so well with your great sense of rhythm. Memory is a strange thing. I have relatives in England who lived through the second World War and they talk quite fondly of the times in the bomb shelters, of the camaraderie of the people they were with. They talk about it as if it was a great time. Strange. There are always winners and losers.
You are so fond of her in this poem and I really loved that. Good publishing choices with that great picture, too. I noticed no errors and this is a work I would recommend to other readers for review, cheers, Ana.
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Hi, lovely acrostic, it reads so well with your great sense of rhythm. Memory is a strange thing. I have relatives in England who lived through the second World War and they talk quite fondly of the times in the bomb shelters, of the camaraderie of the people they were with. They talk about it as if it was a great time. Strange. There are always winners and losers.
You are so fond of her in this poem and I really loved that. Good publishing choices with that great picture, too. I noticed no errors and this is a work I would recommend to other readers for review, cheers, Ana.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, bring back the good old days, even though they were hard and now these chores are more shared these days are a lot tougher in nearly every other way, a wonderful Acrostic, best wishes for your competition****kahpot
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Excellent, bring back the good old days, even though they were hard and now these chores are more shared these days are a lot tougher in nearly every other way, a wonderful Acrostic, best wishes for your competition****kahpot
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from Lady Jane
What an amazing acrostic with intentional rhyme that didn't feel forced or choppy. The story within the walls of this fine acrostic is nostalgic and precious. I found no errors. Just a smooth, well presented, lovely poetic masterpiece. I love that she wore a bun...my grandmother did, too. And, the rocking chair in the image...we had one similar to it. Well done, writer. Good luck in the contest.
Janelle
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What an amazing acrostic with intentional rhyme that didn't feel forced or choppy. The story within the walls of this fine acrostic is nostalgic and precious. I found no errors. Just a smooth, well presented, lovely poetic masterpiece. I love that she wore a bun...my grandmother did, too. And, the rocking chair in the image...we had one similar to it. Well done, writer. Good luck in the contest.
Janelle
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from Janet Foor
A lovely nostalgic poem. I could see my grandmother in her rocking chair and the blessings of visit to her house each Sunday with all my cousin around.
A thoughtful piece.
Well done
Janet
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A lovely nostalgic poem. I could see my grandmother in her rocking chair and the blessings of visit to her house each Sunday with all my cousin around.
A thoughtful piece.
Well done
Janet
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from Ben Colder
A well written poem and so heart filled moments. It brings memories as when a boy so long ago. Thanks for sharing. The photo really enhances. I find no mistakes.
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A well written poem and so heart filled moments. It brings memories as when a boy so long ago. Thanks for sharing. The photo really enhances. I find no mistakes.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
I love the story in this well written acrostic. The sentiment made me feel quite emotional. You have made me look back to the past with your lovely poem. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
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I love the story in this well written acrostic. The sentiment made me feel quite emotional. You have made me look back to the past with your lovely poem. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from Shanbreen
This is a quaint acrostic poem that transfers you to bygone days. It rhymes well and I like how you personify the making of memories:
And all it takes is for eyes to close to remember moments you made.
Just one tiny punctuation concern -- do you think a comma after "when" in the following line would help?
As it reads, it trips on itself.
Days were hard way back when but then with her you'd never know.
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This is a quaint acrostic poem that transfers you to bygone days. It rhymes well and I like how you personify the making of memories:
And all it takes is for eyes to close to remember moments you made.
Just one tiny punctuation concern -- do you think a comma after "when" in the following line would help?
As it reads, it trips on itself.
Days were hard way back when but then with her you'd never know.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Idamarty;
> I read your interesting profile and your interesting ancestry. I did not know yours is the largest indigenous ethnic group north of the Rio Grande. And that normally Ojibwe or Chippewa nation is quite massive. A very proud and honorable integrity type of people.
>I really enjoyed your writing as it was so heartwarming and I felt a family feeling that reminded me of my own grandmother in many ways.
>You with and creative imagery and metaphorical inventiveness is surely astounding in this writing I pictured everything so clearly.
>I may have located some punctuation issues that may be addressed?
>(Line 7) comma after "then" and before " but".
>(Line 8) Comma after "when"
>(next to the last line) comma after "days"
>(last line) comma after "days" before "when"
>Besides the fact that the rhythmic meter wasn't consistent did not really much matter to the fluidity of your enjambment which increasingly was easy to understand and to follow and also help the conceptual theme of your writing.
>Thank you so much for sharing this, Idamarty, and may you have the best of luck in the contest and take care and have a good one especially with all those that love you dearly.
Alx
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Cheers, Idamarty;
> I read your interesting profile and your interesting ancestry. I did not know yours is the largest indigenous ethnic group north of the Rio Grande. And that normally Ojibwe or Chippewa nation is quite massive. A very proud and honorable integrity type of people.
>I really enjoyed your writing as it was so heartwarming and I felt a family feeling that reminded me of my own grandmother in many ways.
>You with and creative imagery and metaphorical inventiveness is surely astounding in this writing I pictured everything so clearly.
>I may have located some punctuation issues that may be addressed?
>(Line 7) comma after "then" and before " but".
>(Line 8) Comma after "when"
>(next to the last line) comma after "days"
>(last line) comma after "days" before "when"
>Besides the fact that the rhythmic meter wasn't consistent did not really much matter to the fluidity of your enjambment which increasingly was easy to understand and to follow and also help the conceptual theme of your writing.
>Thank you so much for sharing this, Idamarty, and may you have the best of luck in the contest and take care and have a good one especially with all those that love you dearly.
Alx
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
