Reviews from

The World Needs to be Saved

Man has to make the world a better place to live in.

28 total reviews 
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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Good entry into the contest, Raul. I enjoyed reading it. Your picture pairs nicely with your well=thought out work. You make some valid points. Best wishes. Jan

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2018
    Thank you!
Comment from tfawcus
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I feel sure that these sentiments are widely shared by the majority of people across all nations, creeds and ethnicity. It seems as though it should be so simple, but we continue to walk the tightrope.

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
    Thank you!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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You fulfilled the brief with your warm and uplifting write, using all the words with a sense of calm and healing, we need to make our world a better place to dwell in, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
    Thank you!
Comment from kahpot
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This short work sends a wonderful message to the readers and is well written in the required prompts of this contest, very well done, with great artwork and best wishes****kahpot

 Comment Written 06-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
    Thank you!
Comment from Spitfire
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Not an easy prompt, but you got a valuable message across.
I found words that could be deleted. For example: The man> delete 'the'.
real serious problems> delete 'real'.
in violent wars > delete 'in'.

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
    Thank you!
Comment from bob cullen
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I agree, man is the biggest threat to our world. And the longer he denies the rule and intent of God the worse our predicament becomes. What the world most needs now is good leadership and sadly people like Trump, Putin and the Korean dictator offer neither leadership nor goodness.
What the world needs is GOD.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
    Thank you so much!
Comment from Alexander Vasa
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Hi Raul, nice to see a work of yours today at FS. I think the content is spot on. We are a very damaging species and need to be taught how to be good, but we never need to be shown how to do wrong, that appears to come naturally for us. I also think we have to be one, equity for all as you state in your author notes.

You write well and I noticed no errors and best of luck with this well-written post. Cheers, Ana

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
    Thank you so much, Anastasia! You have made my day! :)
Comment from Miranda Langston
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i really like the way you have carried out this writing prompt. it is incredibly creative and i think it is definitely moving to some degree. nice choice of picture, too, by the way

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 04-Aug-2018
    Thank you! You have made my day! :)
Comment from Gloria ....
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Well Raul, this is an excellent entry into the contest and in one 40 word sentence. Well done you.

Moreover I couldn't agree with you more. It seems so easy, but I guess it's the details that make it a big challenge.

Best of luck to you in the contest. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2018
    Thank you! Thanks for the encouragement! The contest ended and I didn't win, but my improvement is that I've gotten 4 votes in the contest. Much improved from the other former contest which was 2 votes. I will win some contests here in the future. Thanks again, you have made my day! Good luck to you too in Fanstory! 😇
Comment from Ulla
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Hi Raul, I really like the message you're conveying in this paragraph. And that's the problem with the piece. It's a paragraph. The contest says a sentence of forty words. There can be commas but no full stop. Maybe a semicolon here and there would solve the problem. It's a great entry otherwise. Good luck. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
    Thank you! :)