Her Lover is Lost to Her At Sea
A Ditty: Every Night She Keeps Watch for Her Captain54 total reviews
Comment from CD Richards
Well, I think she's probably made the right call. There needs to be a limit to how long we are expected to wait for someone.
This is a very fine example of free verse, capturing the heartache of one who hopes for the return of someone who is lost to another - another person, another life, another plane of existence - who knows?
This line is the best, for me:
Nailing drapery over her reality
great image.
Well done,
Craig
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Well, I think she's probably made the right call. There needs to be a limit to how long we are expected to wait for someone.
This is a very fine example of free verse, capturing the heartache of one who hopes for the return of someone who is lost to another - another person, another life, another plane of existence - who knows?
This line is the best, for me:
Nailing drapery over her reality
great image.
Well done,
Craig
Comment Written 21-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hello CD... Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed, lucky number 6... I think it becomes a pathos that feeds on itself in some ways and takes you down with the ship. thanks
Comment from Blue Hendrix
Nicely written poem very nice flow. I didn't see
any Corrections that need to be made. Nice imagery good word choices and I think you just did an overall very good job.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Nicely written poem very nice flow. I didn't see
any Corrections that need to be made. Nice imagery good word choices and I think you just did an overall very good job.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hey Blue: Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed, lucky number 6. I'm honored and grateful. yours, diana
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Your welcome
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your storytelling in free verse. Your " 'round the sun" and "drapery" images were captivating, and the picture you selected reinforced your theme perfectly. Cheers and best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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I admired your storytelling in free verse. Your " 'round the sun" and "drapery" images were captivating, and the picture you selected reinforced your theme perfectly. Cheers and best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hi Joan: Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed...
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent free verse, Diana
The fate of many a sailor, captain or not
and the one who loves him, as well.
Can easily be extended beyond the captain and the sea
to the painful loss of anyone loved dearly.
Excellent imagery and description
the alliteration elevates the sense of the poem
Nicely done
Best wishes to you
Robert
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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This is an excellent free verse, Diana
The fate of many a sailor, captain or not
and the one who loves him, as well.
Can easily be extended beyond the captain and the sea
to the painful loss of anyone loved dearly.
Excellent imagery and description
the alliteration elevates the sense of the poem
Nicely done
Best wishes to you
Robert
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hi Robert... It is a bad place to find yourself. I think sometimes it is a pathos that is not altogether easy to shake... yours, diana
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Beautiful image and nice presentation, Diana.
-Note is appreciated.
-You have a well penned poem for the contest.
-The imagery is good, and you capture
her feelings as she awaits his return:
"One more full moon ... betrayed again"
-The single, italicized lines emphasize
this feeling very well.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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-Beautiful image and nice presentation, Diana.
-Note is appreciated.
-You have a well penned poem for the contest.
-The imagery is good, and you capture
her feelings as she awaits his return:
"One more full moon ... betrayed again"
-The single, italicized lines emphasize
this feeling very well.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hello Pam... Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed, lucky number 6 on Her Lover is Lost to Her at Sea... I'm honored and grateful. yours, diana
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You are very welcome and deserving of the lucky # 6, diana.
Comment from Julia Scanlon Was Leyshon
Very sad but very beautiful.I wonder who has betrayed her- has he really chosen the sea over her or is he lost to the sea? The fact that the sea is smooth gives a clue, I suppose. Well written- I always like verse that makes me question what has happened
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Very sad but very beautiful.I wonder who has betrayed her- has he really chosen the sea over her or is he lost to the sea? The fact that the sea is smooth gives a clue, I suppose. Well written- I always like verse that makes me question what has happened
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hi Julia: Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed, lucky number 6... I'm honored and humbled. Yours, diana
Comment from fivecardstud1247
the expression of losing a loved one is felt to this old man. I love you wring and the artwork you chose to go with it that is why gave you six stars.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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the expression of losing a loved one is felt to this old man. I love you wring and the artwork you chose to go with it that is why gave you six stars.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hey Fivecardstud:
Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed, lucky number 6... I'm honored and humbled. Yours, diana
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, though a melancholy write, its structure and imagery are beautifully coordinated in this beautiful presentation. The free verse added to its tone and was captivating in its read...
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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In my opinion, though a melancholy write, its structure and imagery are beautifully coordinated in this beautiful presentation. The free verse added to its tone and was captivating in its read...
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hello evesayshi: Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed, lucky number ... I'm honored and humbled. Yours, diana
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Sorry, didn't understand your reply, Diana, but you are welcome regardless...Eve
Comment from F. Wehr3
Awesome work on this free verse poem, Diana. I loved it. So much emotion poured out with carefully formed phrases. Truly a great pleasure to read.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Awesome work on this free verse poem, Diana. I loved it. So much emotion poured out with carefully formed phrases. Truly a great pleasure to read.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hello F. Wehr... Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed, lucky number 6... I'm honored and humbled. Yours, diana
Comment from rhonnie69
HELLO ART ASYLUM: I truly believe you when you say that you're, "HAPPY" to be here.
Continue to be "HAPPY" with YOURSELF," dear lady. Do not ever allow any negativity to rob, you of your joy of your life..."FOR ANY REASON." You are wise enough to be "HAPPY" with you. You are "YOUR" life. Which is the greatest gift that your Creator has given you. And you are wise enough to be "HAPPY" with being here, where He placed you for Him to love. That's extremely clever of you, Art Asylum. And god has blessed your humble heart...that you are still here, "TODAY." I'm happy about that, dear lady. Joyfully take another, and another trip 'round the sun. It'll only take you one year to take one trip 'round the sun. May your, "HAPPY" to be here years be many many more, Art Asylum. And in all you do...with all your heart, remain, "HAPPY," to be here...for that is "RIGHT," for you. Cordially: rhonnie69.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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HELLO ART ASYLUM: I truly believe you when you say that you're, "HAPPY" to be here.
Continue to be "HAPPY" with YOURSELF," dear lady. Do not ever allow any negativity to rob, you of your joy of your life..."FOR ANY REASON." You are wise enough to be "HAPPY" with you. You are "YOUR" life. Which is the greatest gift that your Creator has given you. And you are wise enough to be "HAPPY" with being here, where He placed you for Him to love. That's extremely clever of you, Art Asylum. And god has blessed your humble heart...that you are still here, "TODAY." I'm happy about that, dear lady. Joyfully take another, and another trip 'round the sun. It'll only take you one year to take one trip 'round the sun. May your, "HAPPY" to be here years be many many more, Art Asylum. And in all you do...with all your heart, remain, "HAPPY," to be here...for that is "RIGHT," for you. Cordially: rhonnie69.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2018
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Hi ronnie... thanks for your poignant review. Thanks so much for the constellation bestowed... I'm honored and humbled. Yours, diana