Cornbread Without Butter
I sure made a mistake in your sister's Easy-Bake.71 total reviews
Comment from A. Willow Bends
Awesome! I had my toe tappin'. I could almost hear this being sung. This took some imagination to come up with this comparison. Cornbread without butter would be awful in my book AND you described his feelings without her as such. Great job!
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Awesome! I had my toe tappin'. I could almost hear this being sung. This took some imagination to come up with this comparison. Cornbread without butter would be awful in my book AND you described his feelings without her as such. Great job!
Wendy
Comment Written 09-May-2018
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Wendy, for your delicious six star review. Yes, it took some imagination to bake this song. Thanks.
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Thanks again, Wendy, after my song won Poem of the Month on FanStory, I rushed to memorize and rehearse it to perform it at the San Francisco Free Folk Festival. Enjoy.
Comment from judiverse
Cornbread without butter? That's no way to live. This is really musical. You make a great analogy--cornbread without butter without you. You have a really interesting story about the woman the narrator has lost. Great image of her baking cornbread for the wedding guests. Love your distinction--the way to a man's heart is through his tummy. The way to a woman's heart is through her mind. Great poem, and I'm going to have it running through my mind all day. judi
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Cornbread without butter? That's no way to live. This is really musical. You make a great analogy--cornbread without butter without you. You have a really interesting story about the woman the narrator has lost. Great image of her baking cornbread for the wedding guests. Love your distinction--the way to a man's heart is through his tummy. The way to a woman's heart is through her mind. Great poem, and I'm going to have it running through my mind all day. judi
Comment Written 09-May-2018
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Oh, yes, Judi, I love that image of her baking cornbread for her wedding guests. Her man was a fool to cheat on her. The distinctions you love were the last lines I wrote for my song. Thank you for your delicious review.
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You're very welcome. Probably not as delicious as that cornbread--one of my dad's favorite foods. judi
Comment from LIJ Red
My dad, in his last years-about 1976-tried to make cornbread like his mom made.
Unfortunately, he never got the slow-stone-ground nonhybrid maize unsqueezed meal-- with homechurned buttermilk-- to work right in an electric stove. I loved the old real pone with sorghum syrup...excellent song. Too bad country music has gone away in a handbasket.
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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My dad, in his last years-about 1976-tried to make cornbread like his mom made.
Unfortunately, he never got the slow-stone-ground nonhybrid maize unsqueezed meal-- with homechurned buttermilk-- to work right in an electric stove. I loved the old real pone with sorghum syrup...excellent song. Too bad country music has gone away in a handbasket.
Comment Written 09-May-2018
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Thank you, LIJ Red, for your review and for sharing your precious memories of your father's attempts to make cornbread. When my father died, he left cornbread in the freezer. I always regretted not tasting it because his step children said he knew how to bake.
Comment from evilynne
That's a great Country Western song, humorous and well written. I can just hear it being sung with that Country Western twang. The background story is great as well. Evi
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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That's a great Country Western song, humorous and well written. I can just hear it being sung with that Country Western twang. The background story is great as well. Evi
Comment Written 09-May-2018
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Yes, I can hear this sung in a Country Western twang, too. Thank you for your review.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my!!!!!!!!! This poem was fun to read and I'm sure it was fun to write. I'm hoping your having a wonderful vacation. I happen to be a great fan of cornbread and, of course, butter needs to melt on it.
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Oh my!!!!!!!!! This poem was fun to read and I'm sure it was fun to write. I'm hoping your having a wonderful vacation. I happen to be a great fan of cornbread and, of course, butter needs to melt on it.
Comment Written 08-May-2018
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Barbara, I just returned from vacation to read your lovely review of my song which was fun to write. Thanks.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Sis Cat: I would give you a fifteen for this poem if I could. I like
the song with your great beat and visions of corn bread and butter.
You show us how the two work together. I like blueberry corn bread
and butter and honey. I can just see the bride baking in the kitchen.
Hope everyone enjoys your songs. Have a blessed weekend with
corn bread and butter and your lover. I'll be with my Mom and daughters.
Celebration time for our 29 year anniversary, too. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 10-May-2018
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Sis Cat: I would give you a fifteen for this poem if I could. I like
the song with your great beat and visions of corn bread and butter.
You show us how the two work together. I like blueberry corn bread
and butter and honey. I can just see the bride baking in the kitchen.
Hope everyone enjoys your songs. Have a blessed weekend with
corn bread and butter and your lover. I'll be with my Mom and daughters.
Celebration time for our 29 year anniversary, too. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 08-May-2018
reply by the author on 10-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Nancy, for your delicious review. Yes, many reviewers can see the bride baking cornbread for her wedding guests. Have a blessed Mother's Day and congratulations on your 29th.
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Thanks again, Nancy. I was surprised people enjoyed my song so much that it won Poem of the Month on FanStory. I rushed to memorize and rehearse it so I could perform it at the San Francisco Free Folk Festival. Enjoy.
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sis cat: what energy and fun you share with your poem and friends. YEAH! well done... nancy
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Thanks, Nancy, glad you enjoyed it.
AW
Comment from Elizabeth Daniels
I thought I was starting to read a poem, but as I read, I was thinking to myself; this would make a good song'. Then I read your comments at the end and had to laugh. All songs are essentially poems put to music, but this definitely would make a good song.
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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I thought I was starting to read a poem, but as I read, I was thinking to myself; this would make a good song'. Then I read your comments at the end and had to laugh. All songs are essentially poems put to music, but this definitely would make a good song.
Comment Written 08-May-2018
reply by the author on 09-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Elizabeth, for your cheerful review. Yes, all songs are poems put to music. In order to write this one I first wrote a story synopsis and the key dramatic scenes between the two characters. Once I had the story, I then wrote lyrics.
Comment from tfawcus
I'd love to hear this one sung! A brilliant metaphor delivered with an easy and fluid rhythm. Perfect tone, with its balance of humour and pathos. The repeating chorus lines work particularly well. Six, all the way to California on the Stagecoach!
reply by the author on 10-May-2018
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I'd love to hear this one sung! A brilliant metaphor delivered with an easy and fluid rhythm. Perfect tone, with its balance of humour and pathos. The repeating chorus lines work particularly well. Six, all the way to California on the Stagecoach!
Comment Written 08-May-2018
reply by the author on 10-May-2018
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Oh, thank you, Tony, for your enthusiastic six star review. I appreciate it. I've been practicing singing my song.
Comment from kriver
Hi Cat,
This is an interesting poem.
It made me hungry just looking at the picture
but by the time finished reading the poem
I was starving for one of my favorite things cornbread.
Anyways it is a good write. I hope someone makes it into a song for you.
You are not too old to learn to play the guitar.
go to zager guitars.com They have really good guitars and can teach you how to play too. It doesn't cost you anything to try a guitar. They pay for shipping both ways if you don't like the guitar. I think you would really like it and do well with it.
You are a talented writer I am sure you would be able to learn to play quickly. You only need to know a handful of chords and you can play thousands of songs.
I am 67 and I am learning to play. It is fun and challenging too. Their guitars are built in a special way to help beginners like us to learn to play with out the pain in the fingers from pressing the strings.I tried one of their guitars once and the things they say about their guitars being easier to play is true.
Anyways, I hope you give it a try. Check them out and talk to them they will help you. They are good honest people.
Best regards,
K River
reply by the author on 10-May-2018
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Hi Cat,
This is an interesting poem.
It made me hungry just looking at the picture
but by the time finished reading the poem
I was starving for one of my favorite things cornbread.
Anyways it is a good write. I hope someone makes it into a song for you.
You are not too old to learn to play the guitar.
go to zager guitars.com They have really good guitars and can teach you how to play too. It doesn't cost you anything to try a guitar. They pay for shipping both ways if you don't like the guitar. I think you would really like it and do well with it.
You are a talented writer I am sure you would be able to learn to play quickly. You only need to know a handful of chords and you can play thousands of songs.
I am 67 and I am learning to play. It is fun and challenging too. Their guitars are built in a special way to help beginners like us to learn to play with out the pain in the fingers from pressing the strings.I tried one of their guitars once and the things they say about their guitars being easier to play is true.
Anyways, I hope you give it a try. Check them out and talk to them they will help you. They are good honest people.
Best regards,
K River
Comment Written 08-May-2018
reply by the author on 10-May-2018
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Kriver, nevermind the picture of the cornbread. Looking at those Zager guitars made me hungry. Started watching their videos and signed up for their guitar giveaway. When I took a songwriting workshop last year, I was one of two people who did not know how to play an instrument, but my songs, as you can see here with "Cornbread Without Butter," were unlike anything people have heard. My teacher and classmates urged me to get a guitar and then FanStorians started urging me to get a guitar. I've been singing my songs A Capella, but playing a guitar could enhance and increase performance opportunities. I just turned another year, and I don't think my songwriting bug is going away any time soon. So thanks for the tip. I copied and pasted it into my notes for my song, and already signed up for Zager's email list and followed them on Twitter. Thanks.
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Hi cat,
Happy Birthday, Why don't you send for a guitar and try it out see if you like it. If you don't just send it back. It won't cost you a cent to try it. They pay for shipping both ways. Be sure and get the tuner electric plug in so you can connect to an amplifier too. the tuner is extremely important to have and very convenient too when it is on the guitar itself. Read their reviews too. I have looked at all kinds of guitars.
The easy play ability factor is the #1 thing that and the sound. You could get one for a birthday present to yourself. If you were in the military they give a discount for that. They also have a discount place on their site where they have blemished ones at a lower price. But from what I can tell they really are not bad at all and I am very fussy when it comes to stuff like that.
When I compared them to other guitars Zager's are cheaper and they are better in build quality than all the others and their guarantee is better too. lol I sound like an advertisement for them and I don't have any connection to them at all. I just like the way their guitars are make and their customer service. I had questions and the son Dennis got right back to me. He is very easy to talk to. No high pressure to buy or anything like that. He seemed very honest and above board with all his answers. I really liked that. They give a 100 % life time guarantee on all their guitars. They pay for all the shipping too.
You might look at the walk around video that shows what you get when you order one. Let me know if you order one I'd be really interested in what you think of the guitar and how it plays for you.
Best regards,
K River
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Thank you, Kriver, I bought a starter guitar yesterday, a Yamaha classical guitar, and signed up for lessons. My goal is a Zager, but I need to start somewhere and the Yamaha was within my budget. I envision having several guitars--one for composing, one for gigging, but I want the Zager to be one of them. I just might be like the guy in the Zager video who did not return to his earlier guitars when he got a Zager, but that's my wasted $300 (including solid case). I felt it important that I need to start somewhere if not top of the line. Lessons start next Saturday. I'm copying and pasting your message in my songwriting file because I intend to get a Zager. Thanks for the encouragement.
Andre
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Hi Andre,
Congrats on getting a guitar. I am sure that is exciting for you. When you go to your first lesson
tell the teacher your not interested in learning notation and all the music theory. You don't need it to play. All you really need to really play is to learn How to read guitar tab and the chords.It is the easiest way to learn to play. Ask the teacher if they can teach you to read tab. If they can that is a good start if not or they give you some excuse. Then find a different teacher that can teach you tab. If the teacher starts you out with Mel Bay guitar 1. I would also find another teacher.
I am telling you all of this based on personal experience in learning to play the banjo. Lots of teachers use the mel bay books but they are boring and teach kiddie songs, They don't teach an easy method of learning to play. If you learn 5 C,D, E ,F ,G of the 12 main chords you can play thousands of songs C, D, E, E minor, F, G, A,
A 7, A minor, B, B minor Those are pretty much the main chords. get a chord book and start memorizing the cords. When I first tried to learn banjo I found some video tapes on how to play it helped me get way a head when I went to a teacher. check out www.Homespun.com I found that was a really good method to learn and they have really good teachers too. Another outfit is
ArtistWorks.com they have some really famous people teaching there. I found it was worht the $50 for the tape. You get a bunch lessons that you can go over and over as many times as necessary to learn the stuff and do it at your own pace. When you 1st start practicing play for shorter periods but do it more often until you fingers get calluses built up. When that happens your fingers won't hurt any more. But that takes time to develop They aren't really noticeable or make your hands look bad or anything. They just make your finger tip tougher that's all. It only takes a few months of regular playing to get them.Once you do playing gets to be a lot more fun and you can do it for hours and not feel any pain at all. it is just at the beginning that is hard on the fingers. Get you guitar set up so the action is as low as possible it will make it easier for you to play. You will also need a tuner that you can get on line for about $5-$10 This is extremely important when you 1st start because you will develop an ear for the correct pitch and sound of your guitar being in tune. also you'll need a capo to be able to change keys if you want to all that does is move the nut down the neck the position of the chords stay the same but you have to know which fret to put it on the frets are the spaces between the metal on the fret board. The nut is at the very top. If you put the capo on the 2nd fret it is the Key of A on the 5th fret it is the Key of C no capo is the Key of G. If you learn to read tab you can easily learn to play the banjo, mandolin, and other stringed instruments. Anyways, I am getting carried away here. I played banjo for a long time and this what I found was the best way to learn to play 1st do the videos learn the basics well for a good foundation then do the lessons with a teacher that way you have a better idea of what is going on and what you are having problems with learning or questions you might have. The last thing is practice like the devil was chasing you in other words a lot. That will guarantee you will be successful in your guitar playing adventure.
Best regards,
Kirk
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Thank you, Kirk. I copied and pasted your advice into a Word.Doc to take to class. Good thing the first lesson is next Saturday because it gives me time to read your notes and prepare. Thanks again.
Andre
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Andre
Is it a guy or a woman teacher? Be sure to ask about learning to read tablature it is way easier than trying to learn regular musical notation. GO to homspun.com you'll find instruction you need to help get you started if the teacher doesn't work out. I did this 1st with the banjo years ago. when I had learned the 1st tape I found teacher and went from there. It worked well doing it that way and cheaper too.
look up how to play chords on the net and start memorizing the forms on your guitar. also get a snark tuner they only cost $10.00 on line it attaches to the head stock (top of the guitar with the tuners) easy to use, effective, and important to have. Good luck with your teacher. Practice hard and you'll do well.
Best regards,
Kirk
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Thanks, Kirk. The teacher's a guy and I already bought a chord book which I practice. Thanks for the additional tips.
Andre
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Kirk:
I bought myself a Snark and a book/DVD/CD for Acoustic Guitar for Beginners is on its way. Thanks for the tips.
Andre
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Hi Andre,
I don't want to keep bothering you but I am curious how are the lessons are you learning tab? I hope they are going well. Your fingers will hurt for a little while until you build calluses on the tips. Then it stops hurting and that is when it gets fun to play. You'll get there just don't give up and keep practicing. The more you practice the better you'll get at a faster pace too. You can do it. Short practice times are better than one long one. Good move on buying the book and the snark.
Kirk
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Yes, I?m still taking lessons and learning tab. I haven?t developed calluses yet, but with my song ?Cornbread Without Butter? winning the FanStory Poem of the Month and with me singing two of my songs a cappella at the San Francisco Free Folk Music Festival this Saturday, I need to increase my practice ?as if the devil was chasing me? so that next year at this time I can play my own accompaniment.
Comment from rama devi
Fine prose-style voicing in this unique free verse lyric poem. Very musical and lyrical. good use of repetition. Good flow and POV. Excellent descriptive imagery and effective diction too. Outstanding originality in the metaphor/simile.
NOTES
And now it's three a.m.(,) and I'm hungry again.
I went to the kitchen to check for some fixin(')s.
Good slant rhyme here:
Cornbread and butter,
the two need each other.
*
You(,) in your wedding dress(,) baked cornbread for the guests.
*
And(,) on our honeymoon in the middle of June,
Enjoyed this!
Best Smiles,
rd
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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Fine prose-style voicing in this unique free verse lyric poem. Very musical and lyrical. good use of repetition. Good flow and POV. Excellent descriptive imagery and effective diction too. Outstanding originality in the metaphor/simile.
NOTES
And now it's three a.m.(,) and I'm hungry again.
I went to the kitchen to check for some fixin(')s.
Good slant rhyme here:
Cornbread and butter,
the two need each other.
*
You(,) in your wedding dress(,) baked cornbread for the guests.
*
And(,) on our honeymoon in the middle of June,
Enjoyed this!
Best Smiles,
rd
Comment Written 08-May-2018
reply by the author on 11-May-2018
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Whew, Rama. I just spent ten minutes reading Southerners debate whether or not "fixin's" need an apostrophe. You are right. It does. Thank you for giving my song its only punctuation review. I accepted them all, putting my song in excellent shape for submissions to songwriting contests. I'm glad you enjoyed my lyrics which made you smile. Thanks again.
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Yay! Happy to help. You're a gifted lyricist!
Love, rd
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Thanks, Rama, for complimenting me as a gifted lyracist. I just bought my first guitar yesterday and signed up for lessons.
Andre
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Yay! :-))))
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Rama:
I need your advice about a word change in my song. I started performing it in public and noticed that I used the phrase "left me" five times, including the opening line, the chorus, and the line "now you left me alone."
"Left" is a bland word and I am considering changing it to "made" in the chorus so that it now sings as "has made me sad and blue." Is that the correct use of that phrase?
On the other hand, the repetition of "left me" speaks to the protagonist's sense of abandonment.
Do you have any opinion on this?
Since my song won Poem of the Month, I have been performing it around the Bay Area and increasing my guitar practice so that I could perform my own music. Here is last Saturday's performance at the San Francisco Free Folk Festival.
I am performing my song again tonight at an open mic if I'm picked.
I value your opinion and time.
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Nice to see you performing...and congrats on POM win. I like how you both sing and speak the poem. Fun metaphor ...cornbread without butter...without a lover...well done.
I think using MADE in that context works much better than left me. You could also try FIND ME SAD AND BLUE
I also think the left me repetitions work fine.
Love the rhymes of Piggly Wiggly and me, mistake and Easy Bake... and isles and smiles.
Fun read. Heard lots of giggles in the audience. :)
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Thank you, Rama, for your compliments and suggestions. I?m going to try MADE at my next performance. The venue I was going to perform at last night was on summer hiatus, so I am looking for a bigger crowd than the sixteen who saw my performance at the Free Folk Festival. I will also seek feedback from songwriters and musicians. Meanwhile, I keep practicing guitar and writing songs. I?ll let you know how that goes.
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Super! :-)))