This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "The Fire"Veronica is sent back again
33 total reviews
Comment from RGstar
SIX STARs
Oh, Yes. This was a good piece of writing, just by point of the narrative. Excellent drama, though not too familiar with the characters. The scenes were as lifelike as they were captivating.
Good interaction, by now, within characters. The writing settled down nicely from the earlier read. Now we are into film mode. A joyous end with normality returning. The fact that the lead characters are ghosts does not interfere with the narrative, for even if it is in the back of the mind, they have become elementary as if human, and part of the household. There is nothing far fetched here. It is as it should be. A great plot, and a great write.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
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SIX STARs
Oh, Yes. This was a good piece of writing, just by point of the narrative. Excellent drama, though not too familiar with the characters. The scenes were as lifelike as they were captivating.
Good interaction, by now, within characters. The writing settled down nicely from the earlier read. Now we are into film mode. A joyous end with normality returning. The fact that the lead characters are ghosts does not interfere with the narrative, for even if it is in the back of the mind, they have become elementary as if human, and part of the household. There is nothing far fetched here. It is as it should be. A great plot, and a great write.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2018
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What a lovely review, thank you so very much, RG, and the virtual 6 is a bonus! I'm so pleased you find the plot believable, that is such an encouraging sign. Thank you! Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Winslow
Dear Sandra,
A medieval tale well told of mysteries of the past well spelled out. Who knows what awaits the fate of the characters involved.
I think this could be improved by switching from passive voice to active. For instance I would change this to.
Sir John stamped on the flames and kicked the paper away before the fire could get out of control. The oil splattered... for me it makes it much more exciting.
Happy Valentines Day,
Winslow
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Dear Sandra,
A medieval tale well told of mysteries of the past well spelled out. Who knows what awaits the fate of the characters involved.
I think this could be improved by switching from passive voice to active. For instance I would change this to.
Sir John stamped on the flames and kicked the paper away before the fire could get out of control. The oil splattered... for me it makes it much more exciting.
Happy Valentines Day,
Winslow
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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That is brilliant, thank you so much, Winslow, I really appreciate your input. I'll use that and check out some more. I'm glad you enjoyed this part, and I sincerely hope to see you again! :) Sandra xx
Comment from robina1978
An excellent photo of a fire. The people watching it are terrified. A father is scared he'd lose his son. But with joint effort they safe him and get him up, bring him upstairs to try and make him more comfortable . I did not need changes needed.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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An excellent photo of a fire. The people watching it are terrified. A father is scared he'd lose his son. But with joint effort they safe him and get him up, bring him upstairs to try and make him more comfortable . I did not need changes needed.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Aww, thank you so much, Ine, for this lovely review! You are so kind. And I'm sending you a big hug for the lovely 6 stars! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Oh my goodness, what an exciting chapter Sandra. Gwendolyn freaked out! A normal reaction for any mother. Sir John is badly burned and is probably in shock partly because he has seen a ghost move a hat and the serious burns on his leg.. LOL I love the dialect in your story. You are an amazing author dear. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Oh my goodness, what an exciting chapter Sandra. Gwendolyn freaked out! A normal reaction for any mother. Sir John is badly burned and is probably in shock partly because he has seen a ghost move a hat and the serious burns on his leg.. LOL I love the dialect in your story. You are an amazing author dear. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Yes, Sir John isn't doing very well at the moment, is he? LOL. Thank you so much, my dear friend. Big hugs. Sandra xxxxx
Comment from Rasmine
Hello, Sandra, :)
Good chapter! Very good writing.
I found some typos, I think, so do research to make sure I'm right.
I'd just entered the kitchen again when a howl, so horrendous that I felt the hair on my arms goosepimple (these are two words) up, sending me rushing back to the cellar. As Sir John held on to the banister (comma) he reached out his other arm for the make-shift crutch Joe had brought up with him.
Good sentence; I like the comparison especially since the Olympics are underway!
I yelled as I raced down the stairs faster than an Olympic runner.
TC,
Nome
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Hello, Sandra, :)
Good chapter! Very good writing.
I found some typos, I think, so do research to make sure I'm right.
I'd just entered the kitchen again when a howl, so horrendous that I felt the hair on my arms goosepimple (these are two words) up, sending me rushing back to the cellar. As Sir John held on to the banister (comma) he reached out his other arm for the make-shift crutch Joe had brought up with him.
Good sentence; I like the comparison especially since the Olympics are underway!
I yelled as I raced down the stairs faster than an Olympic runner.
TC,
Nome
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thank you, Rasmine. I did go and check, it was 'goosebumps' that could be one word or two. But, you were right on the goose pimples. They are separate words. It's interesting Googling for info. The word Goosebumps comes from our hairy ancestors, way, way back. When they were cold the goosebumps made their hair stand on end to keep the chill out of their bodies. Really interesting, but what I'd like to know now is, how do scientists find out such things?? I've added the comma, thank you for that, too. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from apky
Hello Sandra,
Heavens. This one is yet another excellent chapter and moves at a fast pace, what with the danger of the fire threatening to consume everybod.
I enjoyed it and found it, as always, very entertaining. No spags that I could detect. The plot continues to race and is sprinkled with a variety of intriguing situations. I felt like joining them in their glasses of wine.
Warm regards,
Aki
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Hello Sandra,
Heavens. This one is yet another excellent chapter and moves at a fast pace, what with the danger of the fire threatening to consume everybod.
I enjoyed it and found it, as always, very entertaining. No spags that I could detect. The plot continues to race and is sprinkled with a variety of intriguing situations. I felt like joining them in their glasses of wine.
Warm regards,
Aki
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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I did! A nice glass of red! lol. Thank you, my dear friend, for another lovely review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Sandra;
This was really well written. I could imagine the fire and while you wrote about putting it out and the sheer panic in the air, I felt it as the characters each dealt with it.
The description of the burns made me shudder, (probably a good thing I never wanted to go into any type of medicine, huh?)
Well done -- I look forward to more,
~patty~
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Hi, Sandra;
This was really well written. I could imagine the fire and while you wrote about putting it out and the sheer panic in the air, I felt it as the characters each dealt with it.
The description of the burns made me shudder, (probably a good thing I never wanted to go into any type of medicine, huh?)
Well done -- I look forward to more,
~patty~
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Thank you so much, Patty. The only way I could describe the burn was it happened to my son at work just before Christmas, only his was due to a faulty gas burner at work. I also learnt that we have 3 layers of skin before the flesh. Not a nice way to learn about such things, though. Thank you for the lovely review, my friend. Big hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
Yet another very fine instalment. I wonder how Sir John will reconcile Joe's heroics with how he treated him. Great stuff.
Few bits & pieces.
Gwendolyn had been hovering near-by, - nearby can be a single word here.
jus' till I be getting' this fire put - delete the 'g' from getting.
I'd noticed a broom lent up against the wall, - leant.
she be waitin' for 'im down stairs - downstairs can be a single word here.
it don't mean ought - maybe aught here rather than ought.
'Oh Lordy, Miss Veronica.... - need closing speech marks here to end.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Hi Sandra,
Yet another very fine instalment. I wonder how Sir John will reconcile Joe's heroics with how he treated him. Great stuff.
Few bits & pieces.
Gwendolyn had been hovering near-by, - nearby can be a single word here.
jus' till I be getting' this fire put - delete the 'g' from getting.
I'd noticed a broom lent up against the wall, - leant.
she be waitin' for 'im down stairs - downstairs can be a single word here.
it don't mean ought - maybe aught here rather than ought.
'Oh Lordy, Miss Veronica.... - need closing speech marks here to end.
All the best
G
Comment Written 12-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Bless your heart, Gareth! I always post now in the hope I've caught all the silly errors ... and never do!! Thank you so very much for catching them again. I've made the corrections.. I don't think there are quite so many now due mainly to you pointing them out. It makes me try that bit harder. I'm just really pleased you enjoy reading my story. Thanks again, and big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Very well written and very well written description of the fire. Good dialogue as well. Keep up the great work, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Very well written and very well written description of the fire. Good dialogue as well. Keep up the great work, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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Aw, thank you, Debbie. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. It was quite a hard one to write. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from c_lucas
I must have missed a chapter or two because of my illness. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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I must have missed a chapter or two because of my illness. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2018
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I hope you are a lot better now, Charlie? I know you were quite poorly. Thank you for reading this part, and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
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You're welcome, Sandra. My health has not improved. For the last year, I haven't been allowed to live alone. My caregiver, an RN named Virginia has kept me in her spare bedroom. She has been taking good care of me.
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Oh, Charles, I'm so sorry. But what a nice person, Virgina is, she must be Heaven sent. I do hope you get better soon, at least so as you can enjoy life a bit more. I'll keep you in my prayers, my friend, xxx
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Thank you, Sandra. I won't be getting any better. Charlie
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I am sorry, my friend, I will keep you in my prayers. I'm sure He is looking after you. xxxx
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Thank you, Sandra. Charlie
