And Once Upon A Journey Made
A seaman looks back on memories.36 total reviews
Comment from write hand blue
I enjoyed reading about your experience as a seaman. You started and finished with the same 12 words. I like that. I've been known to end a short story in the same fashion.
I don't know enough about the rules to be able to offer any technical advice I'm afraid. Keep writing.
Mel
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I enjoyed reading about your experience as a seaman. You started and finished with the same 12 words. I like that. I've been known to end a short story in the same fashion.
I don't know enough about the rules to be able to offer any technical advice I'm afraid. Keep writing.
Mel
Comment Written 15-May-2024
Comment from GoWiSt
"and Siren's sung their themes." Sirens--no apostrophe needed.
Very good reading flow and abab rhyme scheme to the quatrains.
Excellent imagery employed, as I was virtually transported into the varied scenes depicted.
A very well-crafted memoir poem of nostalgic recollection. I'd have loved to have traveled the seas.
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"and Siren's sung their themes." Sirens--no apostrophe needed.
Very good reading flow and abab rhyme scheme to the quatrains.
Excellent imagery employed, as I was virtually transported into the varied scenes depicted.
A very well-crafted memoir poem of nostalgic recollection. I'd have loved to have traveled the seas.
Comment Written 15-May-2024
Comment from tens13
This is a very solid poem. I enjoyed the overall maritime theme, and your vocabulary is certainly impressive. My one critique, however, is that a few of the lines in the poem have fewer syllables then the rest, which can make it difficult to read in proper rhythm. Otherwise, very well done.
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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This is a very solid poem. I enjoyed the overall maritime theme, and your vocabulary is certainly impressive. My one critique, however, is that a few of the lines in the poem have fewer syllables then the rest, which can make it difficult to read in proper rhythm. Otherwise, very well done.
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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yep, it is an 8/6 ballad my friend.
Comment from Mark Jackson
I enjoyed the way your poem captures a life lived fully, with all its highs and lows. It's a skillful reflection on the passage of time, resilience, and the power of memory. Thanks for sharing.
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I enjoyed the way your poem captures a life lived fully, with all its highs and lows. It's a skillful reflection on the passage of time, resilience, and the power of memory. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-May-2024
Comment from Sanku
A nostalgic and metaphorical account of a journey .Life itself is a journey and the repeated cycle of life and death is indicated by same lines in the beginning and end...
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A nostalgic and metaphorical account of a journey .Life itself is a journey and the repeated cycle of life and death is indicated by same lines in the beginning and end...
Comment Written 14-May-2024
Comment from Thor R
This poem beautifully captures the essence of a life journey, using vivid imagery and poignant language to convey themes of adventure, memory, aging, and the passage of time.
1. **Imagery and Language**: The imagery in the poem is vivid and evocative, transporting the reader to the vast expanse of the sea and the sensations of sailing. Phrases like "scented verdant glade" and "salted sea" create a sense of atmosphere and mood, while also evoking a sense of nostalgia and longing. The language used throughout the poem is lyrical and poetic, enhancing its emotional resonance and aesthetic appeal.
2. **Theme and Tone**: The poem explores themes of adventure, youth, aging, and the cyclical nature of life. It captures the bittersweet essence of reminiscing about past experiences while coming to terms with the inevitability of aging and mortality. The tone of the poem is reflective and contemplative, imbued with a sense of wistfulness and acceptance.
3. **Structure and Flow**: The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme and meter, which adds to its musicality and readability. The use of repetition, particularly in the opening and closing lines, reinforces the cyclical nature of the journey being described and creates a sense of unity and coherence throughout the poem. The flow of the poem is smooth and unhurried, allowing the reader to immerse themselves fully in the imagery and emotions being conveyed.
4. **Emotional Impact**: The poem elicits a strong emotional response, evoking feelings of nostalgia, longing, and introspection. It invites the reader to reflect on their own life journey and the passage of time, while also celebrating the beauty and resilience of the human spirit. The juxtaposition of youthful vitality with the inevitability of aging adds depth and poignancy to the poem's emotional impact.
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This poem beautifully captures the essence of a life journey, using vivid imagery and poignant language to convey themes of adventure, memory, aging, and the passage of time.
1. **Imagery and Language**: The imagery in the poem is vivid and evocative, transporting the reader to the vast expanse of the sea and the sensations of sailing. Phrases like "scented verdant glade" and "salted sea" create a sense of atmosphere and mood, while also evoking a sense of nostalgia and longing. The language used throughout the poem is lyrical and poetic, enhancing its emotional resonance and aesthetic appeal.
2. **Theme and Tone**: The poem explores themes of adventure, youth, aging, and the cyclical nature of life. It captures the bittersweet essence of reminiscing about past experiences while coming to terms with the inevitability of aging and mortality. The tone of the poem is reflective and contemplative, imbued with a sense of wistfulness and acceptance.
3. **Structure and Flow**: The poem follows a consistent rhyme scheme and meter, which adds to its musicality and readability. The use of repetition, particularly in the opening and closing lines, reinforces the cyclical nature of the journey being described and creates a sense of unity and coherence throughout the poem. The flow of the poem is smooth and unhurried, allowing the reader to immerse themselves fully in the imagery and emotions being conveyed.
4. **Emotional Impact**: The poem elicits a strong emotional response, evoking feelings of nostalgia, longing, and introspection. It invites the reader to reflect on their own life journey and the passage of time, while also celebrating the beauty and resilience of the human spirit. The juxtaposition of youthful vitality with the inevitability of aging adds depth and poignancy to the poem's emotional impact.
Comment Written 14-May-2024
Comment from gansach
This is a very enjoyable poem to read. I had visions of explorers, pirates, whalers, Odysseus. So descriptive with a good meter and rhyme, it gives a great feeling of freedom. Very nice work!
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This is a very enjoyable poem to read. I had visions of explorers, pirates, whalers, Odysseus. So descriptive with a good meter and rhyme, it gives a great feeling of freedom. Very nice work!
Comment Written 14-May-2024
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Tom,
I like this poetic remembrance of youth and all we dream when we are young. It shows how aging makes you think of what is important and what is not and that we should never live with regret of the past.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great week.
Joan
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Hi Tom,
I like this poetic remembrance of youth and all we dream when we are young. It shows how aging makes you think of what is important and what is not and that we should never live with regret of the past.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great week.
Joan
Comment Written 14-May-2024
Comment from Ulla
Oh this poem, brings back so many memories of all the years I have been sailing.I sometimes miss it so much. But I'm blessed that I have been part of that life. The wind has gone out of the sails but the memories will never fail. Thanks for sharing. Ulla:)))
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Oh this poem, brings back so many memories of all the years I have been sailing.I sometimes miss it so much. But I'm blessed that I have been part of that life. The wind has gone out of the sails but the memories will never fail. Thanks for sharing. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 14-May-2024
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I rarely review poetry. Not that I don't like some of it (witness the 6 awarded this one), but that I feel so inadequate in my attempt to offer a review.
But alas, driven by the want of mammon, I hopped the fence, the great divide, and immediately discovered trimmed mainsail wind riding.
In my ignorance, I can't specifically say what pleasured me the most, just that I read it twice just for the fun of it.
(smiley face here)
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I rarely review poetry. Not that I don't like some of it (witness the 6 awarded this one), but that I feel so inadequate in my attempt to offer a review.
But alas, driven by the want of mammon, I hopped the fence, the great divide, and immediately discovered trimmed mainsail wind riding.
In my ignorance, I can't specifically say what pleasured me the most, just that I read it twice just for the fun of it.
(smiley face here)
Comment Written 14-May-2024
