Goat-Man
Curiosity Leads 4 Young Men Deep Into the Country26 total reviews
Comment from Twinsissy
This was an amazing, eerie story!
Your build up and narrative were superb, in my opinion.
Just enough description to set the scene, with really good dialogue, and choice of words, to move the story forward.
I was engrossed, and really wanted to know what happened.
A great story, well told. Thanks.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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This was an amazing, eerie story!
Your build up and narrative were superb, in my opinion.
Just enough description to set the scene, with really good dialogue, and choice of words, to move the story forward.
I was engrossed, and really wanted to know what happened.
A great story, well told. Thanks.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from LIJ Red
I opened this because The Goat Man was a legend in the South in the 1960s. He was a nomad, with a wagon pulled by a large team of goats, he went through my home county heading south in the fall and north in the spring. I saw him a few times and googled him years later...just saying. Excellent story.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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I opened this because The Goat Man was a legend in the South in the 1960s. He was a nomad, with a wagon pulled by a large team of goats, he went through my home county heading south in the fall and north in the spring. I saw him a few times and googled him years later...just saying. Excellent story.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and for the history lesson. I never knew how this old man got his nickname.
Comment from Mame
Yes very risky undertaking and agree that the outcome may have been a lot worse if this happened today. Great picture too and good luck in contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2018
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Yes very risky undertaking and agree that the outcome may have been a lot worse if this happened today. Great picture too and good luck in contest.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello!
There are many elements to "like" in your offering: plot, character, dialogue. But I mostly appreciate the honesty with which you write. Your notes at the end of your piece are probably very true as well.
Best Wishes in the contest,
diane
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2018
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Hello!
There are many elements to "like" in your offering: plot, character, dialogue. But I mostly appreciate the honesty with which you write. Your notes at the end of your piece are probably very true as well.
Best Wishes in the contest,
diane
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a great contest entry. You should expand this to a novel. You could be the creator of a new urban legend. Come up with some stories of people disappearing and you're on your way.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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This is a great contest entry. You should expand this to a novel. You could be the creator of a new urban legend. Come up with some stories of people disappearing and you're on your way.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from Zue65
Teeners are capable of little mischief due to their immature and impulsive nature common among young, energetic teenagers. The story was presented effectively and progressed naturally from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Teeners are capable of little mischief due to their immature and impulsive nature common among young, energetic teenagers. The story was presented effectively and progressed naturally from beginning to end. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and critique. I really appreciate it.
Comment from giraffmang
Urban legends are funny old things. Many rooted in reality but spun out beyond fact.
"Me too," said I,- this should end with a full stop rather than a comma.
they've visited this place a couple times / He repeated this process a couple of times - I think it's best to use one expression consistently couple times of with of the of rather than varying it.
Dave shined his light on the door - shone?
the rear of the car fish-tailing - fishtailing can be a single word.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Urban legends are funny old things. Many rooted in reality but spun out beyond fact.
"Me too," said I,- this should end with a full stop rather than a comma.
they've visited this place a couple times / He repeated this process a couple of times - I think it's best to use one expression consistently couple times of with of the of rather than varying it.
Dave shined his light on the door - shone?
the rear of the car fish-tailing - fishtailing can be a single word.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and critique.
Comment from apky
Your story is certainly eerie. I enjoyed the read as well as the excellent story-telling skills. Apart from what I point out below, the dialogue flowed well and consistently.
My brother Dave asks(asked - it would be better to remain consistent in the past tense), "So how do you know it was goat-man's place if nobody was there?"
"Oh, it's his place," as he laughs(laughed), "there's nobody who would ever live in this place.
"I ain't never heard anyone talk about this," said Dave. "And how's come we've never heard of goat-man before?"
"He's been around for a while now," Tom said.[This dialogue does not cohere. You could do that by, for example, a word like nevertheless: "He's nevertheless been around for a while now." When that word is too 'unwieldy', you can start the sentence with something like, "All the same, he's been around for a while now."
"I would rather be passed where ever(wherever - one word) he is, so when we leave, we just hop in the car and floor it."
I'm also not too sure whether "rather be passed" makes clear sense for all readers. I had to read it twice, three times, but still don't know what you meant to say.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Your story is certainly eerie. I enjoyed the read as well as the excellent story-telling skills. Apart from what I point out below, the dialogue flowed well and consistently.
My brother Dave asks(asked - it would be better to remain consistent in the past tense), "So how do you know it was goat-man's place if nobody was there?"
"Oh, it's his place," as he laughs(laughed), "there's nobody who would ever live in this place.
"I ain't never heard anyone talk about this," said Dave. "And how's come we've never heard of goat-man before?"
"He's been around for a while now," Tom said.[This dialogue does not cohere. You could do that by, for example, a word like nevertheless: "He's nevertheless been around for a while now." When that word is too 'unwieldy', you can start the sentence with something like, "All the same, he's been around for a while now."
"I would rather be passed where ever(wherever - one word) he is, so when we leave, we just hop in the car and floor it."
I'm also not too sure whether "rather be passed" makes clear sense for all readers. I had to read it twice, three times, but still don't know what you meant to say.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and critique. I appreciate it.
I went back and fixed the errors you pointed out. Thank you.
Comment from Dan Diego
I can tell by the rich details that this is both true and eerie. I think it is a noble entry in the contest and should draw a lot of attention. I did check for spelling and grammar - I think you're okay there. Here are my notes on punctuation:
You wrote: "...and cruise town.
I suggest: "...and cruise the town.
You wrote: "...added to the story. " Danny ..."
I suggest: "...added to the story." Danny ..." there is a rogue space before Danny
You wrote: "Me too," said I,
I suggest: "Me too," said I. end with a period and not the comma
Good luck with voters.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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I can tell by the rich details that this is both true and eerie. I think it is a noble entry in the contest and should draw a lot of attention. I did check for spelling and grammar - I think you're okay there. Here are my notes on punctuation:
You wrote: "...and cruise town.
I suggest: "...and cruise the town.
You wrote: "...added to the story. " Danny ..."
I suggest: "...added to the story." Danny ..." there is a rogue space before Danny
You wrote: "Me too," said I,
I suggest: "Me too," said I. end with a period and not the comma
Good luck with voters.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review and critique.
Comment from damommy
That is definitely eerie. I'm glad there was no violence or vandalism. Too many times, someone like Goat-Man would suffer people's meanness.
You learned a lesson, not to bother the poor old soul. You're right - today, you might get shot. I enjoyed your story very much.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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That is definitely eerie. I'm glad there was no violence or vandalism. Too many times, someone like Goat-Man would suffer people's meanness.
You learned a lesson, not to bother the poor old soul. You're right - today, you might get shot. I enjoyed your story very much.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2018
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Thank you for your review.