Worlds
Viewing comments for Chapter 225 "Aardvark World 10"Animal poetry and short stories
23 total reviews
Comment from Spitfire
Sounds like a prediction for the future due to the geographical conditions changing on our planet and others too. Who knows? Great and possible reference to altered DNA. Methinks the crew was better off in outer space.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2017
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Sounds like a prediction for the future due to the geographical conditions changing on our planet and others too. Who knows? Great and possible reference to altered DNA. Methinks the crew was better off in outer space.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2017
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Zoo knows?
Comment from estory
The characters are well delineated in this dialogue, you get a sense of the different ambitions and personalities of the characters, you have some great colloquialisms that work to separate them. But it does seem to come out of nowhere and go nowhere. I think it would be better if you had a clear sense of direction here, have something happen that takes us from A to B emotionally. We need a reason why we should care about these characters, a clear sense of what the conflict is, who the protagonists and antagonists are and what the conflict is about estory
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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The characters are well delineated in this dialogue, you get a sense of the different ambitions and personalities of the characters, you have some great colloquialisms that work to separate them. But it does seem to come out of nowhere and go nowhere. I think it would be better if you had a clear sense of direction here, have something happen that takes us from A to B emotionally. We need a reason why we should care about these characters, a clear sense of what the conflict is, who the protagonists and antagonists are and what the conflict is about estory
Comment Written 27-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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This is the fifth scene in the story. It begins in Aardvark World 6. Thank you for your kind review. BillYhanks, Sharon
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I understand its in the middle of something, but I still think as an installment, it still has to go somewhere. anywhere. estory
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Yes, you're right. This little play was a departure from my typical Animal World posts. Once I get to 10, I shut them down and change up. It was time to bring the curtain down on the aardvark, so I may have rushed them to the planet without much aplomb.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Well done as always. Good story and well told.
Love the animal pictures as well.
You seem to have a knack for creating this style and making your story easy to 'see'.
Sharon
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Well done as always. Good story and well told.
Love the animal pictures as well.
You seem to have a knack for creating this style and making your story easy to 'see'.
Sharon
Comment Written 27-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Thanks, Sharon
Comment from Dean Kuch
Oh, man!
I hate when that happens, Bill!
Slipping through a crack in the time warp continuum can be both dangerous and very painful at times.
There's one saving grace, however--one bright lining to a very dark group of clouds.
At least you don't remember it.
Funny stuff, myfiend friend.
Uniquely...odd...
~Dean
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Oh, man!
I hate when that happens, Bill!
Slipping through a crack in the time warp continuum can be both dangerous and very painful at times.
There's one saving grace, however--one bright lining to a very dark group of clouds.
At least you don't remember it.
Funny stuff, my
Uniquely...odd...
~Dean
Comment Written 27-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Thanks, Dean, for the nice review. The time slip (skizzle) and peach trees line the streets.
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Sure thing, Bill.
Anytime.
(skizzle)...Dean
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Good morning, Bill: aahhhaa...Wow! What an ending. I must remember to go all the way back to the beginning of this story to follow it through to the end. I do remember reading one or two of the other chapters and I enjoyed them as I enjoyed the ending. This was a very creative idea for the whole crew to "revert to their DNA types minus any human attributes. Their ship burned up in the outer atmosphere, and all memory of their previous lives fell away with the new reality of which they were now a part. "
Interesting...and I do love the gorgeous pictures of the Polar Bears in the end in which two of the crew became these bears. Great job, Bill!
(Check the word atmosphere, third line from the end of story, it is missing the "P")
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Good morning, Bill: aahhhaa...Wow! What an ending. I must remember to go all the way back to the beginning of this story to follow it through to the end. I do remember reading one or two of the other chapters and I enjoyed them as I enjoyed the ending. This was a very creative idea for the whole crew to "revert to their DNA types minus any human attributes. Their ship burned up in the outer atmosphere, and all memory of their previous lives fell away with the new reality of which they were now a part. "
Interesting...and I do love the gorgeous pictures of the Polar Bears in the end in which two of the crew became these bears. Great job, Bill!
(Check the word atmosphere, third line from the end of story, it is missing the "P")
Comment Written 27-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Thanks, Tier, for the great review. Bill
Comment from Gloria ....
Haaaaaaa, I love that line, what are you saying? You are totally incomprehendable. Now that is a line worth remindering.
haha, the time-slip phenomenon. That's a real thing, isn't it? I'm pretty sure I remember some time slips.
Super job with this fun script, Bill. It's really quite brilliant and completely unique!
Gloria
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Haaaaaaa, I love that line, what are you saying? You are totally incomprehendable. Now that is a line worth remindering.
haha, the time-slip phenomenon. That's a real thing, isn't it? I'm pretty sure I remember some time slips.
Super job with this fun script, Bill. It's really quite brilliant and completely unique!
Gloria
Comment Written 26-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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That word might not exist, but it sounded like it ought to. The explanation of time sli -- ((skizzle) -- since the dawn of modern frog gigging.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I'm glad they got that human DNA out. We have enough problems with people being people. Add animals to the mix and you're asking for trouble beyond anything man has cooked up. :)
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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I'm glad they got that human DNA out. We have enough problems with people being people. Add animals to the mix and you're asking for trouble beyond anything man has cooked up. :)
Comment Written 26-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2017
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Planet 9 will be an ice place to visit, but everyone should stay in their vehicles.
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LOL! :)
Comment from Liberty Justice
Very interesting science fiction story with Gorilla, Plutonian, and others. Seems they are headed to Planet 9. Very entertaining and filled with suspense and humor. Check mine out, also. WELL DONE, INDEED! liberty justice
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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Very interesting science fiction story with Gorilla, Plutonian, and others. Seems they are headed to Planet 9. Very entertaining and filled with suspense and humor. Check mine out, also. WELL DONE, INDEED! liberty justice
Comment Written 26-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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Thanks, LJ
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Remember to check out my profile, also, right now, and good luck in contest, today. Thank-you!
Comment from nomi338
I was just about to award you with six --- (skizzle). Very creative work there Bill. I think that this --- (skizzle) works very well. Maybe you can use it in other ways to avoid unpleasant incidents. Like traffic tickets, being chewed out by the boss, but I don't know if you would enjoy life as a Polar Bear.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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I was just about to award you with six --- (skizzle). Very creative work there Bill. I think that this --- (skizzle) works very well. Maybe you can use it in other ways to avoid unpleasant incidents. Like traffic tickets, being chewed out by the boss, but I don't know if you would enjoy life as a Polar Bear.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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Man! The time shift has cost me a star.
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Sorry dude (skizzle). Maybe next time.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Bill. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed your story and think this is a good wrap up with them all reverting to their own DNA. Bear was my favorite and you did a great job with the phonetic accent. (BTW--skizzle is a great word.) Marilyn
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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Hi Bill. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. I enjoyed your story and think this is a good wrap up with them all reverting to their own DNA. Bear was my favorite and you did a great job with the phonetic accent. (BTW--skizzle is a great word.) Marilyn
Comment Written 26-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2017
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Thanks, Marilyn. Have a happy new year. Bill