Worlds
Viewing comments for Chapter 234 "Walrus World 9"Animal poetry and short stories
13 total reviews
Comment from johnwilson
This is absurd satire in all its glorious colors (for me)." leaves oil slicks in oceans, and machine guns evil toads.
He uses tricky gadgets to capture all the bad guys;
like rocket powered harpoons and fish hooks in disguises." This is my favorite part.
I can't see anything to change; however, keep in mind, that once I see something I really like, I can't really dissect it!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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This is absurd satire in all its glorious colors (for me)." leaves oil slicks in oceans, and machine guns evil toads.
He uses tricky gadgets to capture all the bad guys;
like rocket powered harpoons and fish hooks in disguises." This is my favorite part.
I can't see anything to change; however, keep in mind, that once I see something I really like, I can't really dissect it!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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Thanks, John, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Dean Kuch
007, a true aquatic hero if ever I've heard of one, Bill.
Of course, you DO know what a walrus and a tupperware container have in common, right?
They both like a tight seal.
tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...
"Hello, I'm Mike Walrus, and this is 60 Seconds"
"We're here in Hong Kong to bring you a story that may shock and horrify some viewers. This city is a beehive of industry and activity, a monument to free enterprise and commerce, but behind these shops and warehouses, hidden from public view, is the sordid story of a condiment gone terribly wrong.
"I'm talking about duck sauce. You've probably seen or tried it before, those little orange packets tossed in with your Chinese take-out meals. But look closely at them...those little floating bits aren't apricot...they're real duck!
"Yes, it's a tragic tale of waterfowl laid waste, an underground industry that reaps millions of export dollars and is depleting the duck population all around the South China Sea.
"We tracked several shipments of duck sauce to a clandestine factory here, operating under the name Duk Tu Gu Enterprises. We went to the office of its manager, Mr. Chum Lee, to get some answers."
*knock* *knock*
"Hello? Mr. Lee? It's Mike Walrus, of 60 Seconds, I'd like to ask you a few questions."
(A secretary cracks the door open.) "What you want?" (The sound of quacking fills the room within.)
"We want to talk to Mr. Lee about duck sauce. Are those ducks I hear?"
"Mr. Lee busy! No duck sauce here, that crickets, big crickets. Go way!"
(A duck squeezes through the door and waddles off down the hallway.)
"So ... what was that?"
"Pet. Mr. Lee love ducks, have many pet ducks. Now go!" *SLAM*!
"We obviously weren't going to get any answers at the front door, so we tried the back. A service door in the alley behind was open, and we took a look inside with our cameras."
(shouting) "You can see we are" *quack* *quack* WHAMP "inside an actual duck sauce" *quack* *QUACK* WHAMP "operation, and it is brutal" *quack* WHAMP "indeed. The ducks appear to be" *quack* *quack* WHAMP "carried along this conveyor belt to" *QUACK* WHAMP "a large hydraulic press. There are" *quack* WHAMP "feathers everywhere, it's a horrifying" *QUAAAAACK* WHAMP "sight in here."
"We left when several workers approached, but escaped with our film intact. We were also able to contact a former owner of another duck sauce factory who had since left the business, and who agreed to be interviewed on camera if we concealed his identity."
(silhouette of man with electronically altered voice)
"Yes, many, many ducks squashed to make duck sauce. In my factory was used big press, also steamroller, sometime use big blender. Also use dynamite, but that not leave enough duck."
"Authorities have pledged to step up investigations, hiring well known agent 007 Walrus. But little progress has been made so far. Robert Drake, Chief Inspector of the Hong Kong Police Department's outgunned and understaffed Duck Crimes Division, declined to be interviewed, but told us in a letter that' the bottom line is, as long as people want duck sauce, there will be a duck sauce trade.'
"This concludes our report for this week's 60 Seconds. Join us next week when we learn the shocking truth behind goose grease."
Sometimes I quack myself up, heh-heh-heh...
~Dean
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
|
007, a true aquatic hero if ever I've heard of one, Bill.
Of course, you DO know what a walrus and a tupperware container have in common, right?
They both like a tight seal.
tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...
"Hello, I'm Mike Walrus, and this is 60 Seconds"
"We're here in Hong Kong to bring you a story that may shock and horrify some viewers. This city is a beehive of industry and activity, a monument to free enterprise and commerce, but behind these shops and warehouses, hidden from public view, is the sordid story of a condiment gone terribly wrong.
"I'm talking about duck sauce. You've probably seen or tried it before, those little orange packets tossed in with your Chinese take-out meals. But look closely at them...those little floating bits aren't apricot...they're real duck!
"Yes, it's a tragic tale of waterfowl laid waste, an underground industry that reaps millions of export dollars and is depleting the duck population all around the South China Sea.
"We tracked several shipments of duck sauce to a clandestine factory here, operating under the name Duk Tu Gu Enterprises. We went to the office of its manager, Mr. Chum Lee, to get some answers."
*knock* *knock*
"Hello? Mr. Lee? It's Mike Walrus, of 60 Seconds, I'd like to ask you a few questions."
(A secretary cracks the door open.) "What you want?" (The sound of quacking fills the room within.)
"We want to talk to Mr. Lee about duck sauce. Are those ducks I hear?"
"Mr. Lee busy! No duck sauce here, that crickets, big crickets. Go way!"
(A duck squeezes through the door and waddles off down the hallway.)
"So ... what was that?"
"Pet. Mr. Lee love ducks, have many pet ducks. Now go!" *SLAM*!
"We obviously weren't going to get any answers at the front door, so we tried the back. A service door in the alley behind was open, and we took a look inside with our cameras."
(shouting) "You can see we are" *quack* *quack* WHAMP "inside an actual duck sauce" *quack* *QUACK* WHAMP "operation, and it is brutal" *quack* WHAMP "indeed. The ducks appear to be" *quack* *quack* WHAMP "carried along this conveyor belt to" *QUACK* WHAMP "a large hydraulic press. There are" *quack* WHAMP "feathers everywhere, it's a horrifying" *QUAAAAACK* WHAMP "sight in here."
"We left when several workers approached, but escaped with our film intact. We were also able to contact a former owner of another duck sauce factory who had since left the business, and who agreed to be interviewed on camera if we concealed his identity."
(silhouette of man with electronically altered voice)
"Yes, many, many ducks squashed to make duck sauce. In my factory was used big press, also steamroller, sometime use big blender. Also use dynamite, but that not leave enough duck."
"Authorities have pledged to step up investigations, hiring well known agent 007 Walrus. But little progress has been made so far. Robert Drake, Chief Inspector of the Hong Kong Police Department's outgunned and understaffed Duck Crimes Division, declined to be interviewed, but told us in a letter that' the bottom line is, as long as people want duck sauce, there will be a duck sauce trade.'
"This concludes our report for this week's 60 Seconds. Join us next week when we learn the shocking truth behind goose grease."
Sometimes I quack myself up, heh-heh-heh...
~Dean
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
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I'm speechless, Dean. I wasn't aware of this investigative report on duck sauce. Shocking, to say the least. And to think that my hero was in the middle of the take down was amazing to hear.
Thank you for this incredible response to this poem. Bill
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Hahaha, sure thing, Bill.
Anytime my friend.
~Dean :)
Comment from Ronni
What a peculiar fellow....could apply to more than just this one...
but your exposing the absurdity and nerdity of such a weird one
and all his tech and supposedly sporty and snobbish lifestyle
and attitudes is most revealing and logically analyzed...which is
a really big help to the reader.
Thanks for sharing...
Ronni
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
|
What a peculiar fellow....could apply to more than just this one...
but your exposing the absurdity and nerdity of such a weird one
and all his tech and supposedly sporty and snobbish lifestyle
and attitudes is most revealing and logically analyzed...which is
a really big help to the reader.
Thanks for sharing...
Ronni
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2017
-
Thanks, Ronni, for checking this out.