Unwanted Dog
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter 3: King Tubbo"A short autobiography
12 total reviews
Comment from bhogg
Some trivial suggestions for your excellent post, many from the school of less is more.
do that if he so desired to - do so if he desired
It may as well have been me - may as well be me (have been is passive)
what I am darkening your door for - why I'm darkening your door
discuss with me at this time - don't need 'at this time'. You've already established the time
capitol - a building, should be capital
wasn't but a trickle of them at that time, had been talking about this event for the last month- awkward sentence, maybe, 'trickle of them, talked. had been seems passive
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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Some trivial suggestions for your excellent post, many from the school of less is more.
do that if he so desired to - do so if he desired
It may as well have been me - may as well be me (have been is passive)
what I am darkening your door for - why I'm darkening your door
discuss with me at this time - don't need 'at this time'. You've already established the time
capitol - a building, should be capital
wasn't but a trickle of them at that time, had been talking about this event for the last month- awkward sentence, maybe, 'trickle of them, talked. had been seems passive
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of my autobiography.
Have had many, many reviews so still playing catch up with my responses. That is why the delay.
Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. Some kids seem to be in trouble for whatever they do or sometimes don't do. The staff of these homes were using the ones who often don't low the rules to do things that are not prescribed.
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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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A very well-written chapter. Some kids seem to be in trouble for whatever they do or sometimes don't do. The staff of these homes were using the ones who often don't low the rules to do things that are not prescribed.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Thanks.