2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "River Walk"A collection of Japanese poetry
23 total reviews
Comment from Rasmine
This is beautiful. A tree shaped like a G cool! I love misshaped trees--very artistic and prone to be in haunted house movies cause they look spooky.
Happy Mother's Day. Just treat yourself like a Goddess because you have worked your butt off when your children were little. You deserve it.
Do you always have to have a pen and a notepad with you? I do. I feel lost without it. One time in McDonald's I borrowed a pen from the restaurant because I forgot mine--omg I was so lost. :P
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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This is beautiful. A tree shaped like a G cool! I love misshaped trees--very artistic and prone to be in haunted house movies cause they look spooky.
Happy Mother's Day. Just treat yourself like a Goddess because you have worked your butt off when your children were little. You deserve it.
Do you always have to have a pen and a notepad with you? I do. I feel lost without it. One time in McDonald's I borrowed a pen from the restaurant because I forgot mine--omg I was so lost. :P
Comment Written 14-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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i usually have a pen with me but i didn't so i used my phone. i emailed myself the poems. hehehe Thank you :) my friend, you are very kind. :)
gypsy
Comment from Dean Kuch
"Tree shaped like a "g"..." as in, "Gee! Look at that oddly shaped tree formed like a "g".
I must admit, the significance of the "g" shaped tree escapes me at the moment. Unless you're referring to your pseudonym, of course--Gypsy... That, I get.
At least as it pertains to this haiku suite.
Good two-lined haiku in your second offering.
You don't see many of those here but there are a plethora of them on the internet.
Nice subtle use of alliteration with "baby boomers."
As for the last haiku, again, I didn't quite make the connection between "neon" and "red rose."
Was the rose simply so vibrantly red that it appeared to glow like neon? Or perhaps it was some sort of sign for a business you spotted along your walk.
Like a floral shop for example.
I really enjoyed the satori in your third haiku.
It evokes that tell-tale 'Ah-ha!' moment of insight that haiku is so well known for.
Overall, this is a wonderfully well orchestrated string of haiku, dear Gypsy.
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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"Tree shaped like a "g"..." as in, "Gee! Look at that oddly shaped tree formed like a "g".
I must admit, the significance of the "g" shaped tree escapes me at the moment. Unless you're referring to your pseudonym, of course--Gypsy... That, I get.
At least as it pertains to this haiku suite.
Good two-lined haiku in your second offering.
You don't see many of those here but there are a plethora of them on the internet.
Nice subtle use of alliteration with "baby boomers."
As for the last haiku, again, I didn't quite make the connection between "neon" and "red rose."
Was the rose simply so vibrantly red that it appeared to glow like neon? Or perhaps it was some sort of sign for a business you spotted along your walk.
Like a floral shop for example.
I really enjoyed the satori in your third haiku.
It evokes that tell-tale 'Ah-ha!' moment of insight that haiku is so well known for.
Overall, this is a wonderfully well orchestrated string of haiku, dear Gypsy.
Comment Written 14-May-2017
reply by the author on 15-May-2017
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If you read Basho you will find that haiku do not have to have double meaning or twist at the end all the time. Sometimes they are observations. In fact, most of Basho's haiku are observations. I was observing my surroundings. The tree looked like the letter 'g' (as I said) and the red rose was super bright in the sun. it was a mix of orange and red very very bright. Neon was the best way I could describe it at the moment. I was sitting on a bench by the river.
Thank you
gypsy
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Okay, I was just asking.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Walking on the river sounds like a great way to get a person's day started off on the right track; especially, a poet who is always looking for ideas and motivation. Thanks for another fine poem. :-)
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Walking on the river sounds like a great way to get a person's day started off on the right track; especially, a poet who is always looking for ideas and motivation. Thanks for another fine poem. :-)
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate that you read my poem and your kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Hitcher
Three very good haiku, the second one catching my attention because of the
two lines and the third haiku because of its beauty, stunning that one Gypsy! Nice!
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Three very good haiku, the second one catching my attention because of the
two lines and the third haiku because of its beauty, stunning that one Gypsy! Nice!
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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It's okay to write haiku in two lines, Japanese do it. This is my first one :) Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate that you read my poem and your kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Gypsy, your haiku brings to my mind the beauty of your great walk. The tree shaped like *g*, the sun shining in the morning hours and one of my favorite things to do is sit on the bank and watch the movement of the river flowing by.
Hitchers haiku is excellent. With nature's passion written in red while being caressed by a cool breeze. A beautiful picture caressing my mind.
Excellent collaboration between two most excellent poets on fanstory!
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Gypsy, your haiku brings to my mind the beauty of your great walk. The tree shaped like *g*, the sun shining in the morning hours and one of my favorite things to do is sit on the bank and watch the movement of the river flowing by.
Hitchers haiku is excellent. With nature's passion written in red while being caressed by a cool breeze. A beautiful picture caressing my mind.
Excellent collaboration between two most excellent poets on fanstory!
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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River walk is my haiku, Hitcher did not write it. We collaborated on another piece but not this one. Thank you for reading, my friend, I appreciate it.
Gypsy
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for taking us on your walk with you as you distilled it into these few words. I like how the river's peace and the breeze and nature overcomes the neon noise of the fake rose.
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Thanks for taking us on your walk with you as you distilled it into these few words. I like how the river's peace and the breeze and nature overcomes the neon noise of the fake rose.
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Thank you for reading, my friend, I appreciate it.
Gypsy
Comment from pbomar1115
It sounds like a wonderful sunny day when two people in their early to middle sixties walking leisurely along the bank gazing at a stream and probably making plans for a
vacation or dinner.
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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It sounds like a wonderful sunny day when two people in their early to middle sixties walking leisurely along the bank gazing at a stream and probably making plans for a
vacation or dinner.
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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I'm not sixty yet. I retired early. Thank you for reading, my friend, I appreciate it.
Gypsy
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Sorry, BabyBoomer
Comment from jusylee72
this is a haiku that is loved and easily understood. It involves the reader in the nature around them and allows for life to be challenged and admired. I hope you are saving these to make a wonderful memory for your family.
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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this is a haiku that is loved and easily understood. It involves the reader in the nature around them and allows for life to be challenged and admired. I hope you are saving these to make a wonderful memory for your family.
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Thank you for reading, my friend, I appreciate it.
Gypsy
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We are inside by our surroundings and you have been by yours and nature provides such great inspiration for our writing, your poem is uplifting and joyful, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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We are inside by our surroundings and you have been by yours and nature provides such great inspiration for our writing, your poem is uplifting and joyful, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Thank you for reading, my friend, I appreciate it.
Gypsy
Comment from Mark Schardine
This poem shows the seemingly random variety of things we see, hear, and upon which we comment. I have this question: Does the bright color of a red rose overtrump a neon sign?
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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This poem shows the seemingly random variety of things we see, hear, and upon which we comment. I have this question: Does the bright color of a red rose overtrump a neon sign?
Comment Written 13-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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The rose was neon red... like a mix of bright red and bright orange... it looked neon. Thank you for reading, my friend, I appreciate it.
Gypsy