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Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "A Matter of Pure Luck"
Scripts

14 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written script, the last scene with the old people with all their ailments and conditions complaining while they should actually live life with the time they still have left. Lol.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2017

Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I have to say, Michael, this script format is taking a little getting used to. But, once I start to see it as a play or movie it really gets interesting to me. LOVE the bit with the caveman doctors. It is just hilarious once I picture it in my mind. I hope you keep experimenting with this. You are on to something. NG

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2017

Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
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Michael, I enjoyed this and I applaud you for writing prose and a play, to boot. Your dialogue is good and kept me engaged. I particularly enjoyed the soliloquies of the Old Man and of Our Hero. Their dialogue tied the scenes together. I can imagine them addressing the audience:

OLD MAN:
Back then medicine was in its infancy. They didn't even have a name for tonsils. They called 'em 'mini-throat punching bags'. The adenoids were called 'those-other-things-we-can't-find-a-use-for-so-we-may-as-well-hack-them-out-too-things'.

The Old Man reminded me of Alistair Cooke introducing Masterpiece Theatre. Your opening scene with the Neanderthal doctors was creative as well.

I found one punctuation error: Add comma,"I used my grandma's health and my mom(')s to gauge my . . ."

Read plays and see them to improve your playwright skills further.

Thank you for sharing your personal healthcare concerns in a way that was creative and also resonates today.

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 Comment Written 20-Mar-2017

Comment from ~Dovey
Excellent
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Hi Mikey,

Your dialogue in each act of the play comes across as plausible to me. Of course the Hero has to be a stud, well into his old age... otherwise we'd never believe it was you. :)

Great job on a unique way to answer this week's Potlatch challenge!

Hey... I just sponsored the NaPoWriMo contest for this year. You are cordially invited to join us!!

Kim

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 Comment Written 19-Mar-2017