Time Travels
contest entry23 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
But no matter how much we reshape them with our thoughts and beliefs, the clock ticks and ticks. A watched pot boils and hours can be lost. Excellent four-liner.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
But no matter how much we reshape them with our thoughts and beliefs, the clock ticks and ticks. A watched pot boils and hours can be lost. Excellent four-liner.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Yes - and 'time and tides wait for no man'. Glad you liked this four-liner. Appreciate your thoughts. Cheers ... ;o)
Comment from IndianaIrish
This is excellent, TimeKat! I love the enjambment and think that's the most vital part of these 4-line poems that makes them poetic. "wrapped in perspective" is a brilliant description of time and how each person views the moments in their life. Outstanding thoughtful poem, and I hope it does well in the contest.
Smiles,
WrappedIndy :-)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
This is excellent, TimeKat! I love the enjambment and think that's the most vital part of these 4-line poems that makes them poetic. "wrapped in perspective" is a brilliant description of time and how each person views the moments in their life. Outstanding thoughtful poem, and I hope it does well in the contest.
Smiles,
WrappedIndy :-)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Ah, WrappedIndy. Thanks for the wonderful review and special rating! So glad you enjoyed the message wrapped within the enjambment. Do appreciate all your comments. Cheers ... ;o) TimeKat
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
A truly beautiful and thoughtful conceptual entry. I really enjoyed reading this a very special poem and beautifully presented. Kind regards and good luck, Meia :)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
A truly beautiful and thoughtful conceptual entry. I really enjoyed reading this a very special poem and beautifully presented. Kind regards and good luck, Meia :)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Meia. Glad you enjoyed this poem and presentation. Appreciate all your comments. Cheers ... ;o) Art
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Art,
This is a nice selection for the 4 line poetry contest. I think you've taken a unique approach and have matched the designated syllable counts per line perfectly. The presentation is lovely.
Good luck in the contest.
Kim
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
Hi Art,
This is a nice selection for the 4 line poetry contest. I think you've taken a unique approach and have matched the designated syllable counts per line perfectly. The presentation is lovely.
Good luck in the contest.
Kim
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the wonderful review, Kim. Glad you liked this poem. Do appreciate all your comments.
Cheers ... ;o) Art
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah, and the destination those travels lead to is completely dependent on the mind that's doin' the travelin', StarKat.
Some will take you to heaven, while others will lead you straight to...you know.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
Yeah, and the destination those travels lead to is completely dependent on the mind that's doin' the travelin', StarKat.
Some will take you to heaven, while others will lead you straight to...you know.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Dean. It's the mind that matters. Our finite little minds begin as young skulls filled with mush. Then differing realities help form perspectives as tick-tocks of clocks grow louder. We waddle, walk and then run helter skelter. Living in the 'Here and Now' becomes more difficult. Perhaps we get trapped in the Twilight Zone before a Star Trek ship arrives and whisks us to Jupiter and beyond. The fear of being swallowed by a Black Hole is present as we could get digested and pooped out into an unknown universe where nightmares toy with us for an infinity.
Appreciate your comments ... and happy trails until we meet again.
Cheers ... ;~> starkat
Comment from RodG
I like how your four-line poem describes time. Perhaps because I watch too much Star Trek, I share the skepticism of time travel the Vulcans have because of their belief in logic (I. E.--"filtered through mind").
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
I like how your four-line poem describes time. Perhaps because I watch too much Star Trek, I share the skepticism of time travel the Vulcans have because of their belief in logic (I. E.--"filtered through mind").
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Good old logical Spock. Time is simply a series of events. One thing happens, and then another. There is a before and after. If time had a beginning, what was happening two hours before it began? Our little finite brain cannot be expected to understand infinity. Perhaps we can learn to warp space and time to venture to other galaxies. We'll need to use robots.
Glad you liked this poem. Cheers .... ;o)
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Very, very good. This works. It has philosophy, rhyme and structure.
I like it a lotted it conforms well to rules.
Well done and good luck!
Hayley:)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
Very, very good. This works. It has philosophy, rhyme and structure.
I like it a lotted it conforms well to rules.
Well done and good luck!
Hayley:)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Hayley
Glad you enjoyed this four line poem. Appreciate all your comments.
Cheers ... ;o) starkat
Comment from rama devi
love the prhasing wrapped in perspective. Brilliant! Love the musicality in this short poem and the flow adn rhymes. The meaning is penetrating adn true. Well done and finely presented. Just one nit in capitalization of Past, Present, and Future. I suggest just using a cap on Past and then letting the rest be normal:
Past
present and future
Then the enjambment is more clear and it aligns with the rest of the poem. Capping them for emphasis actually distracts rather than enhances, in this case, I believe.
Good luck in the contest!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
love the prhasing wrapped in perspective. Brilliant! Love the musicality in this short poem and the flow adn rhymes. The meaning is penetrating adn true. Well done and finely presented. Just one nit in capitalization of Past, Present, and Future. I suggest just using a cap on Past and then letting the rest be normal:
Past
present and future
Then the enjambment is more clear and it aligns with the rest of the poem. Capping them for emphasis actually distracts rather than enhances, in this case, I believe.
Good luck in the contest!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the helpful review, rd. I took your advice and de-capped present and future. It does look better and I agree that capping them for emphasis was a distraction. Glad you liked this poem's phrasing and rhymes.
Appreciate all your comments.
Cheers ... ;o) Art
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Thanks for your gracious response, dear friend. Big warm smiles, rd
Comment from marybell1
I have given you five stars as although you kept to the rules of the number of syllables and lines the last line appeared forced. The subject was good.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
I have given you five stars as although you kept to the rules of the number of syllables and lines the last line appeared forced. The subject was good.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thanks. Glad you liked the subject. Appreciate your comments and the 5 stars. Cheers ... ;o) starkat
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You are welcome.
Marybell1.
Comment from moonsunrise
I really enjoyed your four line poem with imagery. It is so true how, past, present and future are are moments in time filtered in our minds.
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
I really enjoyed your four line poem with imagery. It is so true how, past, present and future are are moments in time filtered in our minds.
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thanks, moonsunrise. Glad you enjoyed this poem. Appreciate your comments. Cheers ... ;o) starkat