2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "haiku ( ivy and skyrise )"A collection of Japanese poetry
21 total reviews
Comment from Lu Saluna
this is outstanding!
I love the concrete imagery and vision I get in my mind from the first two lines.
Ecobalance on an ivy highrise - perfect
your satori - "veggie wrap" Oh! this is the best! I am overwhelmed with this satori.
If you don't place I will be surprised.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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this is outstanding!
I love the concrete imagery and vision I get in my mind from the first two lines.
Ecobalance on an ivy highrise - perfect
your satori - "veggie wrap" Oh! this is the best! I am overwhelmed with this satori.
If you don't place I will be surprised.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Hello, honey,
I had the boys help me with this one. I am not sure about the light quality. You and someone else brought it up to my attention. Twilight and the glow doesn't go with the picture. I will take a look.
Thank you :) mwah!
Gypsy
Comment from Jackarrie
Hi Gypsy
I like this haiku about how nature and concrete is a normal vision of today. Nature is nature, our need for technology is another, as long as we respect nature, that is the main thing.
nature and concrete
dance in Paris glow
sustained twilight
Well done Mary
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Hi Gypsy
I like this haiku about how nature and concrete is a normal vision of today. Nature is nature, our need for technology is another, as long as we respect nature, that is the main thing.
nature and concrete
dance in Paris glow
sustained twilight
Well done Mary
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Mary :)
Gypsy
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Your welcome
Comment from BOO ghost
Follows the guidelines. Green is a nature color that blends with the trees in the picture. Vines and shrubbery is in tangle with the concrete jungle. Nice visual image which represents the lush words which are original and has its unique signature. Is a dandy. Good luck in the contest! BOO!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Follows the guidelines. Green is a nature color that blends with the trees in the picture. Vines and shrubbery is in tangle with the concrete jungle. Nice visual image which represents the lush words which are original and has its unique signature. Is a dandy. Good luck in the contest! BOO!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Boo :) You are the bomb!
Gypsy Girl
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yeah, I blow myself up, unfortunately. BOO!
Comment from Sis Cat
Haiku reminded me of my trips to Paris where I saw buildings "dance." They are doing things with architecture there I have seen before. I can see by your picture they have kept up this dance. Your haiku is distinct in this contest in that you focus on the positive energies of haiku. All the other haikus I have read so far have been on homelessness. Here you celebrate nature and concrete merging together, dancing together to create a sustained twilight. Thank you for sharing. Wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Haiku reminded me of my trips to Paris where I saw buildings "dance." They are doing things with architecture there I have seen before. I can see by your picture they have kept up this dance. Your haiku is distinct in this contest in that you focus on the positive energies of haiku. All the other haikus I have read so far have been on homelessness. Here you celebrate nature and concrete merging together, dancing together to create a sustained twilight. Thank you for sharing. Wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Andre, your reviews always give me a good feeling about my writing and I appreciate your constructive criticism when you give it, too. Wow, you travel all over the world. Lucky you. Last time Venice and this time Paris, you amaze me. What an interesting life you lead. I would love to come to San Francisco to see you perform, one of this days. I live in Sacramento so we are not too far. Anyway... thank you, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment from judiverse
I like the juxtaposition of nature and concrete. The two can co-exist. The city where I live has plants in the medians on some of the major streets, and they add some color. They say that a city never sleeps, and I'm sure that's true of Paris. The light and life continues all night. Lovely presentation. judi
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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I like the juxtaposition of nature and concrete. The two can co-exist. The city where I live has plants in the medians on some of the major streets, and they add some color. They say that a city never sleeps, and I'm sure that's true of Paris. The light and life continues all night. Lovely presentation. judi
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Judi, you really understand my haiku. Thank you for the in-depth review, you are very kind.
Gypsy
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You're very welcome, and much success as you continue with your Haiku classes. judi
Comment from Sasha
Considering the strict rules for this one, you did an excellent job with this contest entry. I like it very much. The illustration accents the subject and adds to the meaning you convey with this one. Very, very nice entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Considering the strict rules for this one, you did an excellent job with this contest entry. I like it very much. The illustration accents the subject and adds to the meaning you convey with this one. Very, very nice entry for this contest and I wish you all the best.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Judi, you really understand my haiku. Thank you for the in-depth review, you are very kind.
Gypsy
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. Your words paint a beautiful city picture. Your artwork and background color completed the piece very well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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A well-written contest entry. Your words paint a beautiful city picture. Your artwork and background color completed the piece very well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Judi, you really understand my haiku. Thank you for the in-depth review, you are very kind.
Gypsy
Comment from His Grayness
Very difficult poetic structure to enable delivery of much passion or grip in so very few words allowed. The artwork and presentation makes up for most of that problem and leaves the reader with good satisfaction. I cannot offer anything to improve this work and thank the author for a fine read. HIS GRAYNESS
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Very difficult poetic structure to enable delivery of much passion or grip in so very few words allowed. The artwork and presentation makes up for most of that problem and leaves the reader with good satisfaction. I cannot offer anything to improve this work and thank the author for a fine read. HIS GRAYNESS
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Thank you, HIS GRAYNESS, you are kind and generous. I appreciate that you took the time to give me your helpful feedback. :)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Yeah...a gigantic concrete, glass, and wire veggie wrap, heh-heh-heh...
I don't think I'd wanna be munchin' on it though.
This is an outstanding haiku, Gypsy Blue Rose.
The stunning photo accompanying your haiku looks like something right out of a science fiction novel.
Awesome! ...
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Yeah...a gigantic concrete, glass, and wire veggie wrap, heh-heh-heh...
I don't think I'd wanna be munchin' on it though.
This is an outstanding haiku, Gypsy Blue Rose.
The stunning photo accompanying your haiku looks like something right out of a science fiction novel.
Awesome! ...
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Thank you, darlin',
I luv ya :)
Gypsy Sensei
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The pleasure was all mine...
~Dean ;)
Comment from Mark Valentine
5-7-5 Had I known...
I entered contest
before looking at others
too late to withdraw?
I loved your Paris haiku - wonderful!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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5-7-5 Had I known...
I entered contest
before looking at others
too late to withdraw?
I loved your Paris haiku - wonderful!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Mark, you are kind and generous. I appreciate that you took the time to give me your helpful feedback. :)