Luna's Form Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "It's Safe to Cry"a place to gather my poetic forms
35 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
With these repetitive forms one has a choice. One can make the most of the repetition, as you have done here by introducing internal rhyme into the repeated line to make it stand out (cry/good-bye), and why not as it is your theme? On the other hand some poets have the clever knack of losing the ennui of the repetition by blending it so deeply into the poem that one hardly notices. This has happened with the second line here that repeats as the last in the triolet form. Finally, although there is not an example of this here, one can vary the punctuation to create a different sense from the repeated lines.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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With these repetitive forms one has a choice. One can make the most of the repetition, as you have done here by introducing internal rhyme into the repeated line to make it stand out (cry/good-bye), and why not as it is your theme? On the other hand some poets have the clever knack of losing the ennui of the repetition by blending it so deeply into the poem that one hardly notices. This has happened with the second line here that repeats as the last in the triolet form. Finally, although there is not an example of this here, one can vary the punctuation to create a different sense from the repeated lines.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thanks, Jim, for the review and suggestion. I'll try to fix and let you know!
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I don't think there is anything here that needs fixing. this is one of the forms we will be visiting in the class, if you can bear to wait that long.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Jeni - a triolet in perfect form. The repeated line is very effective and in place. It is particularly relevant to you I know and dedicated to your son, Mickey, so your heart went in to this piece of writing. Well done. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Hi Jeni - a triolet in perfect form. The repeated line is very effective and in place. It is particularly relevant to you I know and dedicated to your son, Mickey, so your heart went in to this piece of writing. Well done. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Dorothy, for your warm review of my poem. I appreciate your continued support of my writing.
Comment from Lu Saluna
A wonderful poem, very sad and telling of what the feeling is like when someone you love goes off to fight. It must be so frightening. I don't even want to try and imagine what that must feel like.
You selected and excellent image to go with you poem, wonderful presentation.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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A wonderful poem, very sad and telling of what the feeling is like when someone you love goes off to fight. It must be so frightening. I don't even want to try and imagine what that must feel like.
You selected and excellent image to go with you poem, wonderful presentation.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Dear Lu,
Thank you for your warm review of my poem. I'm happy you thought the presentation was effective. Best wishes for a great day.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Luna, Good Triolet format and repeating line choice.
Of special note:
It's safe to cry when it's good-bye,
don't force a laugh while there you stand.
(We all try to be brave, and we all try to comfort the other ... some here comes the laughter and the smile.)
Terrific artwork choice. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Hello Luna, Good Triolet format and repeating line choice.
Of special note:
It's safe to cry when it's good-bye,
don't force a laugh while there you stand.
(We all try to be brave, and we all try to comfort the other ... some here comes the laughter and the smile.)
Terrific artwork choice. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Dear LateBloomer, I'm happy that you enjoyed the triolet and repeating line. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me on this work.
Best,
jeni
Comment from azwildrosa
Comment on this post.
What a nice poem. This has a great read to it. The rhyme flows nicely from one line to the other. This poem takes me back to days when I use to see my dad leave for yet another war. It seems so long ago. Thank you again for sharing another great read. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Comment on this post.
What a nice poem. This has a great read to it. The rhyme flows nicely from one line to the other. This poem takes me back to days when I use to see my dad leave for yet another war. It seems so long ago. Thank you again for sharing another great read. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you, azwildrosa, for your warm review and sharing your memory with me. I'm happy to have you to support my poetry portfolio.'
Best wishes for a great day,
jeni
Comment from Irish Rain
I love this. 'It's safe to cry'...what a beautiful phrase that needs to be said. So hard to send someone off, not knowing if they'll be back. Yes, tears are safe. Beautiful triolet. Blessings...
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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I love this. 'It's safe to cry'...what a beautiful phrase that needs to be said. So hard to send someone off, not knowing if they'll be back. Yes, tears are safe. Beautiful triolet. Blessings...
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you, dear Irish Rain. I'm glad that you enjoyed this poem. Yes, tears ARE safe, aren't they? Took me a very long time to learn that important life lesson.
Blessings on your day
jeni
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I still have a problem with crying...usually I have to wait til I'm overly upset, or in a blind rage, not good, ha ha
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especially the blind rage part lol
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I KNOW!!!!!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Luna,
your picture and Triolet go together very well
Very emotional when one goes off to the desert to fight
Let the tears flow.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Hello Luna,
your picture and Triolet go together very well
Very emotional when one goes off to the desert to fight
Let the tears flow.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Gert, for reading my poem and letting me have your thoughts. I appreciate your support of my writing!
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You are welcome Luna
Gert
Comment from ProSongwriter
Hi jeni,,
This is a very appropriate poem for the current world situation and our involvement in it. And i fully agree with you ... crying is a good thing when the situation calls for it ... it's not a weakness. It's a strength for your emotions and feelings to reveal themselves. And, it's somewhat cathartic. You said it so wonderfully. Excellent!
Warmest wishes and hugs,
Alan
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Hi jeni,,
This is a very appropriate poem for the current world situation and our involvement in it. And i fully agree with you ... crying is a good thing when the situation calls for it ... it's not a weakness. It's a strength for your emotions and feelings to reveal themselves. And, it's somewhat cathartic. You said it so wonderfully. Excellent!
Warmest wishes and hugs,
Alan
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Dear Alan,
I'm happy you read my poem and found it appropriate. And thank you for sharing your thoughts with me regarding letting the emotions flow. I always appreciate your reviews and your support of my writing efforts.
Blessings on your day,
jeni
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I enjoy reading your poems It was my pleasure! God Bless,
Alan
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good thought. A lot of people when faced with difficult situations struggle to find the appropriate emotion. The appropriate emotion is always the one your feeling.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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A very good thought. A lot of people when faced with difficult situations struggle to find the appropriate emotion. The appropriate emotion is always the one your feeling.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Hi, Thomas! Thanks for reading my poem and leaving me your thoughts. I appreciate your continued support of my writing efforts.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Jeni. You sure know your poetry, don't you? This triolet is so full of emotion and meloncholy. I'll bet it really hits home with many wives /husbands of people deployed to those mideastern countries. Blessings, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Hi, Jeni. You sure know your poetry, don't you? This triolet is so full of emotion and meloncholy. I'll bet it really hits home with many wives /husbands of people deployed to those mideastern countries. Blessings, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you for your warm words bob. I'm very flattered. I think it does hit home with the people affected by military deployment. Blessings right back, my friend.
Jeni
