2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "haiku ( Clear Water )"A collection of Japanese poetry
19 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
This is so much fun, Gypsy! I really liked this haiku. It's fun and smart and so enjoyable! Clever, clever, clever! I really saw the imagery in this one! Yay!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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This is so much fun, Gypsy! I really liked this haiku. It's fun and smart and so enjoyable! Clever, clever, clever! I really saw the imagery in this one! Yay!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Robyn :) you are very sweet. *red face*
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Grasshopper2
Hi Gypsy,
First, this is another excxellent visual presentation. The photo, the font, all of the colors are genuinely attractive. Second, your haiku syllable counts of 3 3 4 adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short
haiku form. At just 10 syllables, it is well within the limits of seventeen syllables, or less, which the haiku form needs.
Your first two lines display a clear grammatical connection and reveal detailed imagery in the present tense. The haiku is a current observation of a moment in time captured in nature. You show discipline with good choices of words and with a total word count of 8, you display excellent use in word economy.
Your kigo (seasonal reference) of an owlet is in the Japanese Kigo Dictionary online. Your satori is a brief summarization of the phrase which comes in the two earlier lines before it. This is an exceptionally well-written haiku.
Blessings,
Grasshopper2
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Hi Gypsy,
First, this is another excxellent visual presentation. The photo, the font, all of the colors are genuinely attractive. Second, your haiku syllable counts of 3 3 4 adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short
haiku form. At just 10 syllables, it is well within the limits of seventeen syllables, or less, which the haiku form needs.
Your first two lines display a clear grammatical connection and reveal detailed imagery in the present tense. The haiku is a current observation of a moment in time captured in nature. You show discipline with good choices of words and with a total word count of 8, you display excellent use in word economy.
Your kigo (seasonal reference) of an owlet is in the Japanese Kigo Dictionary online. Your satori is a brief summarization of the phrase which comes in the two earlier lines before it. This is an exceptionally well-written haiku.
Blessings,
Grasshopper2
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Thank you, young grasshopper, your excellent and detailed review is an honor when it comes from you.
Gypsy Sensei
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You B D Best. (-: smile. LOL. My heart soars when writing haiku.
Comment from judiverse
The image of clear water drifting downstream certainly goes with Aquarius. Aquarius is my sign, but I don't pay much attention to astrology. "Go with the flow" is great conclusion. You can interpret it as not being controversial, but going the way of peace and understanding. I certainly remember the song, although I never saw the musical. Very interesting. judi
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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The image of clear water drifting downstream certainly goes with Aquarius. Aquarius is my sign, but I don't pay much attention to astrology. "Go with the flow" is great conclusion. You can interpret it as not being controversial, but going the way of peace and understanding. I certainly remember the song, although I never saw the musical. Very interesting. judi
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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thank you, Judi :)
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You're welcome. Fantastic artwork there. It makes reviewing worthwhile! judi
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Happy Birthday to Michael! Being and Aquarian I can appreciate both the gifts and drawbacks inherent in the traits of the water bearing sign. Nice haiku and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Happy Birthday to Michael! Being and Aquarian I can appreciate both the gifts and drawbacks inherent in the traits of the water bearing sign. Nice haiku and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Monica, I am grateful for your excellent review.
Gypsy Sensei
Comment from winnona
a well-written haiku. The words flowed well creating the running stream imagery. You have chosen beautiful artwork to complete the piece with. very well done.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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a well-written haiku. The words flowed well creating the running stream imagery. You have chosen beautiful artwork to complete the piece with. very well done.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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thank you
Comment from Douglas Paul
I wish I had a 6 left for this one, my friend. I think this one should be strongly considered for the book. I love your satori. This is really good
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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I wish I had a 6 left for this one, my friend. I think this one should be strongly considered for the book. I love your satori. This is really good
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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thank you, Douglas, :) my friend Michael is having a birthday on Thursday. I love him. He is one of the nicest fanstorian I know and he is a fellow hippie :)
Gypsy
Comment from Sasha
Very nice work with this haiku. The first two lines connect perfectly and the satori made me think immediately of Mike. Beautiful and artistic presentation too. I liked this one very much.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Very nice work with this haiku. The first two lines connect perfectly and the satori made me think immediately of Mike. Beautiful and artistic presentation too. I liked this one very much.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Thank you, my friend,
gypsy
Comment from Sis Cat
Another good one, Gypsy. I find that as I read more of these, I learn more and enhance my haiku aesthetics. Once again, simplicity drives your floating narrative. Using minimal words, your first two lines are well interconnected. I love your use of one verb at the beginning of line two. Your satori made me want to relax and drift away, going with the flow. Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Another good one, Gypsy. I find that as I read more of these, I learn more and enhance my haiku aesthetics. Once again, simplicity drives your floating narrative. Using minimal words, your first two lines are well interconnected. I love your use of one verb at the beginning of line two. Your satori made me want to relax and drift away, going with the flow. Thank you for sharing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Aesthetics is a huge force behind haiku composition. Japanese culture places great value on aesthetic principles. I just read a book by Kenneth Yasuda, ''the Japanese haiku, he mentioned the same thing. He also mentioned that haiku is an intuitive art form. I find that fascinating.
Thank you for reading, Andre,
Hello, excellent review! Thank you, my friend. May joy and serenity fill your day. :)
gypsy buddha hugs
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Now this is a simple haiku I can relate to. Imagery of the stream drifting lazely by and your aaaahhhh of go with the flow. Nice visual we can relate to.
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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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Now this is a simple haiku I can relate to. Imagery of the stream drifting lazely by and your aaaahhhh of go with the flow. Nice visual we can relate to.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2017
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I am happy you can relate to my haiku, that is the point of this tiny poem form. :) Thank you, Barb,
Hello, excellent review! Thank you, my friend. May joy and serenity fill your day. :)
gypsy buddha hugs
