Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

The Alliterisen (Complex and Rhyming), a form created by Udit Bhatia, is a simple seven-lined poem with a specific syllable pattern and two alliterations per line. ... Well, is the form "Complex and Rhyming", Jeni, or is it a "simple" seven-line poem? It can't be both, LOL...

Regardless of whether it is or isn't, the form is interesting.

Good alliteration right out of the gate with, "Warring wizard," from the first line of your very first stanza.


spinning spells upon most dangerous dragon ~
with beast beaten and peace proclaimed, ... Here again with "dangerous dragon" as well as "peace proclaimed" and "beast beaten", too.

Nice, meandering melding of "M" and "C" sounds can be found in the following line, "Merry maiden now comes close."

Excellent, as always. Thank you for introducing me to a form of poetry I hadn't known.
~Dean

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2016

Hi, Dean,
No, that means there are two types of the form; one complex alliterisen and one rhyming alliterisen. Now that I read it again, it seems to me that whomever was writing the description of the form could have read over what he or she wrote. I think it would have then been obvious that the writing as it was put out could confuse people easily.They said that it was simple, the complex may not have been that hard, but I bet the rhyming one would really be a challenge.

Thanks for your wonderful review, my friend.

reply by Dean Kuch on 30-Nov-2016

Yes, I agree, Jeni.
You're very welcome.~Dean

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Wow Jeni! This is quite a challenge and you met it beautifully. You have introduced me to a new form. I enjoyed the story and the lovely alliteration. Well done.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Hi Luna
You have introduced a form that is not in the poetry dances. It is good to experiment with different poetic styles.
I love your poem and the alteration, with great imagery makes this poem so good. No story/poem is complete without the lusty maiden.

Well done I may just try one of these different styles of poetry. Mary

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thanks for the kind review. I apologize for my tardiness.

Thanks for your attention to my writing.

To the Moon and Back!

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Luna,

I enjoyed reading your poem. Great use of the alliteration. It creates super imagery for readers. This style sounds more difficult than it really is, right?

Perfect picture, too. Your words flow smoothly with a nice story.

Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

Comment from trumby

Excellent

You did a good job on this new form. I enjoyed reading the poem and actually read it three times and I still enjoy it, the alliteration are wonderful. Thanks fr sharing. I love the ending. Well done.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016

Thanks so much for reading my work and for this review. I appreciate your attention to my work and I apologize for not replying sooner!

luna

Comment from MissMerri

Excellent

Wow... what an interesting form! I really enjoyed your poem and thought the little story it told was delightful. You did an excellent job with what I consider a most difficult form, and made it seem musical and lyrical. Fun stuff! MM

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2016

Dear MissMerri,


I'm happy you found the form interesting and that you enjoyed the little story it told. I love this form. Thanks for your most gracious review.

Yours, luna

Comment from sanejane

Excellent

This poem made me chuckle. In my dark world humour is always appreciated.

It sparkles with the required alliteration. Perhaps inevitably, the closing lines are my favorites: -

Merry maiden now comes close
and arranges lusty liaison,
as the magic man is so striking.

but it's all wonderful. Even without the great image and presentation it would be colorful.

All the best,
Jane

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2016

Hi, Jane, and thanks! I appreciate the kind words of review. I'm happy to know that in your dark humour is always appreciated, for dark writing seems to be slipping through my nicey-nice writing recently. That's okay, though, whatever flips your boat.
I always appreciate your gracious review, Jane. Thanks very much

Jeni

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Luna,

This is an interesting new form that I have never seen before. I have to imagine that you could have a lot of fun creating one of these! *smile* Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2016

Robyn, look on shadowpoetry.com. They have tons of forms there. I did have a ball creating this poem. You should give it a try!

If you do, let me know so that I can be sure to read it.

Love,

luna

Comment from frogbook

Excellent

A great and interesting form very well composed. It was a tongue twister to read with the fine and complex alliteration. Very entertaining.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Nov-2016

Dear frogbook, I'm happy that you enjoyed this form with its regularly occurring alliteration.

Thanks for your kind review.

Yours,

luna.

Comment from mermaids

Exceptional

I like the feel and flow of your words. You also tell a dragon tale in few words. Clear images arise from your words and I can see the dragon being slayed. This is a challenging poetic form to create and you did well with it.

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2016