Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello

I like castles and I come from a country with many castles. They were built to last and for protection. People put up walls for protection too. I believe that love conquers all.
gypsy

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks for trviewing.

I think maybe you've missed the point of why this is in the faith contest, since you seem to have switched temples for castles...

Love conquers all? Perhaps But does it really conquer death?

Steve

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 14-Sep-2016

Temples are fortified like castles are. They keep fear away for many who use religion to keep away the monsters inside their minds.

I guess the king in his throne threw me off.

To me, love conquers all and it's a crazy notion because it has beaten the shit out of me on more than one occasion but I rather be a romantic fool than a bitter hopeless genius.

Is a beautiful villanelle, Steve. I'm proud of you. I'm sorry my review didn't do it justice.

Gypsy

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

You tricked me lol! I've been reviewing many villanelle contest entries so I automatically figured this was for the same contest. I did a doubletake when I saw it's an entry for the faith contest. Good thing I caught that before I said something silly.

I always enjoy your mastery of all form poetry. I always learn from you and your pen. No questions for the teacher at this time. Always a pleasure to read your polished work.

Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Joy.

I am enjoying seeing plenty of entries coming on for the two contests I have created, and I have decided only to enter them myself if it looks like there will be an empty spot. However, I had already started this villanelle - my first - so I thought O'd enter it here instead.

Steve

Comment from DonandVicki

Excellent

A very interesting and imaginative poetic verse. Well composed and enjoyable. You have opened my imagination as all good poetry should do.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from Bollie

Excellent

This is a very clever and creative poem for the Faith poetry contest. The great word usage combined with the perfect picture accompanying it really brings this poem alive. This is a really good poem, keep up the good work. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thank you for your kind words.

Steve

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

This is a very difficult form, yet you did it so beautifully.

My favorite part:

You thought that love could save you? Shed a tear;
that guardian angel's just a wizened crone,
and I am Storm; you know my time is near.


Good luck in the contest!

teresa

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Teresa - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from EricBrady

Excellent

I love castles. They were built for protection and the one thing that they cannot withstand is the storms of time, they always tend to crumble. Just like the castles, we tend to build walls around our hearts so that we don't get hurt. But true love will eventually break through and crumble those walls just like the storm. I'm glad you put the author notes in. This is my first villanelle that I have came across and I love it. I may have to give it a try. It is perfect for a medieval style poem. That could be fun. Thank you.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Eric. Yes, it is certainly an interesting and challenging form.

You are the second person who seems to have confused temples for castles, which perhaps means you have missed the point of why this is entered in the Faith contest.

Steve

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

I live in Port Charlotte, Florida. A real city, not the soap opera setting. Few years ago we had five hurricanes in one year. They came one after another. I called the the hurricane Dujoir. I thought they were going to tear down our petty temples.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Thomas.

They call them cyclones in our part of the world, and I've sat out a few when I was living in North Queensland - scary!

Steve

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Cloaked behind the cape of fear
It seems Death is riding the storm
Apocalypse is coming, and there no place to hide
No temple, wall or bauble
Nice change of word in the last repeat line
The villanelle form is done impeccably
in rhyme, repeats and iambic pentameter
Excellent presentation to match the quality of the poem
Not the usual faith poem
Best wishes with the judges
Six stars
I'm glad this poem wasn't in the villanelle voting booth lol

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thank you very much. I decided not to enter the villanelle contest unless there was an empty spot. There are only 4 spaces left with a couple of weeks still to go, so t looks like it will fill up.

Yes, i try not to write the 'usual' anything. I have won this contest once before with a poem that shakes up the conventional religious faith, so there is hope for this one, if the judges like it.

Steve

Comment from Grasshopper2

Excellent

A good villanelle that you have written for the Faith Contest challenge. Repeating the line "Tear down your petty temples raised to fear" adds power to the visuals. I enjoyed reading this. Good luck with the contest and thank you for sharing. Blessings.

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Michael.

Yes, I did want that line to be full of power and energy.

Steve

Comment from oliver818

Excellent

Great poem, and thanks for the explanation of the style you followed. I particularly enjoyed the first stanza. Thanks sharing and have a great day

 Comment Written 13-Sep-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016

Thanks, Oliver.

I organised a contest for the Villanelle, so I wanted to give the contestants an idea of how the form works.

Steve