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To Last Forever

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Virtuous "
Poems by Michael

27 total reviews 
Comment from gramalot8
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Reconciled.... very interesting. I was torn between totally not quite understanding what you were trying to say, to totally loving every word. Your descriptive language held me captive. I loved the clip from the movie as well. Great job and thanks for sharing this love story with us. Gramalot

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Hi...-smile-
    why thank you....I'm pleased you were captivated. love Michael
Comment from amada
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Somehow a little hard to understand. I read and re read and it tells me different things. But who cares, it got my attention...My fave line "oft rains misting cleansing feeling..."

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 25-Aug-2016
    Hey Happy...-smile-
    what do you mean...hard. you have lazy eyes...dont you...slip away from time too once upon. I wrote for one of yours remember...? -smile-...it could be and is partly memory. anyway....good to see you....love Michael
reply by amada on 27-Aug-2016
    Hi Michael. I always remember your love and kindness to me. Specially in those rough times, that come often. Always grateful for your attention.
Comment from Slythytove2
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This piece has more of an ethereal quality even with the strong Earthiness of some lines. I get the feeling of the first person in the early morning quietly taking off in a canoe from the beach on a lake, going fishing as the sun raises. No reason really. The subject wasn't about that but that's what it brought to mind. I do not listen to the songs, they influence my receptors too severely, I'm sure it was appropriate.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016

Comment from Bill Schott
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This poem, Virtuous, seems to project the ease with which we can realize that this whole planet and our reality is a gift from a power that mighty. We are in that love and it dawns anew each day.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016

Comment from Ogden
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I'm not sure if I understand this, at least not all of it,particularly the "viscious like wild out of Africa" stanza. I'm thinking it's about a rocky love relationship temporarily resolved after love-making at poem's conclusion.

That said, I found it to be a good read. It made me want to figure it out.

Don (Ogden)

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2016

Comment from Lena Borghi
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This is really beautiful, deep and thought provoking and laced with romance.

I've read it several times and every time, I get a bit of a different take on it. To me, that means it's a good write. You have very strong imagery throughout. I like how you repeated the first tercet at the end, with the lines in different order and added a word, although I haven't yet figured out what you are trying to say with that.

I can't write this way, without traditional grammatical rules, so this is a pleasure for me to read. Thanks for including the English Patient clips. Love that movie. I am guessing this was your inspiration.

Keep up the good work!

Best wishes,
Lena

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 23-Aug-2016
    Lena...-smile-
    yes Maam...paint by numbers bores me quick.
    born again...ah resurrect or recreate a paradise called us.
    most of my thoughts thus my writes are or can be seen differently depending on who and where you are....-smile-

    yea I really liked that movie.
    sure you can its just releasing what you feel in melody. its only hard when we make it so...ah my inspiration lives inside me day and night. but the love that man had for that woman resonated with me...and I liked the score. ...-smile-...thanks Lena. love Michael
Comment from RoostyNester
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Love through lazy eyes. Seeing your love through all the shades of earth, nothing deterring. I like the message and the insight of the love through your poem. Very well done in word and rhyme.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
    Hi...-smile-
    thank you for enjoying this with me. I was content with this one. love Michael
Comment from Wabigoon
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Reconciled--
A lot of things I like here. And a lot I don't.

I like a whole lot of your imagery but then I do not like how you divide the lines into threes which means you are cramming images together to fit a three line format -- why?

Why not
"soft rains misting
cleaning feeling?"

So the two images are distinct? together makes your poems much harder to grok the way you write them.

Couple of problems I'm not sure you care about:

between golden earth tones and heaven()s shade heaven's

between golden earth tones and heaven()s shade heaven's

Why "shattered glass clear crystal?"

Why not just "shattered glass" or "clear crystal?" Both is overkill.

Thanks, enjoyed it.
Wabigoon/Jeff

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 23-Aug-2016
    Well Wabigoon...welcome to the club...me too -smile-
    you dont like how I dived the lines...hm...its called poetic form...a stanza-d structure so to speak...I learned that here. "tercets" I believe there called...sounds French...ew lala....
    why....WHY WHY...why does the sun keep from shining...why ...sigh...well Jeff....I dont "cram" anything....I wouldn't feel right...-shoulderrshrug-...why...? because...that doesn't sound as smooth as "cleansing" ...thats why. Hey Bud....appreciate the heads up on the commas ...but its not necessary to spell it out twice for me. my names not Jim and dont drive a taxi...-smile-...crystal clear as in vision...shattered glass....because some evil people threw a rock through my picture window. okay Bud...hope learned something today. love Michael
reply by Wabigoon on 23-Aug-2016
    Reconciled--
    Thanks -- same for you. Hope you learned something today.

    Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment from Bollie
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Beautiful picture, beautiful poem, beautiful video, all three make for a beautiful presentation. Your poem is lovely and filled with deep passion. Really nice imagery that you've expressed in this fantastic poem. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 24-Aug-2016
    Hey Man...-smile-
    well alright...thought so too. happy you approve. love Michael
Comment from I am Cat
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Hello Michael,
This is beautiful. I especially liked these lines:

vicious, like wild out of Africa
mother torn from womb
lion(')s pride powerful

between golden earth tones and heavens shade
I see us love made
through these lazy eyes

especially that first one... vicious like out of Africa... mother torn from womb... great imagery and metaphor.
Good job hon
Cat

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2016


reply by the author on 23-Aug-2016
    Hello Catrina ....-smile-...,,well thank you. Did you watch that movie..,.the English patient..?.....very powerful love story. Hey ah....I've recorded this and my other on my phone....how do I get it on my poem....I can text message it....but for some reason I can't email it....got a clue?..,,.thank you Dear. Love michael
reply by I am Cat on 23-Aug-2016
    are you on an iphone?
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2016
    Yea apple
reply by I am Cat on 23-Aug-2016
    and you did it in Voice Memos?
    when you click on it after saving it, you should be able to save it to email... there must be something in your preferences... odd.
    let me check something
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2016
    Yes I have the option as well as messages....I can text it fine....but when I email it doesn't come....I'm at work right now.... But if you have ideas I would appreciate it.... Love
reply by I am Cat on 23-Aug-2016
    When you go to save it... and messages pops up... scroll sideways to the right, and you see the word, "More"... you should see "mail" in there? try that...
    once you get it in "mail" save it to your desktop, and put it in iTunes...
    when you have it there... highlight the file, click pull down "file"> "convert" > "mp3"
    once you have the mp3 file... you can upload that to here... but listen, it can only be a certain size... so look in the advanced settings to see what size that is. It's possible to 'shrink' the size... so let me know if you have any trouble, ok?
reply by I am Cat on 23-Aug-2016
    from your text, can you email it?
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2016
    Huh...I don't know let me try that when I get home....thank you...-smile-
reply by I am Cat on 23-Aug-2016
    You're welcome, let me know.