Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Hi Shelley! I saw this and was puzzled at first, because I thought 'the contest is over', but this is for the next one!

I like your choice of statement and question. It's poetic - doesn't feel contrived. And I like the idea of getting your 'voice' across in ink, which I think all writers strive to do.

Nicely done.

Av

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2016

lol! yea, i'm always an early bird LOL! thank you av :)

Comment from djeckert

Excellent

hey, i think i read this before , but it had some confusing extra lines. Im glad you cleaned it up. I really like what it says. Nice job and good luck with contest. God Blesses

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2016

thank you dj :-)

Comment from Margaret Ford

Excellent

Hi, Shelley. I'm swamped many reviews to do, but I'm trying to get some reviewing, done, as well.

This seems like a fine poem, to me (except the 'converse' matter). And I like the way it looks without artwork, too.

I got the impression that FS wants two questions, rather than a sentence that takes up two lines and ends with a question. But I'm not sure.

This poem has worth, so I hope no 'meanies' come along and disqualify you. But I don't think they always tell you when they do that.

Nice work. Best wishes. Margaret

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2016

no, only one question:

A quinzaine is a poem with three lines that has fifteen syllables. No rhymes. There should be seven syllables in the first line, five in the second line and three in the third line (7/5/3). The first line makes a statement. The next two lines ask a question relating to that statement.

Line 1: 7 syllables - make a statement
Line 2: 5 syllables - start a question about the subject
Line 3: 3 syllables - finish the question


thank you margaret :-)

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Poem asks a very good question.

You write what you want to say in print but your hidden messages are there if the reader looks deep enough into what you are "saying" in ink.

A good goal for all writers to try to accomplish. Makes the writing that much more interesting.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2016

yup! thank you cody :-)

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

This is a fine piece of poetry dear Shelley! It fills all the requirements and is a profound question.
Thank you for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings!
Rebekka x

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2016

thank you rebekka :-)

Comment from fimarie78

Excellent

Concise, but powerful. There is often so much emotion and connotations hidden behind text and of course, we cannot read the facial expressions and body language which would accompany the speech.
best of luck in the contest, Fiona

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2016

thank you marie :)

Comment from gramalot8

Excellent

Shelley, I've never done a quinzaine before. This was very nice and fit all the requirements. It also had a very good message. Thank you for sharing this with us and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016

thank you gramalot :-)

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Pitch perfect entry. I love it, dear SK. It speaks volumes that all poets will relate to. True to form.
Good statement/question resonance and inter-harmonic glow. Plus superb consonance of C-K sounds. Bravo.

Hugs,
rd

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016

thank you rd :-)

reply by rama devi on 06-Jul-2016

:-)))

Comment from sage17611

Excellent

There's power in the pen and the written words. Words can be uplifting, or cut like daggers. Your poem is well written with the statement and the relating question. Good job with the syllable count for this writing prompt. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016

thank you sage :-)

Comment from Slythytove2

Excellent

The problem I have with this work is that the message it carries seems to all come from the picture, not your words. The poems tells the reader how to read but the picture tell us what it means. Now if you took the picture too then...

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016

thank you sly :-)

reply by Slythytove2 on 06-Jul-2016

You're welcome and best of luck with your contest.