Comment from L.lora

Excellent

This is well executed, moves
the reader easily through
your passages. Poignant and
somber, emotionally gripping
the reader's heart. The lack
of punctuation here works well,
though with the way I read I
might have placed a comma between
"leave and please". A smooth
read, no nits etc. Lora

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much f, Lora, or your kind review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

Comment from AnnieDawn

Excellent

How kind of you to forever have your friend remembered in poetry. I like the way you explained how you wrote it for the newbie like myself to understand how the different styles are done. I hope your friend is on Hospice as they provide enough medication to relieve cancer pain. Your story jerks my heartstrings as I worked it for many years. Great poem and my prayers are with your friend.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, Annie, for your kind review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

I have had several members of my family knock low because of Cancer. I can understand the reason behind the poem. This is very well written.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, c_lucas, for your kind review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

prayers out to your friend to find peace, nice write on your friends sake. i'm not sure what I di when I know it's terminal. Just want to rest. have a wonderful day

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, William, for your kind review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

Comment from LisaD123

Excellent

This is a beautiful poem and the form fits perfectly with the subject matter. The repeated lines remind the reader that time is running out. The rhyme adds to the sense of finality and to the overall melancholy. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, Lisa, for your kind comments and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Exceptional

A well-written villanelle I can feel your friend's pain. She really wants to stay longer, but there is no hope that she will get better. She thinks it will be better to go then she don't have to see the pain in her loved ones eyes anymore.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, Sandra, for your kind comments and generous review. Yes, sometimes the pain is too much to bear. Those stars are for my friend. Thank you. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very well written poem you have done. I have never tried that style but I like it. You used very good wording and very good imagery. My mother died of cancer and it was not fun watching her. Teri

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 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, Teri, for your kind comments and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)

reply by Teri7 on 28-Apr-2016

you are so welcome. Teri

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

I love that you talk in her voice, Double negatives and all. That is a lovely poem and it came across to me as sincere. My husband's Dad died of brain cancer. One of his most painful moments in life came during that time. His father begged him to kill him. My husband didn't but he still talks about that as one of the hardest times in his life. Your poem touched me today. Thank you.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2016

Thank you so much, jusylee, for your kind comments and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)