Reviews from

Christine's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Our Grains of Sand"
Poems /stories on Fanstory

22 total reviews 
Comment from lightink
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What an excellent metaphors for the time we have! I love the format, the flow, you seem to have become very comfortable with meter, as well ;)!
This extended metaphor is a very skilfully chose and written one, and it's a rather unique take on the image! Wonderful piece!

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi lightink. Many thanks for reading and reviewing my challenge poem an I seem to do this style quite often and the metaphor just happened so I am pleased you thought it skillfully written. How much fun is this site ? Cheers my friend Christine😀
Comment from Linda Engel
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Very thought provoking and tender. Just the other day I thought about how much possible time I might have left. We are at the age, hubby and me, that our friends are having having strokes, and heart attacks or dying. That really puts our life in perspective..So hold on to grains God has given you , mold them, hold them and share them to the fullest. This was very emotional for me. Thank you Chrissy.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi Linda Yes one does question our time .we are in the same boat, with friends doing the same My brother had a heart attack in January and needed bypass surg he is Ok but Hmmmmm I try not to think about the lack of years left. but I know what you mean. I enjoyed this challenge and tried to think outside the square. Tnaks so much for reading and for your lovely comments Cheers Christine😄
Comment from Douglas Paul
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I like your analogy to "Sands of time". How we spend our time will most certainly determine the quality of our lives and the legacy we leave behind, Good insight in this poem, Chrissy

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi Douglas. Thanks for your review and comments. Yes our Sands of Time can be many and varied and I had a philosophical moment with this one and enjoyed the challenge Cheers as always Christine😄
Comment from Mary Wakeford
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I very much enjoyed your prompt entry and also, very good advice within. Excellent in presentation and rhyme, and the wisdom contained with the content is quite lovely. You may have a typo in the following line, or it may have been made for intonation, not sure, so just mentioning it.

*I'll give them all just one last speckt -> speck

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi Mary, My thanks to you for reading and reviewing my poem and also for picking up the speckt . I have corrected this now. I enjoyed this challenge and so pleased you enjoyed reading this Much appreciation Cheers Christine😄
Comment from Leineco
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A very effective metaphor for the grains of sand/grains of time
analogy. We have many choices to make - build on our memories
or let them fly leaving a desolate windswept beach. Horde our grains
or share them with others :-)

Very nicely done Chrissy :-)

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi Leiceco, Thank you for a lovely comments for this poem and yes our grains of sand do reflect time and it is the way we use them I am glad you liked this . Many Cheers for your Great R/R. Christine😀
Comment from pattipac
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Chrissy, I love what you've penned based on this challenge. Your poem reminds me of the hour-glass of sand, that reminds us not to waste our time frivolously, but to use it for good.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi pattipac. Firstly thank you for supplying such a thought provoking image and My Dad always talked about the 'Sands of Time' so my poem just appeared as I was thinking about this. I do so appreciate your lovely sixes and am honoured you thought this worthy. I did enjoy writing this. With a big Cheers to you Christine😀
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, Christine

= Beautifully penned and presented, my friend.
= Such a wonderful message in this, to appreciate what/who in our life before our grains of sand run out.
= Good job. (*<*)

~::~ A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! ~::~
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)

~::~ Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com ~::~
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi Jackie. Thanks for your awesome review and lovely sixes I treasure these from you. I hope I have created a thought provoking poem and pleased with the result so far. As always love you support and many Cheers coming your way. Christine😀
Comment from royowen
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I like your sand metaphor Christine, I don't think there is anything such as fate, omniscience guides our ship, and we decide, (like Hezekiah was granted 15 more years) which way it goes, just that God knows which way we'll go. Of course our bodies will run down one day but that's another matter, so in a sense there is, the bible says we have allotted days. So well done, I loved that if you have one grain left, you will give to another beautifully scribed in abcb rhyme form, sweetly smooth meter. Blessings, Roy
Typo : my sand is mixed with other(s) too.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi Roy. Thanks so much for your review and I hope I have many sands of time left and try to do the best I can with them. I think fate is sometimes alive, but we must control our life's plan and ensure we do our best for our family and be a good friend too. I enjoyed this challenge and pleased you liked my rhythm and meter Many Cheers as always Christine😀
reply by royowen on 26-Apr-2016
    Most welcome
Comment from William Ross
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Great job on the picture challenge, great rhyming and rhythm a nice story in poem sands of time. thanks for the share and have a great day

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi William, I am pleased you liked my poem and I enjoyed writing this and creating my story .Thanks for your lovely comments and sending a big Cheers to you Christine 😀
Comment from Cindy Warren
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Yep, we have to make the most of each day. None of us know just how much sand we have. In the second stanza, other's doesn't need the apostrophe. It's not a possessive.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2016


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
    Hi Cindy, Thanks for your review and picking upthat mistake I have corrected this now. and yes making the most of pur days is the quest. Appreciate your help Cheers Christine😀