Life's Observations and Reflections
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "A Child's Cry"This is my prologue for the NaPoWriMo 2016 (30 Poe
18 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
This felt "true" to the way a child would wail about
the imminent death of her mother - how could she
ever understand the unfairness? All the promises
of angel-doom mean nothing to her. She just wants
her mother to be with her!!!
Powerful write Fiona.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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This felt "true" to the way a child would wail about
the imminent death of her mother - how could she
ever understand the unfairness? All the promises
of angel-doom mean nothing to her. She just wants
her mother to be with her!!!
Powerful write Fiona.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, my friend, for those observations and your generous and kind review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Gert sherwood
What a heart breaking poem you have written for the contest
Marijke
What an amazing picture of your dear mother. I wish you the very best in this contest.
Gert
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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What a heart breaking poem you have written for the contest
Marijke
What an amazing picture of your dear mother. I wish you the very best in this contest.
Gert
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi Gert. Thank you for those kind comments and observations and your generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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You are so welcome
smiles
Gert
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You are welcome Marijke
Gert
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
You are so fortunate to have had a mother who meant so much to you, my friend. A sad poem but happy in the fact that you two were so very close. Well written~Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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You are so fortunate to have had a mother who meant so much to you, my friend. A sad poem but happy in the fact that you two were so very close. Well written~Debbie
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Yes, we were close... and I still feel close after all those years. Thanks for your review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from AnnaLinda
Marijke,
This is really a heartbreaking poem. Perfectly written and I'm so sorry
you had to lose your mom at such a young age. What will we do?
And ending it with your dad's tears...so impacting.
Very well done and a superb entry for the writing prompt.
Linda
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Marijke,
This is really a heartbreaking poem. Perfectly written and I'm so sorry
you had to lose your mom at such a young age. What will we do?
And ending it with your dad's tears...so impacting.
Very well done and a superb entry for the writing prompt.
Linda
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi Linda. Thank you for those kind and heartwarming comments and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from rmj09
This deserves ****** stars.
This meets the requirements for a Heart Break poem.
The poem focus the lost of Mama.
The poem story line development a child pleating for her Mom not to die, as she doesn't want to meet her at heavens gate. Recanting there are enough angels, but only one of her. If she goes the girl wants to go along, what will we do without her. Don't cry Papa.
The rhyming is an Aa Bb flowing down to the next line as a slow stream.
The rhythm is a slow progression forward as a death marsh.
The emotion felt inspired and lonely.
The natural pauses give us time to reflect on the words.
Keep on writing. Rita
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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This deserves ****** stars.
This meets the requirements for a Heart Break poem.
The poem focus the lost of Mama.
The poem story line development a child pleating for her Mom not to die, as she doesn't want to meet her at heavens gate. Recanting there are enough angels, but only one of her. If she goes the girl wants to go along, what will we do without her. Don't cry Papa.
The rhyming is an Aa Bb flowing down to the next line as a slow stream.
The rhythm is a slow progression forward as a death marsh.
The emotion felt inspired and lonely.
The natural pauses give us time to reflect on the words.
Keep on writing. Rita
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi Rita. Thank you for those kind comments and observations and your generous virtual six star review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from wilkswrites
I absolutely understand your pain as I lost my mother a few years ago. She was 75, and I often told myself that she lived a good long life, and so it was just her time. You, on the other hand, lost her at just 37. I cannot even imagine how you felt. ---Great Writing
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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I absolutely understand your pain as I lost my mother a few years ago. She was 75, and I often told myself that she lived a good long life, and so it was just her time. You, on the other hand, lost her at just 37. I cannot even imagine how you felt. ---Great Writing
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi vwilks. Thank you for those kind comments and observations and your generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from jusylee72
A story written in three short stanzas. That is truly beautiful. I enjoyed it. I knew the scenario, exactly what was happening even though it was never said out right. Thank you for that.
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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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A story written in three short stanzas. That is truly beautiful. I enjoyed it. I knew the scenario, exactly what was happening even though it was never said out right. Thank you for that.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi jusylee. Thank you for those kind comments and observations and your generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Douglas Paul
This is a great tribute to your mother. That must have been almost unbearable for you. I don't think a child of your age back then could possibly understand
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reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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This is a great tribute to your mother. That must have been almost unbearable for you. I don't think a child of your age back then could possibly understand
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi again Douglas.. Thank you for those kind comments and observations and your generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)