The Reign
potlatch free verse but late19 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Love the artwork Jimi. Those waves are fantastic.
Ah a musician. I can see why Mikey inspired this beautiful poem. I very much enjoy the crescendo of the oblong clouds. The sexual undertones a subtle footnote to the power of the perfect storm.
Oh dear the screeching violin is a powerful image. I remember those sounds quite well.
It's a wonderful verse my darling. I'm sure Mikey is thrilled to be the inspiration of such a magnum opus. :))
And thank you for a lovely offering to the Potlatch.
Gloria
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Love the artwork Jimi. Those waves are fantastic.
Ah a musician. I can see why Mikey inspired this beautiful poem. I very much enjoy the crescendo of the oblong clouds. The sexual undertones a subtle footnote to the power of the perfect storm.
Oh dear the screeching violin is a powerful image. I remember those sounds quite well.
It's a wonderful verse my darling. I'm sure Mikey is thrilled to be the inspiration of such a magnum opus. :))
And thank you for a lovely offering to the Potlatch.
Gloria
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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gloria... thank you. I am so inept at this truly. But hey, I will try to do better! Thank you so very much dear Gloria.... Jimi
Comment from NightWriter
The Reign is another beautifully written poem with so much depth and captivating rhythm. It's a conversation with the Gods, dialogue of the highest order! What prose!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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The Reign is another beautifully written poem with so much depth and captivating rhythm. It's a conversation with the Gods, dialogue of the highest order! What prose!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Steve, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Jimi
Comment from w.j.debi
Such a stirring mixture of myth, nature, music and majesty. The imagery is astounding and even a bit breathtaking.
Hailstones upon major keys
Sirens wail like a child mastering
the violin:
disjointed, jarring, painful, and grating
You control the elements and they respond to your moods with immediate displays of power, and even the ancient gods stand in awe.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Such a stirring mixture of myth, nature, music and majesty. The imagery is astounding and even a bit breathtaking.
Hailstones upon major keys
Sirens wail like a child mastering
the violin:
disjointed, jarring, painful, and grating
You control the elements and they respond to your moods with immediate displays of power, and even the ancient gods stand in awe.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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w.j debi, oh goodness, thank you ever so much! Once again I am honored by your review. wow.. thank you!!! Jimi
Comment from michaelcahill
finger the depth of the heavens
Just to run across a line of that originality so early is a thrill. This is truly amazing. If I had the slightest part in inspiring this than I am pleased I was born. No doubt it was my costent pestering. LOL I see no reason to change my opinion that you are top two or three on the site. I want to blather on forever about this, but I'll leave it at, GENIUS! Thanks so much for joining in. I'm pretending to have lost my mind and forgotten abut my own rule against sixes. HAHAHA! mikey
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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finger the depth of the heavens
Just to run across a line of that originality so early is a thrill. This is truly amazing. If I had the slightest part in inspiring this than I am pleased I was born. No doubt it was my costent pestering. LOL I see no reason to change my opinion that you are top two or three on the site. I want to blather on forever about this, but I'll leave it at, GENIUS! Thanks so much for joining in. I'm pretending to have lost my mind and forgotten abut my own rule against sixes. HAHAHA! mikey
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Mr Cahill, now really? Costent pesturing?? new word? Top two or three on this site?. Goodness, I have never been told that. I am blushing but truly I do not put much of my soul into writing.. guess I should, you think?? thank you so much. I am so honored. Yes, yes, I know I say this a lot but I mean it. Jimi
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Your poem seems to be about one of Zeus' many projeny, though this one a step-child-one who has gone to great effort to prove she's a goddess herself, and worthy of the others in her realm.
On the other hand, it stands alone as a call for personal power for a woman, or man really, who feels treated less worthy than they are. I find it inspiring!
Rhonda
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Your poem seems to be about one of Zeus' many projeny, though this one a step-child-one who has gone to great effort to prove she's a goddess herself, and worthy of the others in her realm.
On the other hand, it stands alone as a call for personal power for a woman, or man really, who feels treated less worthy than they are. I find it inspiring!
Rhonda
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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davisr(Rhonda,
thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my work. I am honored.. jlsavell
Comment from jusylee72
Interesting connection to being a step child in the universe. I like the way you open up your Voice and demand to be noticed as the person you are . Thank you for writing this.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Interesting connection to being a step child in the universe. I like the way you open up your Voice and demand to be noticed as the person you are . Thank you for writing this.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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once again jusylee72, thank you so very much!!!!!! jlsavell
Comment from BruceMiller
Yes, you have a clever idea here. Mixing Greek gods and musical directions to form your symbolism. I congratulate you for developing this creation. Cheers.
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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Yes, you have a clever idea here. Mixing Greek gods and musical directions to form your symbolism. I congratulate you for developing this creation. Cheers.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Bruce Miller, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my work. I am honored.. jlsavell
Comment from Eric1
Hi Jimi, so sorry to read that you haven't been too well, this must have taken an age to write, it is beautifully structured and a veritable cornucopia of description and imagery, a wonderful piece of poetry my friend.
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reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Hi Jimi, so sorry to read that you haven't been too well, this must have taken an age to write, it is beautifully structured and a veritable cornucopia of description and imagery, a wonderful piece of poetry my friend.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
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Eric1 , how are you? Thank you so very much fro stopping by to read and review my offering. I am honored.. Jimi
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all my pleasure Jimi.
Comment from Wabigoon
Jimi--
I really like this one though I confess I don't know who "you" are, who "Makini" is or what this has to do with potlatch?
You seem to be an under appreciated musician goddess here. You mostly use the greek Pantheon but I don't think you're asking for inclusion among them, except maybe to get them to notice you.
Couple of musical points maybe:
Such spellbinding temp(o) -- Would tempi be better here?
Adagio! -- what you're describing is not "adagio" but something more like "fortissimo?"
Maybe you can clue me in as to what the thinking here is?
Thanks
Jeff
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Jimi--
I really like this one though I confess I don't know who "you" are, who "Makini" is or what this has to do with potlatch?
You seem to be an under appreciated musician goddess here. You mostly use the greek Pantheon but I don't think you're asking for inclusion among them, except maybe to get them to notice you.
Couple of musical points maybe:
Such spellbinding temp(o) -- Would tempi be better here?
Adagio! -- what you're describing is not "adagio" but something more like "fortissimo?"
Maybe you can clue me in as to what the thinking here is?
Thanks
Jeff
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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potlatch free verse the subject is wind relating to a culture or mythology. I think. You are right. I will change. I think I need to delete the end line for Makani is Hawaiian for wind of the mountain, just simply leave it off/ What do you think?? thank you dear friend.. Jimi
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Jimi--
Don't...well you include boreas. Odysseus tries to trick the winds or god-goddess of winds and gets in a hell of a lot of trouble. My daughter, Mariah, we named for the wind, the song, "They Call the Wind Mariah." Wind was viewed as far as I know as "neuma?" divine breath, inspiration. I see...absolutely no reason why you can't clue the reader in somewhere along the way who your narrator is and, yes, Makini totally conflicts with the basically Greek mythology. I have not read any of the other entries. Computer seems to be mostly working this morning. Maybe somebody blew on it?
Jeff
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you tell me what name to use!!!! Mariah????? help
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Jimi--
The "Ruler of the Winds," in Greek mythology was Aeolus. Boreas was the god of the north wind. I must say I don't think "Aeolus" sounds very powerful or poetic!
If you were to use "Mariah" you might be able to conclude the poem with something like:
"some call me Aeolus
some Boreas,
some 'divine inspiration,'
but, if you call the wind
just call for Mariah."
I will vouch for this becasue...it works!"
Jeff