Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

CD: I like the images of the winds with the red dust clouds. You show the fear of the people and the fires. I like the dust dancing and zephyr winds. You explain this to the boy at the fire. Well written. Good challenge. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thank you, flylikeaneagle, for the lovely review. Wind is often associated with red dust in my part of the world. It was interesting to see the different associations for people from different places.

Much appreciated - Craig.

Comment from ciliverde

Excellent

Very nicely done, Craig! I really like this one. I love the examples of wind on land and sea (and it sounds very Australian, with the red dust). I assume you made up the Gods' names?

This is fantastic:
You will not see them, my son,
and neither will you hear;
for their breath is the zephyr you feel

I really do like the last two stanzas very much. Well done!
Carol

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Yes, I plucked them out of the air - I tried to make them "god-sounding", so I hope they're not too close to any actual gods - real or imagined ;-)

Thanks so much for the lovely comments, Carol.

Craig

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Craig,

This is quite imaginative and I enjoyed your myth of the wind. I really enjoyed this stanza:

Sit with me, my son.
Look to the fire
and I will tell you
what brings the rain;
what causes the tumult on the water;
what makes the dust to dance.

I imagined you camping with your sons and relating a tale of the power of nature. A moving thought. :)

Great job!

Kim

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Kim, for the lovely review.

I didn't know you were participating this week - are you? (I must check again) lol

Much appreciated :)

Craig

reply by ~Dovey on 02-Apr-2016

I did. I just started a little late and ran over the hour a bit. It is ok to be a rebel and break the rules in the name of Poetry, Mikey said so lol ;) Posting led to editing for the format I wanted lol

Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

REALLY nicely done, Craig! You're getting the hang of this free verse thing! I love this! Awesome job!
A few thoughts:

lie listlessly longing for rain. (nice alliteration!)

two places I think could use hyphens:
sun(-)baked
life(-)giving

my favorite part:

Sit with me, my son.
Look to the fire
and I will tell you
what brings the rain;
what causes the tumult on the water;
what makes the dust to dance.

(f)or their breath is the zephyr you feel
(after a semi-colon you don't capitalize)

(t)he rustling of the leaves
in the moonlight;
(same for this one)

Awesome interpretation of the prompt!
Cat

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Hi Cat - thanks for the wonderful review!

Agreed about the hyphens, and the caps after semicolons - I blame the time pressure lol (I will correct those post-haste).

I don't know that I'll ever get the hang of free verse, but I'm here to try everything that merciless Phyllis is ready to throw at us - no shirking or back-pedalling! ;-)

Comment from RodG

Excellent

You have responded very well to this prompt. I see you with your son passing on (by oral tradition) the stories of his ancient culture.
Good setting of the scenes, allowing us to SEE Wind and its multiple effects.
Love the names of the gods.
I truly enjoyed HOW the father taught his son to know & understand how they work in daily life.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Rod, for checking out my poem. It truly was a challenge for me, I was happy to get something down within the allotted time. Your kind words are very much appreciated - Craig. :)

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Hurrah! So you thought this was hard? Then why did you make it look so easy? Beautifully done! You brought in the primitive myth so smoothly, and even named the gods. I don't care what Mikey thinks about sixes... if I had one, I'd slap it on this gem. :)

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Awww thanks, Phyllis. Your words are a great encouragement.

I'm really enjoying challenging myself to get out of the "comfort zone", so I really appreciate your hard work in providing us with our topic each week - and our encouragement :)

Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

Great response for this myth of the wind prompt.
I enjoyed meeting some of my favorite people. Thank you for letting me be in the group.

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 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks for the kind review, jusylee. Great to have you aboard :)

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Wow, terrific job with your Potlatch entry Craig. I was there right with you the whole time and make no mistake the wind was really getting to me.

Terrific job with what I found to be a most challenging theme.

Excellent idea putting in the author notes too!

Love it,

Gloria

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Apr-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016

Thanks, Gloria. I found it really hard. It's very much out of my comfort zone, but given enough attempts, maybe one day I'll get passably good at it :)