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Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Last Time"A Flash Fiction Collection
36 total reviews
Comment from Serendipity!
Maybe some of us wouldn't put it in writing, but just the same, that's how we would feel. What better way is there to die but in the arms of the one you have loved and cherished for many many years.
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Maybe some of us wouldn't put it in writing, but just the same, that's how we would feel. What better way is there to die but in the arms of the one you have loved and cherished for many many years.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
Comment from Loren (7)
I recall hearing of such a case in Idaho or Montana (anyway some middle northern state). At the time I shook my head thinking just whose business is it anyway? You've presented a lovely, compassionate story of love between two individuals. The emotions were real,raw. The fear Dora felt was tangible as was the helpless desire Henry showed for holding on to something so dear he knew was passing away. Beautiful phraseology this: " As she spoke I felt the strength in her grip fading like the delicate snowflakes on the window." Just my opinion, I don't think the last paragraph about Henry never being seen again was necessary. Loren
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I recall hearing of such a case in Idaho or Montana (anyway some middle northern state). At the time I shook my head thinking just whose business is it anyway? You've presented a lovely, compassionate story of love between two individuals. The emotions were real,raw. The fear Dora felt was tangible as was the helpless desire Henry showed for holding on to something so dear he knew was passing away. Beautiful phraseology this: " As she spoke I felt the strength in her grip fading like the delicate snowflakes on the window." Just my opinion, I don't think the last paragraph about Henry never being seen again was necessary. Loren
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
Comment from Kazzawin
I feel so melancholy after reading this.
So much to do with sexual union is attributed to youth and yet many elderly couples still enjoy the blessings of their partnership. A sensitive subject and thought provoking, especially about the rights and wrongs of what happened in the hospice.
Whatever the rules I felt anger at the way the staff handled the situation next morning, sullying his last memory and stripping her of dignity in her passing.
The end was sad but as they were so in love.....almost inevitable.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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I feel so melancholy after reading this.
So much to do with sexual union is attributed to youth and yet many elderly couples still enjoy the blessings of their partnership. A sensitive subject and thought provoking, especially about the rights and wrongs of what happened in the hospice.
Whatever the rules I felt anger at the way the staff handled the situation next morning, sullying his last memory and stripping her of dignity in her passing.
The end was sad but as they were so in love.....almost inevitable.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
Comment from janalma
A sweet and sad story. Mildly erotic, but gentle in the mind. Very well written and holds the reader's attention.
no evidence that consent wasn't given and believes that it was whole-hearted (do you think 'whole-heartedly' might be better here) given; therefore I find no probable...
>not sure about this, it just sounds better to me<
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A sweet and sad story. Mildly erotic, but gentle in the mind. Very well written and holds the reader's attention.
no evidence that consent wasn't given and believes that it was whole-hearted (do you think 'whole-heartedly' might be better here) given; therefore I find no probable...
>not sure about this, it just sounds better to me<
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
I have tears in my eyes. This is true love. I don't want to die before my husband, I've told him this many times, but it's so heartbreaking. Talk about the best way to go out though. Great job
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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I have tears in my eyes. This is true love. I don't want to die before my husband, I've told him this many times, but it's so heartbreaking. Talk about the best way to go out though. Great job
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Lancellot:
I had forgotten how compelling your words are as you paint pictures
of scenes some may think are taboo - but the emotion of this piece is
startling and brought me to tears. I am so happy to be reading your
work once again.
jan
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Lancellot:
I had forgotten how compelling your words are as you paint pictures
of scenes some may think are taboo - but the emotion of this piece is
startling and brought me to tears. I am so happy to be reading your
work once again.
jan
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much
Comment from michaelcahill
Hell, I don't know if this is a believable story or not. But, I sure as hell believe it and could care less what anyone else has to say about it. LOL Beautifully written and told piece. Loved it. Of course it's true. Love is just like that, that's all. mikey
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Hell, I don't know if this is a believable story or not. But, I sure as hell believe it and could care less what anyone else has to say about it. LOL Beautifully written and told piece. Loved it. Of course it's true. Love is just like that, that's all. mikey
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Lancellot, I thought your story was absolutely brilliant, anyone who reads this and isn't touched must have a heart of stone, the two characters were so endearing and the story itself was deeply profound, thank you for sharing my friend.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Hi Lancellot, I thought your story was absolutely brilliant, anyone who reads this and isn't touched must have a heart of stone, the two characters were so endearing and the story itself was deeply profound, thank you for sharing my friend.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much
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It was a pleasure to read and review my friend.
Comment from William Ross
what a wonderful story of love great write and great read. as long as she was alive when it all started, one last love with her husband. Good luck on this.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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what a wonderful story of love great write and great read. as long as she was alive when it all started, one last love with her husband. Good luck on this.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much
Comment from GeraldS
This was a nice story and not at all what I expected for this contest. It engaged and held my interest throughout. It was impressively told in a very few words. Personally I would have left the arrest and trial part out of the ending. It wasn't believable to me and I don't think it added anything to the depth of the piece. Just my opinion, for what its worth.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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This was a nice story and not at all what I expected for this contest. It engaged and held my interest throughout. It was impressively told in a very few words. Personally I would have left the arrest and trial part out of the ending. It wasn't believable to me and I don't think it added anything to the depth of the piece. Just my opinion, for what its worth.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much