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Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Blue Paint Stallion"
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17 total reviews 
Comment from foxangie123
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love the part about angry and passionate red. That is a genius statement in itself and so real it takes my breath. This is excellent my dear friend.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    You're too kind, Angie. I'm so pleased you enjoyed. Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

WOW! This is a masterpiece, Mikey. Loud applause. Your genius is showing here, so I'd be careful if I were you. There are jealous poets in every dark corner. Not me, tho. I never wrote a Haliburton and never plan to, so you go ahead and ride that blue pony to fame and success, and I'll look for you among the stars. :)

Now, after swelling your head, let's see if I can make your hat fit again.

a train doesn't think
it follows the tracks
[they've] no choice either <-- Should say IT HAS no choice, since you are speaking of the train's thoughts, not the tracks'... WONDERFUL lines, btw.

I only know; I want to go <-- Ouch! There should be NO punctuation, not even a comma.
Reason: Implied THAT. (I only know THAT I want to go) It's omitted, but the rule still applies--never put a comma before THAT, and a semi-colon is much worse.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Wow. I'm surprised you enjoyed this so much. I was afraid no one would to be honest. I'm stunned by your response and totally humbled. This isn't exactly a haibun, it's just how I write. The closest thing to it as far as a form is haibun so I call it a kind of haibun. :))
    Well, I'm too shocked to get a big head yet. HA! I will fix those errors. Actually I was speaking of the tracks. "They have no choice either". But I see what you mean and I'll look at it to make it more clear. Thanks billions, mikey
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 07-Mar-2016
    Oh, right. You did say EITHER. Musta missed that. Fine, then. :)
Comment from robyn corum
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Mikey,

I think this is a poem about loneliness, depression and despair. Not without hope, but carrying a heavy weight - and one that has been carried for a while now.

I think all really good writers have 'issues' - that's where the creative fountain springs from --> our less-than-perfect pasts. I love the way you describe this time in your life (I think) and how it affects you. I know I can relate to being alone in a room filled with people. Even as I smile and laugh. Fabulous write. (For MY interpretation, anyway.) And if I'm off... good. *smile*

The following lines are beyond brilliant. When I hit the first one, I knew this was a six-worthy piece. (And I don't give sixes, Mikey.) *smile*

Favorite (magnificent!) lines:
Yellow so light it lifts everything skyward, and purple you can taste until it stains the sides of your mouth.

The sky breaks into pieces as we crash through it.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Gee whiz, Robyn. You must be living inside of my brain. Wow. I honestly didn't think a soul would get one word of this. I'm honored to receive a six from you and beyond delighted for your understanding. That's the world to me. mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

No one is going to get this, michael. Maybe one or two will get a feel, maybe. This is what I love, some damn deep shit to think about. Love is always at the heart of it with you crazy man. Soooo, a time when you were ignored maybe? You do that to yourself. Unless, hmm, okay, some cant have or doesnt want thing. Anyway. I will br thinking. Yes. More of yhis. I` ll read it. NG

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Well, duh. What else is there but love? Or the damn lack of it. Shit! Me ignored? Is that possible? Could be, but how could I be lonely, aren't I too beloved? Yeah, that's it. :))
    Thanks soooo much for being down with this. I know hardly anyone will even bother to at least get a feel for it. You're always a rock. michael
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this promo blueness and other colors of course so you forgot to add some objective content of the color blue most written about witches eyes or blue that's alright when I go to post on my porch at like to use to request turquoise and black font looks well ordered black as a background when orange I've seen or any bright color with the black makes it stand out anything except black and white of course and this was well written this well thank you for this Ricky 10:24

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 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    In this case, blue is the color of true love. :))
    Glad you liked this, Ricky. Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from reconciled
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

this bluetiful....absolutely bluetiful. Hello Cahill...-smile-...this rocks man. I see the poet unsatisfied, hungry for colorful...but never quite fed....who creates what he cant taste unoticed in the solitude of wild mustang dust. great read. love Michael

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!! I LOVE YOU! I was hoping someone who would actually get something out of this might read it. Yep. Thank you one million times. I was dreading the "I don't get it" fest. HA! mikey
Comment from Realist101
Excellent
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Very strangely beautiful Mike. Not sure it's a haibun, but I'm no expert there. It's like poetic prose too. Sounds like some of the odd thoughts I get when I'm down and go outside where the air clears my mind. Or muddles it in my case. I really enjoyed this post. S.

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 Comment Written 07-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Thanks so much, Susan
    No, it isn't a haibun. It's just how I write. But I don't know what else to call it. A good description of the method too, except I'm too lazy to go outside. :))
    I'm pleased you liked this. mikey
reply by Realist101 on 07-Mar-2016
    :) Nice work...I hope you'll go outside sometime and just sit. I don't know where you live, if it's in town, well, I'd stay in too. I'm looking for a place to live where I don't even see a neighbors porch light. I just can't stand it. Lol!