Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

I love her artwork and that heart is so amazing. I love this loving poem you created. It gives forgiveness to imperfections while it gives a sweet kiss. Wonderful...

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 14-Feb-2016

Hi foxangie123, Many thanks for your review and comments for my 'different' take on Valentine, So glad you like it. Many Cheers for your support of my work X Christine 😃

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

There are all kinds of loves celebrated on Valentine's Day.

For many of them the day is "just going through the motions" as this well written poem depicts.

If only they were expressed that way the other 364 days of the year so many more relationships would be much better off.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016

Hi Brett, Many thanks for reading this and for your thoughtful review. Yes Expressions of love should be everyday, not just one. Nice to hear from you and thanks for your support Cheers Christine. 😃

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

It truly happens where the one partner gives everything and the other one takes it all and misuse the other's trust and love, because they know their partner will forgivebthem again.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016

Hi Sandra, thanks for reading and reviweing my poem and I bet there a many. one sided relationships out there, Thought I would write for them Many Cheers Christine😃

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This is a sad poem. Some relationships are doomed from the very start. The mistress never sees her man on special occasions and the wife never gets the presents. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016

Hi dmt1967. thanks so much for your review and comments and yes I am sure there are many struggling with a doomed marriage. Many Cheers for your support Christine😃

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very nice really beautiful well done and very well written. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece with us. have yourself a wonderful day.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016

Hi William, I 😃am so pleased you enjoyed this poem and Thank you so much for your review. And you also have a wonderful day.Cheers Christine😀

Comment from ronnie k

Excellent

Hello, I wish I could rate this as it moved me but I can review and say ,THANK YOU, a beautiful poem the kind of poetry that gave me interest in poetry, one continued rhyme, love the read. YES, there are so many married and couples that are aone.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016

Hi ronnie k, thank you very much for reading and reciewing my poem and for your lovely words, that means a lot. Yes I am sure there are many lonely couples out there, and hopefully one day will find a true Valentine. Many Cheers Christine😀

Comment from NJK62

Excellent

What a tragic situation the poem describes! The desperation of the speaker in the poem emerges strongly as she tries to keep this failed relationship going. I like the use of caesuras and internal rhyme: they help to convey the speaker's urgency to persuade her partner to recommit. The form that you have chosen is a demanding one and just occasionally it sounds a little forced: e.g. the unnatural word order of 'when you go out then me deceive' to fit the rhyme scheme. Nevertheless, this is a small point and did not mar my enjoyment of the poem. Thanks for sharing it with us. Nigel.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016

Hi Nigel, Many thanks for reading my poem and for your encouraging comments and yes that is the one line I struggled with ,so have made a change so I hope it reads more smoothly. I appreciate your feedback and pleased to have your comment Cheers for a Happy Valentine Christine 😃

reply by NJK62 on 13-Feb-2016

Pleasure.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

The internal rhyming is strong and good. the first line of verse three is the weakest in this regard (you could invert it and start 'With me' ending with 'you stay' which would preserve the rhyme.

I rather sad Valentine's poem and suggests more about want / need than actual love.

Your indiscretions' I'll forgive - no apostrophe necessary at the end of indiscretions.

All the best
GMG

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2016

---

reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016

Hi GMG , Thanks so much for your review and suggestions, of which I have corrected, I am glad to have had your advice and yes it does make it read much better. just a thought of those out there who are still hoping. Cheers Christine