Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Sweet Sister Lilith the Pure"A collection of sonnets
18 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha, very nice, Mikey. Lilith who is generally thought to be in part derived from a historically far earlier class of female demons. So right there, we know this little sister is not a nice girl. In fact, she's is the epitome of evil.
And of course, Lilith left Adam after she refused to become subservient to him and then would not return to the Garden of Eden after she coupled with the archangel Samuel. And they say, what's in a name. Yeesh.
Excellent sonnet and written in perfect iambic meter and top form rhymes my dear.
This sweet little demon isn't a nice sweet little girl at all and drove the poor man totally nuts. LOL.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Love you,
Gloria
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Ha, very nice, Mikey. Lilith who is generally thought to be in part derived from a historically far earlier class of female demons. So right there, we know this little sister is not a nice girl. In fact, she's is the epitome of evil.
And of course, Lilith left Adam after she refused to become subservient to him and then would not return to the Garden of Eden after she coupled with the archangel Samuel. And they say, what's in a name. Yeesh.
Excellent sonnet and written in perfect iambic meter and top form rhymes my dear.
This sweet little demon isn't a nice sweet little girl at all and drove the poor man totally nuts. LOL.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Love you,
Gloria
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
Another great piece here again.
Very chilling and atmospheric. Great presentation and accompanying soundtracks.
Taking something innocent and apparently sweet and twisting it is a great horror premise.
great stuff and good luck
G
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Hi Mikey,
Another great piece here again.
Very chilling and atmospheric. Great presentation and accompanying soundtracks.
Taking something innocent and apparently sweet and twisting it is a great horror premise.
great stuff and good luck
G
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from Realist101
Hi Mikey! This would be the perfect story too. Sonnets are impossible for me so to judge is also impossible. All I can say is I really like it! AND that song gives me the absolute willies. Some kid on my bus in fourth grade played it one day, over and over and over again all the way from school to our house on one of those portable record players. The bus driver was ready to be committed I'm sure! OH for the good old days. Keep up the most excellent work! Suse/ps. I think I'll get an MP3 player and play this out my window for my sweet neighbors! Over and over and over again! LOL! :D
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Hi Mikey! This would be the perfect story too. Sonnets are impossible for me so to judge is also impossible. All I can say is I really like it! AND that song gives me the absolute willies. Some kid on my bus in fourth grade played it one day, over and over and over again all the way from school to our house on one of those portable record players. The bus driver was ready to be committed I'm sure! OH for the good old days. Keep up the most excellent work! Suse/ps. I think I'll get an MP3 player and play this out my window for my sweet neighbors! Over and over and over again! LOL! :D
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from Neonewman
Awesome artwork and lyrics in the end! They're coming to take me away ha ha! I love it! I have to figure out how to add fun stuff like this to my work! Masterfully crafted this Lilith the pure Sonnet!
God bless and good luck Mikey!
Steve
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Awesome artwork and lyrics in the end! They're coming to take me away ha ha! I love it! I have to figure out how to add fun stuff like this to my work! Masterfully crafted this Lilith the pure Sonnet!
God bless and good luck Mikey!
Steve
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from I am Cat
That's exactly what I was singing all the way down....
they're coming to take me away ha ha ha ho ha he
;)
yeah... wait, they can't take you away to there,
you're already there. ;)
or here?
or something...
how could you take such a beautiful child and do that to her?
tsk tsk
well written and with a seemingly sicko sort of slant that I'm only a tiny bit less worried about you than about Dean...
oh... but so well done.
;)
Good luck in the contest my dear man...
Cat
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That's exactly what I was singing all the way down....
they're coming to take me away ha ha ha ho ha he
;)
yeah... wait, they can't take you away to there,
you're already there. ;)
or here?
or something...
how could you take such a beautiful child and do that to her?
tsk tsk
well written and with a seemingly sicko sort of slant that I'm only a tiny bit less worried about you than about Dean...
oh... but so well done.
;)
Good luck in the contest my dear man...
Cat
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from amahra
Ho ho ha ha he he LOL This really lit me up. But I'm out of six stars. But this was fabulous and topped with a funny song that I was be humming until I go to sleep. This was great.
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Ho ho ha ha he he LOL This really lit me up. But I'm out of six stars. But this was fabulous and topped with a funny song that I was be humming until I go to sleep. This was great.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from krys123
Mike;
- very powerful and prolific where the essence contains a frightening aspect of insanity. The picture you have chosen throughout your writing were very appropriate, adequate, complementary and relative to your work and most frightening to be exact.
- the imagery was quite distinct and clear and exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout your writing.
- the way you compose your writing was very frightening to the fact that it sounded so real and that the story adaptation to real life was absolutely astonishing.
-each of your writing words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm flow smoothly and being that your writing was neither nor labored was also helpful in this fact.
-the rhythmic meter being iambic pentameter in your cadence, timing and tempo were all helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-although written in a sonnet format it was not an American or Shakespearean sonnet more like a freelance sonnet.
-thank you for sharing and posting this writing and may the good Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Mike;
- very powerful and prolific where the essence contains a frightening aspect of insanity. The picture you have chosen throughout your writing were very appropriate, adequate, complementary and relative to your work and most frightening to be exact.
- the imagery was quite distinct and clear and exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout your writing.
- the way you compose your writing was very frightening to the fact that it sounded so real and that the story adaptation to real life was absolutely astonishing.
-each of your writing words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm flow smoothly and being that your writing was neither nor labored was also helpful in this fact.
-the rhythmic meter being iambic pentameter in your cadence, timing and tempo were all helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-although written in a sonnet format it was not an American or Shakespearean sonnet more like a freelance sonnet.
-thank you for sharing and posting this writing and may the good Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from nordicgirl
This is flawless and quite chilling. Wow. The perfection of the rhythm actually adds to the effect as does the rhyme and word choice. What a perfect choice of song. Hahaha!!!!!!!!
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This is flawless and quite chilling. Wow. The perfection of the rhythm actually adds to the effect as does the rhyme and word choice. What a perfect choice of song. Hahaha!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2015
